Contemporary Christmas Songs

I'm taking a week off from the poll due to the holiday week but still figured I would post something. So in the spirit of Christmas I figured I would put a little twist on the typical favorite Christmas music post. There are so many classic Christmas songs from the likes of Bing Crosby and Johny Mathis. That's not what I am looking for here. I want rock and roll or at least more contemporary stuff. Just off the top of my head I came up with a list of my favorites:
(I can't promise that the links work since youtube is blocked at work)

The Eagles - Please Come Home for Christmas

The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping


Bruce Springsteen - Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Billy Squier - Christmas is a Time to Say I love You

Adam Sandler - The Hanukkah Song (Not Christmas obviously but still a great tune)

Josh Groban - O Holy Night

and my favorite:

Barenaked Ladies w/ Sarah McLachlan - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

So tell me what are your favorite rock or more contemporary Christmas songs? Lets make a list!

-Doc

Awsome Christmas Decorating Idea

I saw this idea for a spoof on Christmas lights and just had to post it... Hilarious. This guy set this up to look as if his ladder fell out from under him while he was stringing up the lights! Read the caption below. I ought to do this at our house:

Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my
Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after two
days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories,
but two things made me take it down.

First, the cops advised me
that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove
by.

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost
killed herself putting it against my house and didn't realize that it was fake
until she climbed to the top (she was not happy).

By the way, she
was one of the many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn't take it
either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my
yard.

Merry Christmas !

-Doc

YJKOBT Christmas Pageant 2009

We here at YJKOBT are happy to present as our Christmas gift you you this Holiday season our Christmas Pageant. Based on everything that has happened this past year we have attempted to bring an all star cast to portray the Manger nativity scene. So here as our we proudly present the cast for this years Christmas Pageant as only YJKOBT can do it:

Portraying Mary the Blessed Mother of Jesus we have Sarah Palin. A perfect symbol of pure holier-than-thou-ness who also seems to have already had some experience with pageants as well as the immaculate conception and virgin birth. Sarah will take some time out of her book tour make a fine Virgin Mary and besides we tried to get Angelina Jolie but she was busy abroad adopting another child and trying to save the world in other ways.

We thought about Joseph and who could possibly be better than Barack Obama to portray Jesus' father? Even though he really wanted to play the Savior instead we cast him for Joseph. Obama will make a great Joseph because who else can better portray having a big presence in the story but really not having a heck of a lot of control of the outcome? Besides we already have one Joseph (Biden) in the White House who does nothing. Might as well make it two.

Now who shall we get to play our glorious Christ Child in YJKOBT's Christmas pageant? Well Falcon Heene of course! Our little balloon boy is perfect! Who better to act out what happens to a kid suddenly thrust into a spotlight that he wasn't ready for? (Let's just hope that he doesn't puke on our stage)

Every Christmas pageant has an Angel Gabriel who announces to the frightened shepherds that The Savior has been born. We didn't have to look far to cast this one because already singing with the angels (maybe) is Michael Jackson. He already has the costume picked out and you can best believe it has plenty of sequins. The King of Pop will portray the Angel Gabriel and will be accompanied by an entire stage of heavenly hosts including Taylor Swift, Miley Sirus, The Jonas Brothers, and Susan Boyle. Oh yes we go all out here at YJKOBT.

Cast as the shepherds who were watching their flocks by night are Robert Pattinson, Adam Lambert, and Kanye West. These three all had years worthy of being cast for various reasons although Adam and Robert are really concerned that Kanye is gonna steal the spotlight.

Following those poor shepherds of course are sheep. We were inundated with requests to be in the play and had to limit the number of sheep we could cast. Out of all the requests we settled on the following sheep who have been underexposed in 2009 and really need the exposure: Kim Kardashian, Megan Fox, Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan, Brittney Spears, and Carrie Prejean. After finishing the casting we had to reconsider and add another sheep as well. We added Amy Winehouse since not only does she need the exposure but she is certainly close to death now that she is 27 and the YJKOBT pageant just may be her final performance.

To continue we looked at the characters of the Three Wise Men. When we cast David Letterman, Gov. Mark Sanford, and Tiger Woods (just missing the cut was John Edwards) as our Christmas wise men we decided that the concept would be reversed. In our pageant these three will be known as Dumb, Dumber, and Just Plain Stupid. The three idiots. And you wondered why the wise men traveled from afar without their wives? I think we know now.

Bringing the idiots on their long journey of course are camels and once again we had to narrow the list from a ton of qualified candidates who wanted to make our play. We settled on the most dromedary like characters we could find. Making the cast were Keith Olberman, Bill O'Riley, Sean Hannity, Jay Leno, and Conan O'Brien. Jimmy Fallon would have been cast here but we were afraid that his 2009's trend would continue and nobody would come and watch.

Last but not least we had to fill out the stage with the animals gathered around the manger. The oxen and the asses. We found no shortage of able bodied people willing to fill these roles. Cast as the oxen and the asses this year are Perez Hilton, Bernard Madoff, Chris Brown, and Jon Gosselin.

