Red Dragon

I’m the kind of person that may mention something that I’m interested in or doing in passing. However, I mull it around in my head for quite some time and when I finally decide to do it many are surprised and not sure where I got that crazy idea. Several years ago when the gas prices hiked up I considered getting a motorcycle or scooter. I love the Vespa scooters from Roman Holiday, and I’m a bit of a vintage girl. The Vespa should be perfect for me...

Last May I got my motorcycle license by taking a motorcycle class so I proudly have a “CM” on my license. Last year I never made a commitment to find a bike. I decided I was going to go with a motorcycle over a scooter. But in discussion about the cc’s some told the 650 is powerful enough. Others said no, go with the 900. Agggh….I can’t make up my mind.

Wednesday, I got an email from Vespa with $400-500 off a new scooter. I discovered we had a dealer in Topeka (they keep a few bikes on hand). The one I wanted was sitting on the floor and looks like the one in the above picture. The one in the picture is for sale on e-bay in Vista Cali and was apparently used in a Jonas Brothers video? Because there had been damage in shipping they were willing to give me over $1,000 off. I rode it around their building and had a blast! Looking at the yearly insurance, the monthly payment, and we've had a HUGE oil disaster and this cute scooter gets 70 mpg it was too good to turn down. This little Vespa was going home with me.

They delivered it and I had to take it for a spin. I live on a street that is 2 blocks long located between 6th and 8th Street. I stared going toward 6th street which is a 5 lane and realized it was about 5 PM so that wasn’t going to be a good idea. I turned and was on my way to 8th street which is a 2 way with no painted lines. At 7th Street I had the thought I should turn here, but there was a car waiting on me – I’ll just go to 8th.

I’m stopped at 8th street and about to go but see a car so I wait. I'm thinking this is really nice I can really see the cars. Okay, no traffic at all so I proceed to do a left hand turn. Oh, not I’m going too fast. I think I hit the accelerator when I was trying to hit the break. In front of me is a church with a grassy lawn and all I have to do is jump the curb and miss a street sign. I’m not sure if I just fell over or if there was some sliding into my stop these things happen so quickly. There is no damage to the lawn or the sign. The bike was on top of one leg. I was able to turn the bike off and get it off of me. I walk it over to the church drive way. Two cars are about to leave and I tell them to go on and a lady asks if I’m okay. I said I was. Traffic was clear again so I go home. Along the way the bike keeps dying.

I feel like an idiot. Damage to the bike: glass in right mirror shattered and the check engine light is on so I have to get it back to the dealer. No other physical damage to the bike. Damage to Disaster Chick with injuries most painful to least: Big toe there is a gash in the groove on the right side of the nail with what appears to be three big punctures so it could just be dried blood in the groove (this ruined a pair of dressy Crocs - they do exist); right side of my upper rib cage under my breast is hurting more (hurt slightly the first day or two and it worse today) with deep breaths and when I’m making a significant position change, however, there is no sign of bruising; right thigh has a huge bruise (bigger than my hand) that has been iced quite a bit that had grown a huge goose egg in the time to took me to get to the church driveway; backside of right bicep has some road/grass rash; and left side of back just in the spot that you often see pregnant women putting their hand for support is tender.

The color listed on the dealer key tag says “Red Dragon” although the official color is Dragon Red – I think this Vespa earned itself itself the nickname "Dragon" after our first experience together. It has a total of 4 miles on it. I’m going to ride again. There is a community theater about 2 blocks from my house and there are no major streets to get there, so it looks like that will be where I practice. I’m not going be defeated by a Vespa.

What accidents have you been in that left you feeling like you were stupid? Doesn't have to involve a two wheeler - could be anything - trampoline, walking into a wall, ect. - help me feel like I'm not the only dumb one out here!!!

