To continue a Doc and Mt. Cat tradition in order to wish you a Happy Festivus (if you are not familiar with Festivus Click here) I now present this year 2009's Airing of the Grievances:
- Hey Tila Tequilla - Becoming a surrogate mother will not give you the class that you lack or the legitimacy and respect you crave. Why don't you try and tone down the act just a tiny bit in the coming year huh?
-Oh Kanye - I hope that somebody bigger than you bullies the crap out of you someday and craps on your dream you big punk. Obama tried to but then claimed he was misquoted. Get your head out of your ass dude.
-Carrie Prejean - *Knock Knock Knock* No one cares - Move on, nothing to see here
-Just a note to Michael Phelps... If you are gonna puff puff then make sure the cameras are confiscated first. Idiot.
-The Following is the "What the Eff" Section:
Congressman Joe Wilson - What the Eff ??
Serena Williams - What the Eff??
McKenzie Phillips - What the Eff??
Bernie Madoff - What the Eff ??
Kim Jong Ill - What the Eff ??
General Omar al-Bashir - What the Eff ??
Jon Gosselin - What the Eff ??
Morgan Freeman - What the Eff??
Norm Coleman - What the Eff??
-Chris Brown - here is a tip for ya... It is your fault and you can't blame America for being pissed at you.
-Hey Sarah Palin, thank you for both quitting on Alaska and trying to invent imaginary"Death Panels" It sold you a few books and guaranteed that you will never be elected to the Executive branch.
-Hey US Army - Do you think it might be a good idea not to have someone with radical Islamic views and a proven hostility towards his own employer as a psychiatrist dealing with PTSD? It sounds simple... BECAUSE IT IS SIMPLE!
-Dumb-ass quote of the year: "James Bond is an imperialist, misogynist sociopath who goes around bedding women, swilling martinis and killing people. He's repulsive." -- Actor Matt Damon who plays rival action hero Jason Bourne.
-Glenn Beck - Just because not everyone agrees with you doesn't mean we love America any less than you do AND it doesn't make us idiots.
- To my beloved NY Mets - It cannot possibly be worse that it was in 2009 so you better have gotten all the crap out of the way and be ready to got for 2010. Oh never mind Omar Minaya is still there. And you aren't immune either Carolina Panthers and Florida State Seminoles... you just haven't reeked quite as pungently as the Mets did this year.
- Tiger Woods why are you taking an indefinite leave from golf... Golf wasn't the problem. The screwing all the waitresses and hostesses was what cost you your marriage. Playing golf was probably the safest thing you were doing.
- Hey media - WE GET IT - Michael Jackson is dead... We don't need 24 hour coverage of it!
- I am sure there are others that I can't think of right now but I reserve the right to revise and extend my remarks as needed.
Please feel free to comment on mine or add a few grievances of your own from 2009 and until next year...Happy Festivus !!
-Doc
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