So what do you think? How will this cast perform? Is there anyone we missed that deserved casting? Please as always your comments are welcome and we would love to hear your thoughts.

Merry Christmas everybody!!

-Doc

Vince's Yule Time Rant '09

Well folks as our holiday season is upon us filled with joy, sentiment and maxed out credit cards, I want to share with you my festive thoughts and feelings as my gift to you with a big fat red bow tied on top.

Yes the Christmas carolers are out and about with jovial voices and runny nosed children chanting holy splendor. But I never get that gushy feeling when a chorus of little pre-teens get together to form a spiritual cluster of octave cheer. It is not the fact that I dislike the tone of 20 odd high pitched little brats singing off key. It is because of how these parents think I am SUPPOSE to feel about them.

‘Oh look, that’s our little Darthaniel singing ‘Oh Come All Yee Faithful’. Isn’t he just so precious and talented?’

‘That’s our wholesome Fawnette; warbling the bars of ‘Silent Night’. Ain’t she just sublime? Didn’t we raise such a swell little girl?’

These parents needs to take the first space shuttle back to the planet earth. Really now folks your offspring are not that special! Yeah yeah they are somewhat cute and I guess they make me all furry inside but he is not Mickey Rooney and your daughter is not Judy Garland…unless she drinks spiked eggnog then maybe she is.

And please do not make it worse by dressing your son for school in a little suit with a five inch snare drum. Your kids version of ‘The Little Boy’ makes me cringe more than when David Bowie teamed up with Bing Crosby. Pa rum pum pum pum THIS!

Look these imps have enough pressure with school work, friends and their Guitar Heros. So stop getting ideas that they will be on TV as ‘America’s Next Superstar Cherub’. Let your grommets run free and don’t expect them to sing in front of Uncle Bill and Auntie Janis on Christmas day. Believe me they will hate you for it and make you pay when you are old and feeble. Don’t mess up your kids more than you were after your second divorce.

But I digress.

This Christmas time should be a period to bring together our personal finances for the greater good of gift giving. And what symbolizes that Madison Avenue icon of presents more than Santa Claus! With that Little Debbie crumbed beard and the Maker’s Mark breathe! What better patriotic symbol do we have in our U.S. of A? The fat man of every shopping mall in America. Well I have a message for these Ed Wood quality thespians: Act like Santa Claus and that’s it! Nothing more! Do not stretch the character! You are NOT going to win an Academy Award up there on that plywood & Styrofoam stage.

'To Ho Ho Ho, or not to Ho Ho Ho? That is the question’. There is no way Santa Claus can pull of Shakespeare!

These children are five and six years old; they are more scared of you than entertained! Stop with the method Santa Claus ok you Robert De Niro wannabes!

Now if you really are an actor and this is the only gig you can get, well then I really think you should start to reconsider another career path.

And if you MUST spruce up your Kriss Kringle do it right. Stop OVERACTING! You are Saint Nicholas, not Saint NICHOLAS CAGE!

I guess I really have to except these faux Santas because they are here to stay. But what really needs to stop are those annoying bastard chipmunks!

Alvin, Simon and who is the other one? I think his name is Road Kill.

Really I am in a Kmart and then I hear piercingly over the load speakers: ‘Chwismus, Chwismus, twime is near, twime fur twoys and twine for chweerrrrrrrr’.

UGH!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!! THE HORROR!!

I suddenly have visions of one of these disease infested forest rats in the torture scene from ‘Reservoir Dogs’!

Can’t you see Mr. Blonde cutting Alvin’s ear off? Now that would be great TV! ‘The Quentin Tarantino Christmas Special’

This will be the darkest Christmas entertainment since ‘The William Shatner Christmas Album’.

But I’m no sadist.

I just think we’ve lost the holiday spirit in a gapping hole of want and need. We are bombarded by commercial ads of useless junk that I’ll forget about come January.

And please ask me what I want for Christmas before you buy me something!

‘Thanks Aunt Ethel! I always wanted an electric hairbrush!’

‘Darling you shouldn’t have! Rambos 1, 2, 3 AND 4. This makes my DVD collection complete!’

‘Grandma. How on earth could you afford to buy me a talking alarm clock on your fixed income?’

Please I’d prefer a Chia Pet and be done with it.

But really for me the best part of the holiday season is snow. I love that white powder. And not because IT IS snow. I love snow because so many people despise snow.

I get a kick out of people who get depressed this time of year because they hate the cold. Well guess what? You live in New York. It is December. It gets cold in New York in December!! Why are you so surprised EVERY year? I know it sucks but you make it worse on yourself by complaining about it. Move to Southern California if 30 degrees is soooo bad. My holiday experience is happier when you are cold and blue. To me this is my kind of jolly cheer. I pray for two feet of snow and 5 degrees Fahrenheit with high winds. It makes me laugh and feel better about myself when you shiver and whine. Keep it up.

So let’s accept the snow and frolic & dance in a white covered Central Park! It should be a happy time! No matter what you have or don’t have. That is the real spirit of Christmas! With chestnuts roasting and five or six or seven Brandy Alexanders. Let us all throw snow balls at the children carolers and rejoice!

