Where did 15 years go?

15 years, seriously? Where did it go? As I got here to work this morning and realized that my annual performance review was due today I started thinking. I looked at the heading and it includes my hire date June 25, 1995. Fifteen years ago today. Wow. A lot has happened in the past 15 years. Some bad but most good.
If you consider a working career with a company 30 years then I guess I am at the mid-point. Everything is down hill to retirement right? I seriously need to keep working though because my investments and portfolio aren't nearly ready to support me and my family yet.
I included the most recently taken picture of me that I can find. Taken at our friends' 25 wedding vow ceremony, or more specifically at the party after. I look at myself and how I have aged from that kid that 15 years ago who fresh off a failed first career out of college attempt took the next job with benefits that came along. I figured I would work here a few years until I found my true calling. Did that true calling ever come? Maybe it has and I just never realized it. I have a few things that I would like to tell that kid from fifteen years ago who was so care free and had his whole life in front of him. A few things maybe but I don't think I would tell him to change much. Here's hoping the next fifteen years go well also.

-Doc

I'm No Wilt Chamberlin, but...

Several weeks ago, Doc posted a blog regarding Warren Beatty’s claim to having sex with over 12,000 women. While I find it hard to believe, it did get me wondering about my sex life, “How often do my wife and I have sex?” While not as active as we were BC (Before Children) and having careers, I would have said we were definitely above the norm. But, I had to know for sure!

So, due to a bad mix of curiosity and OCD, I started tracking the number of times my wife and I did the deed since the beginning of the year; all thanks to Doc and his wonderful blog. After 60 days, I calculated the frequency and thought the percentage was pretty good. I did a little searching online for studies done and found my results to be accurate.

With a good passing grade in the frequency category versus the rest of society, it dawns on me that I have overlooked the more important aspect. I got so wound up in thinking about the number of times that I didn’t think about the quality. Like most busy couples, we have to fit sex in to our schedule on occasion and sometimes the pre-sex ‘buildup’ isn’t there. But I’d like to think that even during those interactions, we both enjoy what’s going on. The only way to answer this question was for me to ask the wife, “What do you think?” I sweated this out for a few days before finding the right opportunity to ask. C’mon, making sure her bell is rung well and often is a job I take seriously. If she were to say her satisfaction level was low, I’d be crushed!

Now, I’m not going into details (the wife would not be happy and then there would be no quantity to test the quality!), but suffice it to say I was pleased with her answer and even more that it led us to speaking about things we hadn’t in a long while. Being together for almost 16 years, we both had stopped doing things we once had and took other things for granted.

How do you/your significant other view your sex life? The first part, you can do on your own. For the second, you have the option of guessing or, for the brave at heart, asking them first to answer correctly. Also, which is more important to you: quantity or quality?

Drowning in a sea

Ugh! I feel like I'm drowning in a a sea of expectations. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now with all the changes that need to take place, both at home and work. I know I need to make a list and prioritize and put together steps but even doing that feels daunting.

So what happens? I remove myself from the situation with something mundane and fun, like shopping or reading or blogging. I procrastinate until the last minute and then it's even more stressful.

For the most part, my life is pretty good right now. Finances are slowly coming back together, tax season is over, youth are behaving themselves, spring is here. Why do I still feel this way? I think I need a vacation...oh wait, I just had one. Besides self-medicating with vodka, shopping and chocolate, does anyone else have any suggestions?

-As American as Apple Pie

This made me think

The other day while stopped in bad traffic waiting to turn on to the interstate I saw another car opposite of me that I can only describe as a kind of gang banger car. It was lowered with big chrome rims and there was a 20ish African American male slumped low in the drivers seat sporting cornrow braids. I didn't think anything of it at first as this in itself is not an unusual sight, however I had to take a second look. As I sat there I began to realize that he was singing the the same song that I was hearing on my car radio. I looked again and there was no doubt that he was mouthing the words to Led Zeppelin's Living Loving Maid.

I had two thoughts. First of all maybe just maybe I have more street cred than I thought. Then discarding that as preposterous my second thought was that some prejudice or preconceived notion inside of me automatically assumed that this guy based solely on his appearance would probably enjoy some other kind of music that I was listening to. That made me think. I am certainly not a racist person. I was actually brought up in a very racially and culturally diverse family setting. This situation just helped to remind me that self examination of my own preconceived notions about the other folks we share this planet with is healthy for me. Never make assumptions based on appearances because so often those are wrong. If my window had been down I would have probably said something totally un-cool to him like. "Rock On Man!"

Yeah I really need to work on that street cred thing.

-Doc