Happy New Year From YJKOBT

Wishing you and your family a Happy New Year and a great 2010 to come... Everyone have fun but drive safe.
-Doc

Hitting the high Notes - 12/31/09

OK let's close out the year with one final look at some odd news stories I have found in the past few weeks:

-Just had to share this one: Here is a quote from a Charlotte Observer online article about Tara Reid's Playboy Cover. "Um, Tara? We're very sorry about your botched plastic surgery, but we're not sure the way to show the world that you're okay is to be on the cover of Playboy sporting clown boobs and raccoon eyes and looking like you have to pee." HA! Sounds exactly like I wrote it but I didn't. Credit goes to someone named Andrea Reiher.

-You may want to think twice before sending your kid to this daycare. The owners were busted for selling moonshine right out of the area where the kids were kept. They confiscated 86 gallons of the hooch. Oh and by the way the owners say they were set up. Sure you were... You just keep on believing that!

-Nothing terribly exciting in this story about a couple of snatch and grab burglars at our local Tiffany store other than the name of one of the robbers. His name Dean Patrick Griswold. It seems that around Christmastime there is always something going on with the Griswolds. I think when you are blessed (or cursed) with the name Griswold you certainly have something to live up to in life. It seems Dean Patrick certainly is doing his part.

- What should we do to save the environment? Use "green" vibrators of course! The article details how the sex toy industry uses tons of batteries that make toxic waste and so an Irish company tho has created green vibrators. "You just flip out the handle, grab a hold of it there, and you just wind it," said Janice O'Connor, the co-founder with her husband Chris, of Caden Enterprises which makes the gadget.
"So for four minutes of doing that, you should generate enough power to give you 30 minutes of full-on, right-to-the top vibrations," she told AFP.
She added: "I've only used it a couple of times, and it's fantastic. It's very intense, and sometimes, at the top level, depending on the person that's using it, it can actually be too intense sometimes. So ladies, are you ready to switch for 2010?

-Finally another Charlotte story about our local politician idiot Bill James. This guy is famous here locally for his intolerance of others and he may have gone over the top this time. During a County commission meeting where same sex partner benefits were being debated another commissioner whose son had died of AIDS was speaking. After she was finished this guy Bill James had the nerve to ask. "Your son was a homo, really?" At first he tried to deny it but it was caught on tape. I mean for real, no matter what your stance on the matter is that is just plain classless.

OK that's hitting the high notes for now... We will be back in 2010 with plenty of other odd news and morons doing stupid stuff. Enjoy!

-Doc

Out of Order

SORRY BUT YJKOBT is OUT of ORDER TODAY... WE WILL RETURN WHEN DOC ISN'T BUSY AS CRAP AT WORK.... Feel free to comment though if you wish.

-Doc

P.S. - I promise I will get caught up on my blog reading and commenting soon too.

The Best of 2009

2009 brought us some some bright superlatives. Every year I reflect back on the year that was and make a "Best of" list of sorts. This year I thought I would share with you guys.

-Best song I heard for the first time in 2009. Katy Perry - Waking up in Vegas. This one was tough because there were a bunch. Pink's Please don't leave me was good as well as The Black Eyed Peas I've got a feeling. Jimmy Buffett's "Wings" might have been the pick but I am not exactly sure that I didn't hear it for the first time in 09 so I went with the Katy Perry tune.

-Best new time waster/trend - Twitter. Yes I joined the Twitter revolution in 2009 because I like to be connected and in a lot of ways my Twitter friends (you guys) got me missing blogging and brought me back to the fold so to speak. (because sometimes 140 characters just ain't enough)


-Best Concert - Billy Joel and Elton John Face to Face. Not only the best of the year but one of the best of all time. This show was great. Three and a half hours of all the hits from both superstars. My only regret is that I believed the ticket stub that no cameras were allowed and left mine at home. It would have been great to have a few snapshots to keep.

-Biggest news Story - The Death of Michael Jackson. This was not just a huge news story but it just so happened that I was home sick from work the few days following his death so I was even more deluged with coverage than many. Sad story but almost seems like the man died the same way that he lived, Bigger than life.


-Best New Book read - The Lost Symbol - Dan Brown. For all it's hype this story lived up to it. It's not Shakespeare but Brown doesn't sell it as such. This book takes Brown's protagonist Robert Langdon on a harrowing search across Washington DC for the secret to enlightenment that has been held for centuries by the Masons. If you haven't read it's worth picking up. It's better than the DaVinci Code but not quite as good as Angels and Demons.

-Best Movie - Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. How could it possibly be anything else? This movie should have come out in November of 2008 but was held by the company because of the Twilight movie so the two wouldn't come out the same weekend. Instead I had to wait until July for this movie to come out. It was worth the wait. I bought a ticket online (for the first time) and left work for a half day to be among the first to see it. Harry Potter is quite addicting and I can almost bet that 2010's best movie will probably be part 1 of Deathly Hallows.


-Best New TV Show - Leverage on TNT - I discovered this hidden gem by accident this past summer. What a great show. The premise is that a group of 5 talented con-people play Robin Hood and steal from the rich and powerful when they step on little people. The cast is great and includes Timothy Hutton. A new season kicks back in during January and Jeri Ryan gets added to the group. If you haven't seen it give it a look or at least set your TiVo to record a few episodes.

