Ok who has been shooting missiles off?

I am sure that by now everyone has heard about the "mystery missile" seen over Los Angeles by a news helicopter on Monday night. In case you missed it I have posted a couple of pictures of it here so you can see. Pretty neat huh?

What is it? Is it a military missile or something else. "The U.S. military says it's not theirs. A spokesperson for the Navy says no activities were planned in the area at that time.
Officials at the Pentagon also did not know any details about the launch and said that it could not have been planned military action." NORAD says its not a "foreign missile" So of course speculation is running rampant. Are we under attack? Was this a military exercise they are trying to cover up for some reason? Is it just a an airplane contrail as some civilian aviators have postured? Who knows?

The FAA says that it could have been a projectile launched by a private company although none had been given the required license to do so. With this in mind I have developed a theory. I think that Google did it. We all know that google is trying their best to take over the world and this is the logical next step.

Google has a lot of enemies and needs to protect itself. There is censorship in China and we know the Chinese government is no fan so maybe this missile thing is the way that they can get back at them? Maybe they were trying to show the people of LA the they are far superior to Yahoo! who could never shoot off a missile. Or perhaps Google was trying to blow up Bing and take them out? This actually seems like about as likely a cause as any, so that's my answer. Google shot off the missile.

What do you think?

-Doc

What was Jesse James thinking?

So last week after I heard about the Jesse James and Sandra Bullock scandal where this motorcycle builder who is married to one of America's sweethearts has been accused of cheating on her I figured the woman he cheated on her with must be some sort of knockout. Then I heard her name was Michelle Bombshell McGee so that fits right? Then I heard she was a tattoo model and I went uh oh. A tattoo model? Then I saw pictures and I just had to post this. When they say tattoo model they aren't saying that this woman has a cute little tramp stamp or a bunny on her breast, she is flat out covered in the ink. She also looks kind of like a vampire or something. So without further adieu let me introduce you to Michelle Bombshell McGee: (for more pictures you can click here)
Now I know that the tat model refers to you as the Vanilla Gorilla and all that but I just cant see it my man. Sandra just reached the pinnacle of her career and won an Oscar. Jesse, buddy you had this at home and chose to screw around with that?

Of course maybe Jesse is just one of these guys who gets really turned on by the ink. I am not sure that Sandra Bullock has any and certainly not as much as Ms. Bombshell or Jesse's former squeeze (and porn star) Janine Lindemulder pictured below in a happy moment where she isn't in prison or waging a no holds barred custody battle with Jesse over their daughter.

So what do you think? Take the cheating issue out of it because of course that it wrong but is Jesse of his rocker (or chopper)? Who would you prefer the tattoo model or Sandra Bullock? I just can't believe that he was dumb enough to do this... but as Tiger Woods has shown us anything is possible.

-Doc

(Funny thing is there is actually a movie called Vanilla Gorilla coming out next year)

Warren Beatty the New Wilt Chamberlin?

Years ago we all chuckled when Wilt Chamberlin claimed to have slept with over 20,000 women in his auto biography. Well after that magic number was put up there you knew it was only a matter of time until someone would come out with an equally absurd number. That time has come. May I introduce you to the next biggest male-ho ever Warren Beatty. Yes it seems that a soon to be released biography claims that Ole Dick Tracy himself has had sex with 12,775 women. To make it even more grand that number, "does not include daytime quickies, drive-bys, casual gropings, stolen kisses and so on." (BTW - what is a sexual drive-by - Never mind I don't wanna know.) HA!

OK boys and girls lets all get our calculators out. Warren Beatty is 72 years old. So lets figure this. He claims to have lost his virginity at age 20 If he started at then it would give him 52 good years of doing it. This amounts to 245 different women per year (every year) for 56 years. Holy Moly this man gets around!

I'm also sure this comes as a little bit of shock to Annette Bening who he has been married to for 18 years. I think that what happened is this; Ole Warren knows that Tiger Woods was going to make a run at Wilt Chamberlin's record so he wanted to go ahead and stake his claim on second place ahead of time.

Your Thoughts?

-Doc

Tips Obama can take from Tiger

Ummmm I can think of 10 tips that Obama can take from Tiger too and the first one is... DON'T DO ANYTHING THAT TIGER HAS BEEN DOING!!