Happy Holidays to everyone and a healthy 2010!

I love you all,

Vince

The Mountain Cat's Yule Time Rant '08

Well folks as our holiday season is upon us filled with joy, sentiment and maxed out credit cards, I want to share with you my festive thoughts and feelings as my gift to you with a big fat red bow tied on top.

Yes the Christmas carolers are out and about with jovial voices and runny nosed children chanting holy splendor. But I never get that gushy feeling when a chorus of little pre-teens get together to form a spiritual cluster of octave cheer. It is not the fact that I dislike the tone of 20 odd high pitched little brats singing off key. It is because of how these parents think I am SUPPOSE to feel about them.

‘Oh look, that’s our little Darthaniel singing ‘Oh Come All Yee Faithful’. Isn’t he just so precious and talented?’‘That’s our wholesome Fawnette; warbling the bars of ‘Silent Night’. Ain’t she just sublime? Didn’t we raise such a swell little girl?’

These parents needs to take the first space shuttle back to the planet earth. Really now folks your offspring are not that special! Yeah yeah they are somewhat cute and I guess they make me all furry inside but he is not Mickey Rooney and your daughter is not Judy Garland…unless she drinks spiked eggnog then maybe she is.

And please do not make it worse by dressing your son for school in a little suit with a five inch snare drum. Your kids version of ‘The Little Boy’ makes me cringe more than when David Bowie teamed up with Bing Crosby. Pa rum pum pum pum THIS!

Look these imps have enough pressure with school work, friends and their Wii’s. So stop getting ideas that they will be on TV as ‘America’s Next Superstar Cherub’. Let your grommets run free and don’t expect them to sing in front of Uncle Bill and Auntie Janis on Christmas day. Believe me they will hate you for it and make you pay when you are old and feeble. Don’t mess up your kids more than you were after your second divorce.

But I digress.

This Christmas time should be a period to bring together our personal finances for the greater good of gift giving. And what symbolizes that Madison Avenue icon of presents more than Santa Claus! With that Little Debbie crumbed beard and the Old Granddad breathe! What better patriotic symbol do we have in our U.S. of A? The fat man of every shopping mall in America. Well I have a message for these Ed Wood quality thespians: Act like Santa Claus and that’s it! Nothing more! Do not stretch the character! You are NOT going to win an Academy Award up there on that plywood & Styrofoam stage.

‘To Ho Ho Ho, or not to Ho Ho Ho? That is the question’. There is no way Santa Claus can pull of Shakespeare!

These children are five and six years old; they are more scared of you than entertained! Stop with the method Santa Claus ok you Robert De Niro wannabes! Now if you really are an actor and this is the only gig you can get, well then I really think you should start to reconsider another career path.And if you MUST spruce up your Kriss Kringle do it right. Stop OVERACTING! You are Saint Nicholas, not Saint NICHOLAS CAGE!

I guess I really have to except these faux Santas because they are here to stay. But what really needs to stop are those annoying bastard chipmunks!Alvin, Simon and who is the other one? I think his name is Road Kill.

Really I am in a Kmart and then I hear piercingly over the load speakers: ‘Chwismus, Chwismus, twime is near, twime fur twoys and twine for chweerrrrrrrr’. UGH!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!! THE HORROR!! I suddenly have visions of one of these disease infested forest rats in the torture scene from ‘Reservoir Dogs’! Can’t you see Mr. Blonde cutting Alvin’s ear off? Now that would be great TV! ‘The Quentin Tarantino Christmas Special’This will be the darkest Christmas entertainment since ‘The William Shatner Christmas Album’.

But I’m no sadist.

I just think we’ve lost the holiday spirit in a gapping hole of want and need. We are bombarded by commercial ads of useless junk that I’ll forget about come January.And please ask me what I want for Christmas before you buy me something!

'Thanks Aunt Ethel! I always wanted an electric hairbrush!’‘Darling you shouldn’t have! Rambos 1, 2 AND 3. This makes my DVD collection complete!’‘Grandma. How on earth could you afford to buy me a talking alarm clock on your fixed income?’

Please I’d prefer a Chia Pet and be done with it.

But really for me the best part of the holiday season is snow. I love that white powder. And not because IT IS snow. I love snow because so many people despise snow.I get a kick out of people who get depressed this time of year because they hate the cold. Well guess what? You live in New York. It is December. It gets cold in New York in December!! Why are you so surprised EVERY year? I know it sucks but you make it worse on yourself by complaining about it. Move to Southern California if 30 degrees is soooo bad. My holiday experience is happier when you are cold and blue. To me this is my kind of jolly cheer. I pray for two feet of snow and 5 degrees Fahrenheit with high winds. It makes me laugh and feel better about myself when you shiver and whine. Keep it up.

So let’s accept the snow and frolic & dance in a white covered Central Park! It should be a happy time! No matter what you have or don’t have. That is the real spirit of Christmas! With chestnuts roasting and five or six or seven Brandy Alexanders. Let us all throw snow balls at the children carolers and rejoice!

Happy Holidays to everyone and a healthy 2009!

I love you all,

Vince (aka The Mountain Cat)