-Best Sporting Event - Florida State at North Carolina on Thursday Night Football - What a great night! I was given free tickets and a parking pass by a friend of my wife's and my buddy Wyatt (a huge NC fan) and I went to the game together. The Seminoles put on a furious second half comeback to stun the overly cocky Tarheel fans who just knew they had the 'Noles beat. I walked out a happy camper that night!


-Best Radio Show - The Candy and Potter Show on 107.9 The Link - Once again the 10am - 2pm show which features a husband and wife team came up with innovative and funny ways to keep current and entertain me at work in 2009. Candy and Potter are not only great on air but do a lot to give back to the community as well. In the coming year things should get even more interesting as the couple recently announced that they are expecting their first child in May.

-Best New Discovery that other people already knew about - TIE between Jimmy John's sandwiches and Crocs. - The Crocs have been well documented here on YJKOBT but I need to take a second to extol the virtues of the best sandwiches around in Jimmy Johns. They are not only fantastic but are not too huge to eat the whole thing. I suggest the #9 (with no mayo and extra tomato) if you like a classic Italian sub. As a matter of fact I plan on having one today for lunch.

So share some of yours with us. What was your favorite new song of the year? TV show? Book? Sporting Event? How about something you discovered that everyone else already knew about? What was your Best of 2009? Speak up and let us know.

-Doc

Weekly Poll - New Years Eve

Hey everyone, It's almost New Years and this weeks poll seeks to find out how you celebrate. Do you go out to a huge party with friends? Do you go to a bar for a celebration? How about just watching the ball drop at home?
My wife and I have our annual tradition with a bunch of our friends that we get together and do a fondue three course dinner. Cheese appetizers, then the meats and veggies, and chocolate for dessert. For those of you who don't fondue this process takes so long that by the time we finish dinner its usually ball drop time!
So how do you celebrate on New Years Eve? Please vote in the poll and make any comments you wish.

-Doc

I know why it's called Boxing Day

Because today is the day I have to find somewhere to throw out (recycle) all these empty boxes that have taken over our house!!
Happy Boxing Day to All !!

-Doc

Merry Christmas from YJKOBT

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and hoping that you can enjoy some time with family and friends today. I hope that Santa was good to you... even if you were naughty this year.

-Doc

Yule Love this Log for your Christmas Fire

Oh how festive and fit for the season! If you don't have a fireplace at home then just pull up YJKOBT on your laptop and you can have a roaring yule log fire to brighten your holiday season!

Enjoy!

-Doc

The Airing of Grievances 2009

To continue a Doc and Mt. Cat tradition in order to wish you a Happy Festivus (if you are not familiar with Festivus Click here) I now present this year 2009's Airing of the Grievances:

- Hey Tila Tequilla - Becoming a surrogate mother will not give you the class that you lack or the legitimacy and respect you crave. Why don't you try and tone down the act just a tiny bit in the coming year huh?

-Oh Kanye - I hope that somebody bigger than you bullies the crap out of you someday and craps on your dream you big punk. Obama tried to but then claimed he was misquoted. Get your head out of your ass dude.

-Carrie Prejean - *Knock Knock Knock* No one cares - Move on, nothing to see here

-Just a note to Michael Phelps... If you are gonna puff puff then make sure the cameras are confiscated first. Idiot.

-The Following is the "What the Eff" Section:

Congressman Joe Wilson - What the Eff ??

Serena Williams - What the Eff??

McKenzie Phillips - What the Eff??

Bernie Madoff - What the Eff ??

Kim Jong Ill - What the Eff ??

General Omar al-Bashir - What the Eff ??

Jon Gosselin - What the Eff ??

Morgan Freeman - What the Eff??

Norm Coleman - What the Eff??

-Chris Brown - here is a tip for ya... It is your fault and you can't blame America for being pissed at you.

-Hey Sarah Palin, thank you for both quitting on Alaska and trying to invent imaginary"Death Panels" It sold you a few books and guaranteed that you will never be elected to the Executive branch.

-Hey US Army - Do you think it might be a good idea not to have someone with radical Islamic views and a proven hostility towards his own employer as a psychiatrist dealing with PTSD? It sounds simple... BECAUSE IT IS SIMPLE!

-Dumb-ass quote of the year: "James Bond is an imperialist, misogynist sociopath who goes around bedding women, swilling martinis and killing people. He's repulsive." -- Actor Matt Damon who plays rival action hero Jason Bourne.

-Glenn Beck - Just because not everyone agrees with you doesn't mean we love America any less than you do AND it doesn't make us idiots.

- To my beloved NY Mets - It cannot possibly be worse that it was in 2009 so you better have gotten all the crap out of the way and be ready to got for 2010. Oh never mind Omar Minaya is still there. And you aren't immune either Carolina Panthers and Florida State Seminoles... you just haven't reeked quite as pungently as the Mets did this year.

- Tiger Woods why are you taking an indefinite leave from golf... Golf wasn't the problem. The screwing all the waitresses and hostesses was what cost you your marriage. Playing golf was probably the safest thing you were doing.

- Hey media - WE GET IT - Michael Jackson is dead... We don't need 24 hour coverage of it!

- I am sure there are others that I can't think of right now but I reserve the right to revise and extend my remarks as needed.

Please feel free to comment on mine or add a few grievances of your own from 2009 and until next year...Happy Festivus !!