-Disaster Chick

Love Your Community

Living in Topeka (Kansas) we see HATE on a daily basis thanks to Westboro "Baptist" Church led by Fred Phelps. This group has made national attention with their anti-gay and now ani-American messages picketing at the funeral of soliders. This fall a case will come before the Supreme Court dealing with funeral picketing. For awhile I saw bumper stickers that said "PHUCK PHRED" which I thought were pretty clever. Needless to say I reguarly see people standing on corners with signs - unfortunately that messege is one that is very negative.

A group of young professionals created a group called "Think Big Topeka" about the time that Google announced they were taking nominations for a commuinty to be the experiment for the Fiber Optic Internet. I am on the outskirts of this gorup. Right now their major focus is going to be Google until there is an announcement (crossing fingers) saying that Topeka is the test site! I've never seen so much positivity in Topkea.

One of the guys involved created this website, and started "positive picketing" on April 28, 2010. Several more, including myself, joined in on May 4, and next week hopefully even more will join.

I am an extrovert, but usually not the center of attention. Standing on a corner holding a colorful sign, waiving at people, and hoping they will acknowledge you with a wave or a honk in return is exciting. Everyone should experience this at least once in your life. The biggest vehicle we got to honk was either a city bus or a fire truck. We were amazed to get a honk out of an ambulance with lights and sirens going - we got a wave from the guy in the passenger seat so we know it was meant for us.

People are always dogging Topeka, but I have lived in worse places. I'm to the point in my life that I'm realizing we have the power to change what we are unhappy with in our lives. Even sometimes if you fake that happiness it will become real. I used to constantly live for the next stage in my life: high school, then college, then getting a real job that paid, then marriage. I was just existing, and realized I was wishing my life away. What happens next children, then getting the kids out of the house, then retirement, then what - death? Why not live in the moment and enjoy where you are with what you've got? That's what I'm trying to do know.

-Disaster Chick

Do the shoes make the man?

I read this story and was amazed. Here is a young man that made a bet that he could have easily swept under the rug and no one would remember a thing about it. It really seems like the world has changed. No longer is “my word” and a handshake acceptable we must have a contract for our attorneys to go over – and don’t forget to read the small print!

We’ve also become so much more judging. He said that people thought he was poor because of his shoes. I wonder what his social life was like at school – which group did he belong to? If you don’t wear the right clothes you won’t fit in. We all desperately wanted to fit in when we were in school.

One of the things I just read was don’t worry about getting the approval of other people because people are self focused and are wanting to get your approval of them. Is this what life is about – trying to get approval from others?

In college there was a guy that had dreds and walked barefoot even in snow. One day the University Daily Kansan did an article on him. He said as a youth his family went to Alaska. There he walked on the tundra barefoot and enjoyed the feeling so much that he wanted to experience the world though his feet. This goes to show there is always more to the story. Maybe the hippie guy has it right – maybe we should experience life how we want to and not give a damn what others think. Oh, yeah, he did carry a cheap pair of flip flops in his back pack when he went into places that required shoes.

The more I think about it shoes really doesn’t make the man, because both of these men are very interesting, but their shoes weren’t. Why am I in a competition with Imelda Marcos for shoes?

-Disaster Chick

Lizard Lovin' ...

As my son and I sit in the waiting room where he goes for some tutoring, his teacher comes out and says come look at these huge lizards (the ones we saw were bigger then the two below). These two lizards were on the step of the office in a similar position as pictured below. The teacher looks and says to me I think they are fighting. Um…I don’t think so! I looked to her and said I believe they are mating. I take a closer look because I was very curious and it seem they did not mind my presence at all. As I am watching I see a red penis and the obvious male seeming to be humping the female. My son is looking as close as I am and starts laughing…..he is 7. Luckily he didn't have time to ask to many questions because it was time to start his sesson. He did however check before he left to see if they were still there and they weren't. I would have to say I got my monies worth that day. With getting a science lesson up close and personal and the hour of tutoring. I had no idea that lizards even had a penis! Did you? Oh, under the picture is just a little information about how they mate, but I was pretty sure the female had a hold of the males neck. She clearly was in charge with that mating ritual!
Male lizards will approach the female from the side, with many biting the neck of the female, and try to get their cloaca in a position as close as possible to the female. At this point, the closest hemipenis is erected.

