Thursday, December 20, 2007

The Airing of Grievances (Doc's)

Ok, in the great tradition of Seinfeld Vin and I celebrate Festivus (here is a link for those not familiar) each year. Vin has a party complete with a pole and we go through all the holiday essentials. Here we will share one of these with you. It's called the airing of grievances. Here we will list all the things that got under our skin, made us mad, or generally ticked us of this past year:

Shane's Grievances:
(the following ticked me off in 2007)

- Anna Nicole Smith and that stupid Judge in the case over her body Larry Seidlin

- The leading news story on the day my son was born was Paris Hilton being pre-maturely released from jail and then put back in the slammer.

- The worst TV commercial on earth is for a crappy website called that makes it seem that the only way your daddy will spend time with you and get you a puppy is if you subscribe to their sub par product

- Nobody believed me that Michael Vick was a big ole turd of a human being until this year, and sadly some still don't.

- Why was Rodney King still in the news in 2007?

- It stinks that we all know who Richard Jewell was for the wrong reason when he died earlier this year.

- The following people really annoyed me in 2007: (in no particular order) Rachael Ray, Nancy Grace, Robb Thomas of Matchbox 20, Tom Tancredo, Lindsay Lohan, Both Don Imus and Al Sharpton, Kanye West, Dick Cheney, OJ Simpson, Miss Teen SC USA, Donald Trump, George Bush,Tim Tebow, Rudy Giuliani, Whoever invented Head On, Ann Coulter, Terrell Owens, Al Gore, Fidel Castro, Sanjaya Malakar, Mike Nifong, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Bill O'Reily, Karl Rove, Rosie O'Donnell, Larry King, Ellen DeGeneres and that stupid dog named Iggy

- Even though I am sure it's good for the environment I am sick and tired of hearing about "Going Green"

- Wal - Mart (the closest thing to the Third Reich in America)

- The furnace in our house that was working just fin when we turned it off in April but somehow broke 2 expensive parts during it's period of non-use until November.

- The hype over PS3, Wii, I-Phone, and Halo 3 (BTW- the hype over Harry Potter is worth it)

- Why the heck is Survivor still on the air - No one has watched that show since they were in Australia how many years ago?

- The coverage that the media gives to individuals like the Virginia Tech shooter that encourages other unstable people like the Omaha Mall shooter to do things "to make it big" - Shameful

- MRSA staph infections and lead laced paint in toys from China

- My sports teams: NY Mets managed the biggest end of season collapse in history, The Carolina Panthers season = down the drain when Jake Delhomme had to have Tommy John surgery, Florida State continued to stroll down the avenue called mediocrity, and Jeff Gordon managed to score more points than any driver EVER has in a 36 race season and still get beaten for the championship.... Here's to a better 2008 for all of them.

- Is it just me or is there anyone else out there who wishes that the UF campus police had tasered Andrew Meyer until his hair had fallen out and skin turned black. That dude's 15 minutes should have been up a long time ago.... and now YALE has given him the quote of the year honor.... Yeesh.

- Senator Larry Craig's steadfast admission that he isn't gay... Uh buddy no one really cares if you are or aren't gay (except maybe some homosexuals whose rights you consistently vote against) just stop with the lies about what went on in that bathroom stall. Who the heck uses a nasty airport restroom like that anyway unless its an real emergency and if it's an emergency then who is taking notice of the others in the stalls around them??? No one thats who... By the way, whether you are gay or not if you are peeking into bathroom stalls at an airport you have bigger problems than keeping your senate seat.

- Teenage girls who pronounce words with that valley girl accent... example when they pronounce the word pants like they are saying the word "wants" ie. ponts... ya'll know what I mean.

- Dora the Explorer and Go Diego Go. Our kids should not have to learn Spanish to live in our own country and both these cartoons express that opinion... AND I am pretty sure that the monkey boots is actually the same voice as Diego. Frauds I tell you... FRAUDS!


The AbsolutGator said...

Let's go through these one by one:

Anna Nicole - The only thing that comes to mind is a quote from Heathers, "Dear Lord, why did you have to kill such hot snatch?" (This only applies to her Playboy/TrimSpa months, not the E! fat slob years.)

Paris Hilton - I feel for ya on that one Doc. - Bad, but I'm much more tired of seeing the commercials for the at-home business websites.

Mike Vick - You're right that I didn't think he was as big a turd as you thought. Only because I believe he is a bigger turd than you think.

Rodney who?

Richard Jewell - No wonder I hate liberal, mainstream media.

List o' Doc annoyers - Well, I'm not gonna go through each one (especially since I'd have to agree on most of them), but...why Tebow? Just because he led UF over FSU in an ass-kickingly way and won the Heisman as a sophmore? Al "I can't believe I'm getting people to buy into the global warming hoax" Gore and the foreign leaders listed, I can agree with.

Going Green - Great concept, but too expensive and builders aren't getting much of a call for it residentially or commercially. Trust me, I deal w/ builders for a living.


Your furnace - STBY my friend! Don't need 'em down here in sunny (most of the time) Florida.

Game systems - Fun to play, but is leading to the obesity problem in kids and leads to too many adult children; average age of a gamer is 33. As Shatner said on SNL, "Get a life!"

Survivor - Even stranger, Big Brother is still on the air.

Liberal media - American casualties in Iraq, never hear the end of it. We kick ass in Iraq, you never hear it. If I didn't have to check weather and traffic in the morning, I'd never watch it.

Importing goods - There used be a term used by Americans, "Japan it." Used to be that if a product said "Made in Japan" it was a piece of crap. All they did was slap shiny black paint on it to make it look good. I look forward to a day that "Made in USA" is the standard once again (pipe dream, maybe).

Sports - If Gordon was going to lose it to anyone, I'd want it to be JJ. My teams have sucked, except for the Gators (although the Blackhawks are doing okay this far). I'm glad we don't have the problems you got in Tallahassee.

A. Meyer - Tase the stupid, media-whore again! Again! Again! I didn't say stop.

Larry Craig - Could care less. However, that incident has taught me to not tap my feet to a tune stuck in my head while taking a crap in an airport restroom.

Pronunciation - I swear, the next time I hear someone say 'aks' instead of 'ask' I'm gonna rip their tongue out. Evidently they have no use for it.

Spanish Cartoons - We don't have room for more than one primary language. Learn it or keep your mouth shut and dig some ditches.

People Doc missed:
Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid - Do I need to explain?

Brit/Lindsey/Paris/Nicole/Jamie Lynn and the channels/magazines that just won't stop sensationalizing them - Thanks for making my job of raising a good daughter that much harder!

Anyone woman that is going to vote for Hillary because she is a woman - You are a waste of T&A.


Dougberg said...

Believe the hype on Halo 3 and Harry Potter. Both are really enjoyable.

Why no love for Rachael Ray?

Sigh on FSU's academics right now.

Stupid media, enough said.

Anonymous said...

Doug - Rachael Ray shortens words that shouldn't be shortened...Very Annoying

Anonymous said...

When are we going to see 'Survivor: Compton'?