-Doc

Always check your child's homework

The assignement was to draw a picture of what you want to be when you grow up and here is what the little girl turned in:


(Here's the reply the teacher received the following day)

Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.
I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.
From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

-Doc

Contemporary Christmas Songs

I'm taking a week off from the poll due to the holiday week but still figured I would post something. So in the spirit of Christmas I figured I would put a little twist on the typical favorite Christmas music post. There are so many classic Christmas songs from the likes of Bing Crosby and Johny Mathis. That's not what I am looking for here. I want rock and roll or at least more contemporary stuff. Just off the top of my head I came up with a list of my favorites:
(I can't promise that the links work since youtube is blocked at work)

The Eagles - Please Come Home for Christmas

The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping


Bruce Springsteen - Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Billy Squier - Christmas is a Time to Say I love You

Adam Sandler - The Hanukkah Song (Not Christmas obviously but still a great tune)

Josh Groban - O Holy Night

and my favorite:

Barenaked Ladies w/ Sarah McLachlan - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

So tell me what are your favorite rock or more contemporary Christmas songs? Lets make a list!

-Doc

2009 College Bowl Game Predictions

College Bowl season starts today and here are my picks for each of the games:

(Prediction in Orange - Correct picks in Green - Incorrect in Red)

Record = 18 - 14 .563

(Please feel free to comment as you wish. Agree with me disagree with me or make fun of my win/loss record)

Non-BCS Bowl Games:

Dec. 19 New Mexico Albuquerque, N.M. ESPN 4:30 p.m. Wyoming (6-6) vs. Fresno State (8-4) - Fresno State

Dec. 19 St. Petersburg St. Petersburg, Fla. ESPN 8 p.m. Rutgers (8-4) vs. UCF (8-4) - Rutgers

Dec. 20 New Orleans New Orleans ESPN 8:30 p.m. Middle Tennessee State (9-3) vs. Southern Miss (7-5) - Southern Miss

Dec. 22 Maaco Las Vegas Las Vegas, Nev. ESPN 8 p.m. Oregon State (8-4) vs. BYU (10-2) - Oregon State

Dec. 23 Poinsettia San Diego, Calif. ESPN 8 p.m. Utah (9-3) vs. California (8-4) - Utah

Dec. 24 Hawaii Honolulu ESPN 8 p.m. Nevada (8-4) vs. SMU (7-5) - Nevada

Dec. 26 Little Caesars Detroit, Mich. ESPN 1 p.m. Ohio (9-4) vs. Marshall (6-6) - Ohio

Dec. 26 Emerald San Francisco ESPN 8 p.m. Boston College (8-4) vs. Southern California (8-4) - USC

Dec. 26 Meineke Car Care Charlotte, N.C. ESPN 4:30 p.m. North Carolina (8-4) vs. Pittsburgh (9-3) - Pittsburgh

Dec. 27 Music City Nashville, Tenn. ESPN 8:30 p.m. Kentucky (7-5) vs. Clemson (8-5) - Clemson

Dec. 28 Independence Shreveport, La. ESPN2 5 p.m. Texas A&M (6-6) vs. Georgia (7-5) - Texas A&M

Dec. 29 Champs Sports Orlando, Fla. ESPN 8 p.m. Miami (Fla.) (9-3) vs. Wisconsin (9-3) - Miami

Dec. 29 EagleBank Washington D.C. ESPN 4:30 p.m. UCLA (6-6) vs. Temple (9-3) - UCLA

Dec. 30 Holiday San Diego, Calif. ESPN 8 p.m. Nebraska (9-4) vs. Arizona (8-4) - Nebraska

Dec. 30 Humanitarian Boise, Idaho ESPN 4:30 p.m. Idaho (7-5) vs. Bowling Green (7-5) - Idaho

Dec. 31 Armed Forces Fort Worth, Tex. ESPN Noon Air Force (7-5) vs. Houston (10-3) - Houston

Dec. 31 Sun El Paso, Tex. CBS 2 p.m. Stanford (8-4) vs. Oklahoma (7-5) - Oklahoma

Dec. 31 Texas Houston ESPN 3:30 p.m. Missouri (8-4) vs. Navy (8-4) - Missouri

Dec. 31 Insight Tempe, Ariz. NFL Net. 6 p.m. Minnesota (6-6) vs. Iowa State (6-6) - Iowa State

Dec. 31 Chick-fil-A Atlanta ESPN 7:30 p.m. Virginia Tech (9-3) vs. Tennessee (7-5) - Virginia Tech

Jan. 1 Gator Jacksonville, Fla. CBS 1 p.m. West Virginia (9-3) vs. Florida State (6-6) - Florida State

Jan. 1 Capital One Orlando, Fla. ABC 1 p.m. Penn State (10-2) vs. LSU (9-3) - LSU

Jan. 1 Outback Tampa, Fla. ESPN 11 a.m. Northwestern (8-4) vs. Auburn (7-5) - Auburn

Jan. 2 International Toronto ESPN2 Noon South Florida (7-5) vs. Northern Illinois (7-5) - South Florida

Jan. 2 Cotton Dallas FOX 2 p.m. Oklahoma State (9-3) vs. Mississippi (8-4) - Oklahoma State

Jan. 2 Papajohns.com Birmingham, ESPN 2 p.m. Connecticut (7-5) vs. South Carolina (7-5) - Connecticut

Jan. 2 Liberty Memphis, Tenn. ESPN 5:30 p.m. East Carolina (9-4) vs. Arkansas (7-5) - Arkansas