-Southern Belle

Accents and Timelines ....

Hola peeps!  It’s me, Jay the Cynical_Bastard guest posting on this lovely Friday.  Well, I assume it’s a lovely Friday. I mean, it might be a really crappy Friday, I don’t know.  But, let’s just pretend that it’s a lovely Friday, shall we?

Today I thought I would blog about two of my biggest pet peeves with television shows.  Now, I know that when we’re watching TV or movies we are supposed to suspend reality a bit and just accept certain things.  For the most part I can do that.  I pretend that fat, goofy guys who work in blue collar jobs can be married to someone as hot as Leah Remini.  I pretend that teenage girls can put on a blond wig and be a pop music superstar and nobody in her school could ever find out.  Hell, I even pretend that a mullet-sporting redneck like Billy Ray Cyrus was totally believable as a doctor on “Doc.”  

But, there are a couple of things that I just can’t seem to get past on TV shows..

So, since Doc is a proud North Carolinian and I’m an embarrassed Arkansan (sorry, I don’t like Arkanasawyer) I thought I would bring up my first complaint here.  Now, I know that Hollywood would NEVER stereotype people. But, have you ever noticed that every dumb character has a southern accent?

Hell, even if the character lives in Chicago or Minnesota or Los Angeles or whatever, if they’re dumb, they have a southern accent.  You would think that with Sarah Palin on the scene now, liberal Hollywood would give all our dumb ass characters a “youbetcha” type accent.  But, oh no.  Dumb people are always country people and they always have a southern accent.  Even if they’ve never lived in the south. 

Okay, so now complaint number 2 is all about timelines.  This is honestly my biggest pet peeve about any show.  It just amazes me how much ground people on TV can cover in such a short amount of time.  I’ll give you an example using one of my favorite shows NCIS:

So, everyone shows up for work in the morning at NCIS headquarters.  We can assume it’s 8 o’clock-ish, when they get there.  Gibbs is already there and tells the team that they have a fugitive they need to go pick up in Virginia somewhere.  So, they head out and drive all way out into the boonies. 

Amazingly enough they don’t hit any traffic at all.  I guess traffic around Washington D.C. isn’t all that bad.  Anyway, they get there and they find their fugitive.  Unfortunately he’s dead.  Sucks for him.  Now they have to call Ducky and Palmer to come out to the crime scene in the mobile meth crime lab van thingy.  Ducky and Palmer get there lickity-split also.  They do all their forensic work, load up the stiff and head back to NCIS offices. 

AND THEY GET BACK TO THE OFFICE BEFORE IT’S EVEN LUNCHTIME!

It’s amazing!  Federal agents on TV can be told about a crime in California, get on a plane and fly out there from Kentucky and get there before the police have even “processed” the crime scene.  Amazing!  And then they interview witnesses and chase the bad guys to the Mexican border, shoot EVERYBODY (except the dumb girl with the southern accent who got duped by one of the bad guys) and head on home before it gets dark.  Even in daylight savings time this is a remarkable accomplishment.  And it really does drive me crazy.

Also, last night as I was talking to my very awesome friend who also happens to be super damn hot, I thought of another one of these pet peeves.  This one is pretty much confined to soap operas though.  Ever notice how someone can have a baby, and all of the sudden that baby become like a six year old over the weekend?  And then like month later that six year old is suddenly like 12?  Weird.

And, ever notice how someone can be in a car accident, lose the use of his legs, but when they have him at the hospital right after the accident, they don’t even have an IV set up on that kid?  Amazing! And he’s totally able to talk and understand what people are saying and whatever.  Of course, after years and years of watching people with really hideous diseases and injuries being completely cured in under an hour on “ER,” I guess that “no IV” thing shouldn’t really be all that big of a deal. 