(BTW - this is an actual Golf Digest cover picture set to go out before the whole 2 am car crash due to 11 mistresses fiasco)

-Doc

Hitting the high Notes 11/11/2009

First of all a big thank you to all our Veterans on Veterans Day. The service you have given can never be fully re payed

Now on with my take on the news:

-So you want to send your kid to Duke University for the quality education huh? How would you feel about your daughter participating in a University funded study on the effects of sex toy parties on students attitudes about sex? As if college students weren't already in enough of a sexually charged atmosphere as it is lets introduce them to sex toy parties! Does anyone else think this might be a bad idea?

-On Sunday a deer got into the lions den at the Washington National Zoo in front of visitors including children and they got a lesson in what the wild is really all about. The deer did put up a good fight for survival and to be fair the lions did not actually eat it.

-It seems like the folks at Kraft foods don't like getting no for an answer. The US Food maker of such treats as Oreos and Miller Beer is making a hostile takeover bid for British candy maker Cadbury. Apparently somebody at Kraft reaaaaaly likes those nasty Creme Eggs.

-Speaking of Candy. Connecticut is experiencing a serious crime wave recently. Instead of robbing banks or liquor stores apparently the serious hard core gangstas in that area are into stealing chewing gum at an alarming pace. Rumor is that the Double mint twins are scared to visit Connecticut for fear of being kidnapped.

-Here is a quote from disgraced former beauty pageant and same sex marriage opponent Carrie Prejean taken from the Today Show :
“There is an extreme double standard that conservative women are under attack for whatever it is,” Prejean told Vieira. “If Sean Hannity went out there and said some of the things that Keith Olbermann has said about me, if he says anything about [Sonia] Sotomayor, Michelle Obama, he would be off the air. Why is there this double standard?" - Ummm Carrie ya know the difference is that Justice Sotomayor is well a like you know Supreme court Justice and Michelle Obama well like umm she is the like First Lady of the US and junk and you well you are a sanctimonious hypocritical former Miss California who thinks that anyone who disagrees with your prehistoric views on gay marriage is out to get you. Trust me if Sotomayor or Obama had made a sex tape they would be much bigger news than you.

-Amazing story here about a teenager who got stuck on an ice floe with three polar bears. He was trapped there for over a day on the freezing ice with them after his snowmobile broke down.... Good thing he had a gun.

-I read today where we had some hikers get arrested for espionage in Iran. The question I had was when did hikers all of a sudden become international spies? Because didn't we just have to send Slick Willy over to North Korea to free a couple of hikers a couple of months ago who got arrested for the same thing? Hiking has gotten kind of a bad rap recently hasn't it? Didn't SC Governor Mark Sanford try to say that he was hiking when he was really really South of the border? Hiking seem to pretty dangerous stuff these days. I guess if you plan to go hiking you better take several kinds of protection with you.

Until Next time...

-Doc

Say it ain't so Sammy....

Wow Sammy is that you? While I was looking through the news yesterday I came across this article that wonders if Sammy Sosa is bleaching his skin. This is actually pretty scary looking check out the shots... Very eerie in a Michael Jackson sort of way. According to Rebecca Polihronis, one of Sosa's friends the picture was taken at the Latin Grammy awards:

"He is in the middle of doing a cleansing process to his skin," Polihronis told the newspaper. "The picture is deceiving. He said, 'If you saw me in person, you would be surprised. When you see me in person, it is not going to seem like the picture.'"

I think that is the way Michael Jackson started too... Hey Sammy Beisbol was berry berry good to you... Please there can't be that much of a "skin cleansing" process that will do that to your face... Maybe Sammy is just still trying to keep up with Mark McGuire. Yeesh.

-Doc

News Shocker .. Britney Spears Lip Syncs!

In one of the most shocking news stories of the weekend it has been confirmed that the Princess of Pop Britney Spears does in fact lip sync and does not perform live in her "concerts"
Now this story was not uncovered by TMZ or Perez Hilton. No snooping paparazzi or $800/hr lawyer brought this revelation to us. Instead it was the Australian government who brought this travesty to light. It seems they have an issue with Spears selling "concert" tickets that don't come with a disclaimer that says she isn't actually singing. Imagine that concert tickets with a disclaimer that it's not really a concert... maybe it's just a performance of some sort. Judging from the picture above maybe there oughtta be some sort of disclaimer on those tickets. YIKES !

(who on earth would pay up to $1300 to see Brit Brit anyway No matter what she was doing ?)

Doc