Jan. 2 Alamo San Antonio ESPN 9 p.m. Texas Tech (8-4) vs. Michigan State (6-6) - Texas Tech

Jan. 6 GMAC Mobile, Ala. ESPN 7 p.m. Central Michigan (11-2) vs. Troy (9-3) - Central Michigan

BCS Games:

Jan. 1 Rose Pasadena, Calif. ABC 4:30 p.m. Oregon (10-2) vs. Ohio State (10-2) - Oregon

Jan. 1 Sugar New Orleans, La. FOX 8:30 p.m. Cincinnati (12-0) vs. Florida (12-1) - Florida

Jan. 4 Fiesta Glendale, Ariz. FOX 8 p.m. TCU (12-0) vs. Boise State (13-0) - TCU

Jan. 5 Orange Miami FOX 8 p.m. Georgia Tech (11-2) vs. Iowa (10-2) - Georgia Tech

Jan. 7 BCS Title Pasadena, Calif. ABC 8 p.m. Alabama (13-0) vs. Texas (13-0) - Alabama

Wow this is very Innapropriate

I was just going to add this story to an addition of "Hitting the High Notes" but after giving it a re-read I figured it deserved an entire post of its own. Ok so I was reading this article about a billboard in New Zealand showing Mary and Joseph in bed together. The billboard is trying to draw attention to "alternate theories of Jesus' birth" by showing the apparently no longer Virgin Mary in bed with Joeseph during a post coital moment. Mary is looking upwards and Joeseph looking forlorn as if he wasn't able to perform adequately and uses the following caption. "Poor Joseph. God was a hard act to follow." As if God actually had intercourse with Mary and was a good lover and Joseph couldn't measure up.


Oh wow, how inappropriate is this? I can understand that there are alternate theories to how Jesus was conceived and how his life, death, and resurrection are portrayed in the Bible and throughout Christianity but throwing this in the face of believers in the form of a billboard is just wrong. In my opinion it's not being used "to challenge stereotypes about the way that Jesus was conceived and get people talking about the Christmas story." as vicar, Archdeacon Glynn Cardy of St. Matthews Anglican Church claims. It's being used for it's shock value and it's ability to draw anger from believers. I am a Christian who considers myself pretty open and accepting of other religious views but this one goes too far for even me to tolerate so I had to post it here. Maybe I can use it to start a discussion.

So I would love to hear what you guys think? Is this billboard just a way to get a discussion going? It is just for shock value? Is it blasphemous? What do you think? Please keep it civil though folks...

-Doc

Thursday Random thoughts 12/17/2009

Stuff I have been thinking about:

-Yesterday at lunch I decided to have a treat instead of water and got an egg nog milkshake from Jack in the Box and let me tell you folks this thing was flat out yummy! I know that people fall into love or hate on the whole egg nog thing but oh my gosh you have to try one of these. It's great, very thick though. You will have to let it melt a little bit before trying to drink it through the straw. Probably not the most healthy thing you will ever have though.

- Am I the only one who doesn't like to go to CNN.com anymore now that they have changed their format?

- I will bet you that I have gotten an e-mail from Jockey.com every day since Thanksgiving promoting some sort of sale or something. Now I have never bought anything from this website and probably never will but after investigating a little further they have an account and password in my name and typical password that I use for other things like amazon or Ebay. Like I said I have NEVER bought underwear over the Internet and I wonder how I got an account at Jockey.com ?

-Here is a travesty for you. ABBA was just elected to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. That in itself isn't the travesty. Now we can debate whether or not ABBA is really rock and roll or if they deserve to be in the hall of fame but there should be no debate about this. KISS was once again rejected for election to the hall and that is a travesty! Say what you want but I will bet you Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons are pissed that the hall "took a chance" on ABBA and left KISS unable to "rock and roll all night and party everyday".

-Hey parents, Any hints on keeping a two and a half year old from playing with the ornaments on the tree?

-Interesting Stat counter search note of the week. Someone from Atlanta Georgia routinely checks our blog monthly searching for Jennifer Wilbanks from the same IP address. Remember her?

- Interesting search note # 2. (and this is not a joke) Someone from Wasilla, Alaska General Communication found our blog by searching for Sarah Palin. Seriously. Nahhhh It couldn't be her. She won't be caught dead in Alaska anymore now that she has gotten her ticket out.

-Do you all remember that disaster that was supposed to happen to computers on Y2K? Well of course it never really materialized. Well we are about to pass another milestone in a few weeks to 2010. I wonder if the computers are ready for it or if just maybe they have been dormant since they failed in their attack on Y2K and they are going to rise up and get us on Y2K + 10?

-Doc

Awsome Christmas Decorating Idea

I saw this idea for a spoof on Christmas lights and just had to post it... Hilarious. This guy set this up to look as if his ladder fell out from under him while he was stringing up the lights! Read the caption below. I ought to do this at our house:

Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my
Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after two
days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories,
but two things made me take it down.

First, the cops advised me
that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove
by.

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost
killed herself putting it against my house and didn't realize that it was fake
until she climbed to the top (she was not happy).

By the way, she
was one of the many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn't take it
either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my
yard.

Merry Christmas !