Okay, I should probably end this here.  Otherwise I’ll turn it into a looooong list of pet peeves about TV and movies and who knows what else.   Thanks for letting me guest post Doc.  And you can breathe a sigh of relief now since I didn’t blog about hookers or strippers. 

Or Miley Cyrus. 

Easter Best?

~*~*~

Ahhh ... Easter Sunday. The day when little girls get the frilliest spring dress they'll get all year, complete with a matching handbag and white patent leather shoes. And little boys? They'll be in their khakis, with a belt, their button down collared shirt scratching at their neck, and wearing the only pair of shoes their mom could could find without rubber soles.

That's what church is about, right? Getting all gussied up. Putting your best foot forward. Dressing the part. Let's not forget showing up for the Easter sunrise service insuring everyone you know sees you there! Yeah ... Easter sunrise service attendance earns church bonus points!

Just don't catch the scrutiny of the Easter Sunday church service fashion police. Don't get me wrong, it's not like the church fashion police aren't always on the prowl, but there seems to be some unspoken church rule that says it's OK to visibly show your disapproval on one of the holiest of Christian holidays.

From one blog I read ...

"Now I am not criticizing anyone, but here's a few religious beefs I have on my mind: I was raised that anytime you were in God's house, you dressed up. Slacks, button down shirts, ties and a jacket for men and a modest dress and nice shoes for women. So, I don't understand how people can show up in sweat pants for church. I also don't understand those "come as you are churches". If I go to someone's house, I take off my shoes, if I go to God's house, I wear respectable clothes."

**NOTE** This blogger did tell me, via email, that what she was trying to convey is that church dress should be "the best of what you have. Most of the time sweat pants is not the best of what you have."

From another blog in my reader ...

"Then there's that whore mother of three, perched suggestively in the pew to the right, who, though her desire to provide for her children is admirable, apparently forgot to change after her shift at "Clive's House of Cleavage." Let's just say her hard boiled eggs were in some serious need of being hidden."

In all fairness, it was difficult to tell if this blog post was written as satire (not the normal voice of this particular blogger) or if it was more passive-aggressive, but I'm leaning towards the latter.

I am fortunate that I attend one of those "come as you are" churches. That doesn't mean those who attend lack respect for the Church - or for God. I've seen many young men (my own son included) walk into the church atrium with a ball cap on, but once they walk through the sanctuary doors, those hats quickly come off. Young children sit quietly in their seats, comfortable in their fleece or jammies. Seldom does anyone walk into worship late.

And you know what? I'm thinking God doesn't care much what anyone is wearing or how much they spent to look nice on Sunday. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that He doesn't even care if we've brushed our teeth (although I'm sure there has been more than one Christian parent who has claimed otherwise). Nope! I'm thinking God is far more concerned with my heart than he is with my Donna Karan.

Wouldn't it be a better place if we were all a little more that way?

~*~*~

A few Monday thoughts

I hope everyone had a great weekend. We did, very busy with stuff all three nights. Last night we even had some severe weather and a tornado touched down in the next county but altogether a great weekend. A few notes:

-NCAA tournament updated standings to the right over there. Kimmeh continues to lead but can score no more points. Can anyone catch her?
-Later this week possibly tomorrow (if they get them to me) My two other blog brothers Mt. Cat and AbsolutGator and I will be posting our top 10 lists of most influential music albums of out life. Should be good stuff!
-The NASCAR race at Martinsville Virginia was rained out yesterday so I get the rare opportunity to listen to the race here at work on the radio... GREAT FUN on a Monday!
-I am here this week but will be leaving Friday night on vacation (Spring Break) up to New York (The NOFO) for the opening of NY Mets season and my brother in law's wedding the following weekend. I will basically be gone from the 3rd until the 13th and although I will have internet access but probably won't be able to post much so I have a request... Would a couple of you like to guest blog here on YJKOBT for me? A few posts about whatever you like? Random stuff or odd news? Let me know because I would love to have some guest bloggers to post next week. I will just add you on as a YJKOBT contributor.
-After this weekend I am less than 10 miles away from completing my goal to Walk to 100 miles so by the time I get back from New York I will have completed my goal ahead of time actually! It also seems that I have been losing some weight so I guess I am doing OK with my goal of living healthier.
-Why the cat with the lime on it's head? Because I like it and have never had a good excuse to post it here.