-Doc

YJKOBT Christmas Pageant 2009

We here at YJKOBT are happy to present as our Christmas gift you you this Holiday season our Christmas Pageant. Based on everything that has happened this past year we have attempted to bring an all star cast to portray the Manger nativity scene. So here as our we proudly present the cast for this years Christmas Pageant as only YJKOBT can do it:

Portraying Mary the Blessed Mother of Jesus we have Sarah Palin. A perfect symbol of pure holier-than-thou-ness who also seems to have already had some experience with pageants as well as the immaculate conception and virgin birth. Sarah will take some time out of her book tour make a fine Virgin Mary and besides we tried to get Angelina Jolie but she was busy abroad adopting another child and trying to save the world in other ways.

We thought about Joseph and who could possibly be better than Barack Obama to portray Jesus' father? Even though he really wanted to play the Savior instead we cast him for Joseph. Obama will make a great Joseph because who else can better portray having a big presence in the story but really not having a heck of a lot of control of the outcome? Besides we already have one Joseph (Biden) in the White House who does nothing. Might as well make it two.

Now who shall we get to play our glorious Christ Child in YJKOBT's Christmas pageant? Well Falcon Heene of course! Our little balloon boy is perfect! Who better to act out what happens to a kid suddenly thrust into a spotlight that he wasn't ready for? (Let's just hope that he doesn't puke on our stage)

Every Christmas pageant has an Angel Gabriel who announces to the frightened shepherds that The Savior has been born. We didn't have to look far to cast this one because already singing with the angels (maybe) is Michael Jackson. He already has the costume picked out and you can best believe it has plenty of sequins. The King of Pop will portray the Angel Gabriel and will be accompanied by an entire stage of heavenly hosts including Taylor Swift, Miley Sirus, The Jonas Brothers, and Susan Boyle. Oh yes we go all out here at YJKOBT.

Cast as the shepherds who were watching their flocks by night are Robert Pattinson, Adam Lambert, and Kanye West. These three all had years worthy of being cast for various reasons although Adam and Robert are really concerned that Kanye is gonna steal the spotlight.

Following those poor shepherds of course are sheep. We were inundated with requests to be in the play and had to limit the number of sheep we could cast. Out of all the requests we settled on the following sheep who have been underexposed in 2009 and really need the exposure: Kim Kardashian, Megan Fox, Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan, Brittney Spears, and Carrie Prejean. After finishing the casting we had to reconsider and add another sheep as well. We added Amy Winehouse since not only does she need the exposure but she is certainly close to death now that she is 27 and the YJKOBT pageant just may be her final performance.

To continue we looked at the characters of the Three Wise Men. When we cast David Letterman, Gov. Mark Sanford, and Tiger Woods (just missing the cut was John Edwards) as our Christmas wise men we decided that the concept would be reversed. In our pageant these three will be known as Dumb, Dumber, and Just Plain Stupid. The three idiots. And you wondered why the wise men traveled from afar without their wives? I think we know now.

Bringing the idiots on their long journey of course are camels and once again we had to narrow the list from a ton of qualified candidates who wanted to make our play. We settled on the most dromedary like characters we could find. Making the cast were Keith Olberman, Bill O'Riley, Sean Hannity, Jay Leno, and Conan O'Brien. Jimmy Fallon would have been cast here but we were afraid that his 2009's trend would continue and nobody would come and watch.

Last but not least we had to fill out the stage with the animals gathered around the manger. The oxen and the asses. We found no shortage of able bodied people willing to fill these roles. Cast as the oxen and the asses this year are Perez Hilton, Bernard Madoff, Chris Brown, and Jon Gosselin.

So what do you think? How will this cast perform? Is there anyone we missed that deserved casting? Please as always your comments are welcome and we would love to hear your thoughts.

Merry Christmas everybody!!

-Doc

Christmas Cartoons - Weekly Poll 12/14/2009

I'm continuing the holiday theme this week with the poll. Last week we found out that YJKOBT readers prefer artificial trees to real ones. Even though live trees made a late week comeback they were no match for the fake ones.
This weeks poll is about Christmas cartoon specials. I picked out what I think are the most popular and made the poll. Which is your favorite? Do you like Rudolph or Frosty? How about Charlie Brown? My personal favorite is the Grinch. Watched it on Tivo just last week with my son for the first time. I just love the sneaky Grinch and his little dog.
Which of these is your favorite? Please vote in the poll and of course comment and defend your choice. Let me know if there are any of your favorites out there that I have forgotten.

-Doc

Tips Obama can take from Tiger

Ummmm I can think of 10 tips that Obama can take from Tiger too and the first one is... DON'T DO ANYTHING THAT TIGER HAS BEEN DOING!!

(BTW - this is an actual Golf Digest cover picture set to go out before the whole 2 am car crash due to 11 mistresses fiasco)

-Doc

Patrick's First NFL Game

We were able to take Patrick to his first NFL game this past Sunday. The Carolina Panthers vs the Tampa Bay Bucs. IT was very cold and windy but we all bundled up in our cold weather Panthers gear and went to the stadium. Patrick absolutely loved it. He enjoyed the game, the food, the people, and of course we won! Here are a few pics:

In the stands

Trying to shoot the wrapper off his straw. Check out the cool new hat!

Of course we had to get a pawprint tattoo on our face!

Father and son (in the sun) FYI. My gut is not that big, I had spare diapers and wipes in my sweatshirt kangaroo pocket

TOUCHDOWN ... WOOOOOO !!!

I love that kid so much and can't wait to take him to more games!

-Doc

Thursday Random Thoughts 12-10-2009

Stuff I have been thinking about:

-Miley Cyrus' song "Party in the USA" actually hurts my ears. I used to like her music a little bit but this one almost sounds like it was recorded in a tunnel and then run through a synthesizer or voice changer. she kind of sounds like Max Headroom (remember him?) Gimme Taylor Swift any day.

-What kind of socks do preppy pirates wear? Arrrrrglye.

-Sweet! 10,930 text messages last month... A new record! I want to thank Facebook and Twitter for helping me to achieve this honor... but I bet I can break it next month.

-I am actually a little bit surprised that so many people have voted in the poll that they have artificial trees fro Christmas. I know it's not a large sampling but I figured that more people would prefer "live" or "real" Christmas trees but know the artificial trees are kicking butt in the poll. See that you learn something every day.

- I made the mistake of trying to take my two and a half year old to Concord Mills to do some Christmas shopping on Saturday. I won't do that again.

-Oh Man Butter Rum Life-Savers sure are yummy!

-As much as huge terrible news stories are exactly that, terrible they do tend to captivate and hold our public attention. I know someone who is hoping and praying that something big comes along soon. Tiger Woods. Because I have heard it said that the only person in America glad to see 911 happen was Congressman Gary Condit. Remember him?

-BTW, if you are a celebrity who has a mistress or two and it's gonna come out anyway you might want to just go ahead and get it out in the open while Tiger is hogging the spotlight. Odds are good you won't get as much attention. Just a helpful tip.

-Newly installed Charlotte North Carolina Mayor Anthony Foxx was a classmate of mine at West Charlotte High School. He was a year ahead of me. It's not like I hung out with him or anything but he is a good guy and will be a solid leader for Charlotte. How scary is it that somebody my age is the mayor though?

- Why do they call it a "perm" or "permanent" if you are just going to have to get it re-done in about a month or two?

-Looking forward to getting home this afternoon because my copy of the new Jimmy Buffett album "Buffett Hotel" should be waiting for me. Great album with new songs including a great one called "A lot to drink about." I have heard most of the songs on satellite radio but am really looking forward to listening to it in its entirety.

- Walk to 100 update: So far 15.2 miles down and 84.8 to go. My progress has been slowed by the weather but I am plugging on. I will reach my goal of 100 miles by April the 14th.

-Doc

Merry Christmas from Darth Vader Claus

DARTH VADER CLAUS WANTS TO WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE DARK SIDE... HO HO HO !!
-Doc

Public Apology

Those of you who have been reading YJKOBT from the beginning will remember that I regularly used to talk junk about and make fun of anyone who wore Crocs. Included in that bashing was this post from March of 2008 where I actually lead off my Random thoughts with this sparking gem:

-If any of you all ever see me wearing "Crocs" you have my permission to slap me
upside the head.

Well ladies and gents it's time to line up and get your slaps in because I have seen the light. I have been changed, transformed, recreated! I was torn down and rebuilt as a full fledged Croc wearer. (as pictured above taken last night) I offer my very public apologies to the other Croc wearers out there. I was wrong and I admit it.

My mother in law decided that I needed a pair of Crocs for my birthday and so she purchased the above pair of official FSU Seminole Crocs for me. I smiled and said a polite thank you when I opened them but figured they were more of a novelty than anything. That was until I put them on. These are the most comfortable laying around shoes you can imagine. I have always been a flip flop wearer but folks these crocs are more comfortable than flip flops.

Don't get me wrong I only wear them around the house. As a matter of fact I don't believe this pair has ever left my property. However I like them so much that I am asking Santa Claus to bring me a matching pair of Carolina Panthers Crocs for Christmas! So don't judge me to harshly because I have been converted to the Croc side of the force. You do have permission however to slap me upside the head.

-Doc

Christmas Trees - Weekly Poll 12/7/2009

Ho Ho Ho, the season is upon us. Like it or not Christmastime is here. Last week the poll topic was about travelling for the holidays and it seems that most folks plan on staying close to home this year for Christmas. This week I figured I would ask about Christmas Trees. We haven't gotten ours yet but will this weekend. Our family always gets a live tree (and I shudder to think what would happen to me if I dared mention an artificial one) but many folks choose to celebrate with a fake tree. Heck artificial trees are probably safer and are certainly "greener."
So what does your family use? Real live tree? Artificial? or something else all together? Vote in this weeks poll and make any comments/arguments below. Poll will be open all week.

-Doc

Hitting the high Notes 12/4/2009

Things I have read in the news recently that I thought might interest you:

-How would you like being adopted and later finding out that your father is Charles Manson? As someone who was adopted I figure that my reaction would be just about as strong as poor Matthew Roberts did. Yikes!

-You say that you don't know who Sarah Henderson is? Well I didn't either until I read this article. It seems that Sarah's daddy Fritz is newly resigned (or fired) CEO of General Motors and she is really not happy about it. And I mean really. What was her response? She took to facebook and posted a profanity laced tirade that would make Richard Pryor proud on GM's own fan page! Give it a read it's hilarious and sounds just like a spoiled teenage girl ranting. I think she is even trying to be funny by using the word 'shift' in an interesting way. Either that or she was drunk and can't type. Which is possible too.

-Apparently raging bulls injured people on the set of Tom Cruise's new movie being filmed in Spain. The Spanish government has shut down filming citing safety concerns. My question is this. Since when is Spain concerned about safety when bulls are running loose and have they ever thought about shutting down Pamplona?