I hope everyone has a great week!

-Doc

A Beatles Memory

My dear cousin Pat who is a regular commentor on this webblog would like to share with us the following hilarious story. Enjoy:

Quite a few years ago my husband and I were comp-ed tickets for Ringo Star and his All-star Band at Caesar's in Atlantic City. Members of the All-star Band included, Billy Preston, Mark Farner (Grand Funk), John Ethwistle (The Who), Randy Bachman (BTO), Felix Cavalieri (The Rascals) and Zach Starky on drums (Ringo's son).

This concert was very special to my husband because he is Grand Funk Railroads biggest fan and seeing Mark Farner in a small venue like A.C. was going to be great.

When we arrived they seated us on the first table next to the stage. What a rush to know some of our music Idols would be within reach. Now it’s time for the show to start and the crowd is going crazy and out comes each member being introduced by Ringo Star himself. A Beatle standing right in front of me, I could touch his shoes…I was so excited.

Every artist did solos from some of their greatest hits…Randy Bachman whose position on stage, playing in the band, was right in front of me. He sang “Taking care of Business” and “No Sugar Tonight”.

He was great, but he kept staring at me and smiling...I kept looking behind me, but no one was there but a bunch of yuppies drinking beers. I thought maybe I was mistaken, so I just watched the rest of the show. Mark Farner came out and did “Locomotion” and “I’m your Captain” my husband was yelling and singing and well just becoming a little embarrassing. At the end of his solo time Farner bends over the stage to shake all his fans hands …My husband (if he were taller than 5’4) would have boosted himself on the stage to get a handshake from his IDOL. It was like slow motion, down the stage he came, shaking hands and greeting people, and as he got to us he looked up at the audience and gave a wave and passed us right up…It was an outrage…would my husband ever get over it? Would this be the concert he’d like to forget…Well, I felt terrible for him, but for me it didn’t matter.

The concert continues and we are enjoying all the rest of the artists, but between each song, the language I had to listen to from my husband about not getting his hand shook was never-ending. Why must he make such a big deal about this guy...Knock it off already I wanted to tell him…But I didn’t.

Finally Ringo Star comes on and does a medley of some of his famous Beatles songs (not that there were many) and then some of his songs he made famous as a single artist. His song “Your Sixteen” a popular song that many generations will recognize he closed the show with….But here’s the catch, as he was singing, he would look at woman in the audience and sing to them; He then looked at me and started to sing, I was going to faint, all I could hear is him sing “Your 16”, put his hand out and shakes it from side to side and make the sound ‘Ehhh’! “Your Beautiful and Your Mine.” Did I hear right, from all the women in the audience he decides to look at me and say, basically “Sweetie your not even close”……Oh My God! I was ranked out by a Beatle…For some reason my husband had forgotten his fury aimed at Mark Farner and was rolling on the floor with laughter, telling strangers at the other tables what Ringo did to his wife.

The concert ends, still in shock, I go to turn and follow my husband out of the arena when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn and it was Randy Bachman from BTO asking me if I would like his guitar pick from the show. Well this was a nice consolation prize, to settle some of my misery. My husband is now not laughing as hard, after he sees what I had been given. As we enter the casino we both go to different slot machines to try our luck, I got up to move to another machine, and who is behind me, (you’re right) Randy Bachman. I was startled, but smiled and said” Hi, you must be exhausted after the show,” He said, yeah just going to have a cocktail with my manager would you like to join us?” ……WHAT? Was I hearing things, did he ask me for a drink? WOW!” I would love to but I am meeting my husband here in 5 minutes”. Did I just say that, O boy! Have I changed…The night proved to have its ups and downs but Ringo was right…I certainly wasn’t sixteen anymore…

- Cousin Pat