-Here is a local story from Charlotte, NC about a new high school they will be building. What is so odd about this you ask? Well there is a huge controversy because of who they want to name the school after. No they aren't trying to name it after Jesse Helms, this school is meant to honor a principal named W.A. Hough Jr. who was instrumental in the integration of the schools. The controversy come in with parents who are worried that that their children will be made fun of because their kids may be going to "Ho High." Even though this Principal's name is pronounced "Huff." Seriously people get a life.

-Wanna see Paula Deen get hit in the head with a ham?

-OK wrapping things up with a story of small town corruption. Nothing newsworthy here you say? I say dig a little deeper. Remember back to 1994 when Susan Smith claimed that a black man kidnapped her two children when in fact she had drowned them in a lake? The case was national news and one of the main figures was Sheriff Howard Wells who basically broke the case and got Susan to confess. He was hailed as a hero at the time. Oh how times have changed. It seems that the good sheriff is in trouble with the feds for among other things tax evasion. And I always thought he was a good guy.

Until next time... keep reading the news!

-Doc

Vince's Yule Time Rant '09

Well folks as our holiday season is upon us filled with joy, sentiment and maxed out credit cards, I want to share with you my festive thoughts and feelings as my gift to you with a big fat red bow tied on top.

Yes the Christmas carolers are out and about with jovial voices and runny nosed children chanting holy splendor. But I never get that gushy feeling when a chorus of little pre-teens get together to form a spiritual cluster of octave cheer. It is not the fact that I dislike the tone of 20 odd high pitched little brats singing off key. It is because of how these parents think I am SUPPOSE to feel about them.

‘Oh look, that’s our little Darthaniel singing ‘Oh Come All Yee Faithful’. Isn’t he just so precious and talented?’

‘That’s our wholesome Fawnette; warbling the bars of ‘Silent Night’. Ain’t she just sublime? Didn’t we raise such a swell little girl?’

These parents needs to take the first space shuttle back to the planet earth. Really now folks your offspring are not that special! Yeah yeah they are somewhat cute and I guess they make me all furry inside but he is not Mickey Rooney and your daughter is not Judy Garland…unless she drinks spiked eggnog then maybe she is.

And please do not make it worse by dressing your son for school in a little suit with a five inch snare drum. Your kids version of ‘The Little Boy’ makes me cringe more than when David Bowie teamed up with Bing Crosby. Pa rum pum pum pum THIS!

Look these imps have enough pressure with school work, friends and their Guitar Heros. So stop getting ideas that they will be on TV as ‘America’s Next Superstar Cherub’. Let your grommets run free and don’t expect them to sing in front of Uncle Bill and Auntie Janis on Christmas day. Believe me they will hate you for it and make you pay when you are old and feeble. Don’t mess up your kids more than you were after your second divorce.

But I digress.

This Christmas time should be a period to bring together our personal finances for the greater good of gift giving. And what symbolizes that Madison Avenue icon of presents more than Santa Claus! With that Little Debbie crumbed beard and the Maker’s Mark breathe! What better patriotic symbol do we have in our U.S. of A? The fat man of every shopping mall in America. Well I have a message for these Ed Wood quality thespians: Act like Santa Claus and that’s it! Nothing more! Do not stretch the character! You are NOT going to win an Academy Award up there on that plywood & Styrofoam stage.

'To Ho Ho Ho, or not to Ho Ho Ho? That is the question’. There is no way Santa Claus can pull of Shakespeare!

These children are five and six years old; they are more scared of you than entertained! Stop with the method Santa Claus ok you Robert De Niro wannabes!

Now if you really are an actor and this is the only gig you can get, well then I really think you should start to reconsider another career path.

And if you MUST spruce up your Kriss Kringle do it right. Stop OVERACTING! You are Saint Nicholas, not Saint NICHOLAS CAGE!

I guess I really have to except these faux Santas because they are here to stay. But what really needs to stop are those annoying bastard chipmunks!

Alvin, Simon and who is the other one? I think his name is Road Kill.

Really I am in a Kmart and then I hear piercingly over the load speakers: ‘Chwismus, Chwismus, twime is near, twime fur twoys and twine for chweerrrrrrrr’.

UGH!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!! THE HORROR!!

I suddenly have visions of one of these disease infested forest rats in the torture scene from ‘Reservoir Dogs’!

Can’t you see Mr. Blonde cutting Alvin’s ear off? Now that would be great TV! ‘The Quentin Tarantino Christmas Special’

This will be the darkest Christmas entertainment since ‘The William Shatner Christmas Album’.

But I’m no sadist.

I just think we’ve lost the holiday spirit in a gapping hole of want and need. We are bombarded by commercial ads of useless junk that I’ll forget about come January.

And please ask me what I want for Christmas before you buy me something!

‘Thanks Aunt Ethel! I always wanted an electric hairbrush!’

‘Darling you shouldn’t have! Rambos 1, 2, 3 AND 4. This makes my DVD collection complete!’

‘Grandma. How on earth could you afford to buy me a talking alarm clock on your fixed income?’

Please I’d prefer a Chia Pet and be done with it.

But really for me the best part of the holiday season is snow. I love that white powder. And not because IT IS snow. I love snow because so many people despise snow.

I get a kick out of people who get depressed this time of year because they hate the cold. Well guess what? You live in New York. It is December. It gets cold in New York in December!! Why are you so surprised EVERY year? I know it sucks but you make it worse on yourself by complaining about it. Move to Southern California if 30 degrees is soooo bad. My holiday experience is happier when you are cold and blue. To me this is my kind of jolly cheer. I pray for two feet of snow and 5 degrees Fahrenheit with high winds. It makes me laugh and feel better about myself when you shiver and whine. Keep it up.

So let’s accept the snow and frolic & dance in a white covered Central Park! It should be a happy time! No matter what you have or don’t have. That is the real spirit of Christmas! With chestnuts roasting and five or six or seven Brandy Alexanders. Let us all throw snow balls at the children carolers and rejoice!

Happy Holidays to everyone and a healthy 2010!

I love you all,

Vince

Thursday Random Thoughts 12/3/2009

Stuff I have been thinking about:

-It still amazes me that someone would name their kid Blanket.

-I am probably the last person in the world to realize this but my goodness the Beyonce video for "Single Ladies" is amazingly hot!

- I guarantee that if myself and another guy were discussing a woman's chest in the way that two female co-workers were discussing Taylor Lautner's chest in New Moon the other day we would be written up for sexual harassment. The words drool and bite were each said at least twice.

-It's been awhile since anyone has heard anything about OJ Simpson. Something tells me that the Brown and Goldman families both said they were thankful that the Juice is finally behind bars when they sat down for Thanksgiving dinner.

-Interesting Stat Counter note of the week: Our blog was actually linked to the Huffington Post this week for our blog post on Celebrity body parts that you may or may not want. Pretty sweet! We got a few hits from it including one from Saudi Arabia.

-While driving through the state of Maryland the other day I was reminded that for some reason that state just smells bad. Kind of like lower South Carolina. Yuck, glad I don't live there.

-While changing my son's diaper recently I realized exactly how much of a sponge he has become. Apparently he has been spending too much time with his 6 year old cousin because he
was chanting something that sounded strangely like "Yo Ho Ho, I'll kick your butt!" over and over again.

- Have you ever wondered why they call it Miracle Whip?

-I don't like Adam Lambert as a singer or performer. I never have and probably won't. I also have nothing against homosexuals or gay marriage but hey Adam don't try and say that because I say that I don't like your singing or performances that I'm prejudiced or homophobic. People still have the right to like or dislike whatever they want to in this country. Get over yourself, you are only trying to sell your album anyway.

-It's been getting dangerous recently to see what people are willing to do just to land a gig on a reality show. First we had the whole Balloon Boy fiasco and now we have these idiots gate crashing at the White House. This craze has gone past silly and has gotten downright serious. I hope they make an example of these idiots and that the Secret Service takes the clue and tightens up their security as well.

-Oh Tiger Tiger Tiger, you have really stepped in it this time. Not that it's right but you have to realize that as a high profile person that the second things go south people will turn on you and sell you out for a few bucks from TMZ or the National Enquirer. You know better than this and I hope you work things out with your wife. Make this a valuable lesson and also hire yourself some better PR people.... And don't leave voice mails and text messages for hoochies either.

-Doc

A True Legend Steps Aside

The terms legend and legendary are thrown around an awful lot. In some cases their use could be debatable but I defy anyone to dispute the fact that Bobby Bowden is a true legend in the world of college football. On Tuesday Coach Bowden agreed to retire from the program that he built at Florida State after the year ending bowl game and in doing so will close the book on perhaps the greatest coaching career in the history of college sports.


Please don't let recent academic problems and a few down seasons tarnish the reputation of the man who turned FSU from an also ran to a feared national champion. Bobby Bowden is a great coach, a fantastic leader, and mentor to his players but he also set an example as a man of faith for all to admire. He should be remembered as such.
For those who may only want to look back at the past few years of on the field performance let me refresh your memory of a few things:

• Second winningest coach in major college football history with 388 career coaching victories
• The only coach in the history of Division I-A football to compile 14 straight 10-win seasons (1987-2000)
• Coached the Seminoles to consensus National Championships in 1993 and 1999
• His 1999 National Championship team is the first in college football history to go wire-to-wire as the Associated Press' No. 1 ranked team
• Set NCAA records with 11 consecutive bowl victories (1985-95) and 14 straight bowl trips without a loss (1982-95)
• 12 ACC Championships since the school joined the conference in 1992
• Ranks first among active coaches for winning percentage in bowl games and has led the Seminoles to 27 straight bowl games - the longest current streak in the nation
• Has guided FSU to 30 bowl appearances in 33 seasons, including 27 straight
• Since 1993, Florida State has played in the national championship game five times (1993 Orange vs. Nebraska, 1996 Sugar vs. Florida, 1998 Fiesta vs. Tennessee, 1999 Sugar vs. Virginia Tech, and 2000 Orange vs. Oklahoma)
• Since the inception of the BCS in 1998, FSU has reached one of the BCS bowl games six times
• Patriarch of the first father-son duo to lead Division I-A programs, let alone to lead them at the same time

These superlatives only begin to scratch the surface of the impact on the game that Coach Bowden has had. He was an innovator who was not afraid to take his Seminoles anywhere to play anyone anytime but I bet he will be remembered most for his charm, wit, and his insistence on doing things his way. The "Bowden Way". Coach Bowden you will be missed on the sidelines and in the lives of all the young men who you were a father figure to during all those years. A statue (like yours that my son and I are pictured in front of) is not enough recognition for all you have done. On behalf of Seminoles everywhere we say thank you for all you have done throughout the years. There will never be another. Thank you Coach.

-Doc