Thursday, December 20, 2007

Vince's Airing of Grievances

10 people I can do without in 2007 and beyond (In no particular order):

1. New York (Tiffany Pollard) from the VH1 reality show ‘I Love New York’. Just when I thought you could not lower the intelligence scale than Flava Flav’s reality show ‘Flava of Love’, this chick New York lowers the bar even farther below sea level. I have now learned never under estimate the under estimated!

2. Anderson Cooper of ‘Anderson Cooper 360 Degrees’. Why are you popular? Are you gay? Are you not gay? Or more importantly do you have any originality other than about 50 odd other newscasters on your soap boxes???.....Oh yes… you have white hair. I forgot….never mind. Yes in that case you are different. . But let me ax ya? If Anderson Cooper sucks and you spin him around 360 degrees, doesn’t he still suck?

3. Randy & Jason Sklar from ESPN’s ‘Cheap Seats’. Identical musing twins. How adorable. You characters were also the ONLY unfunny moments in the TV show ‘Entourage’ this past season. Your shtick is shtick-less.

4. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of the Islamic Republic of Iran. Also known as محمود احمدی‌نژاد. You have more meaningless opinions than Curt Schilling and more of an ego than Charles Foster Kane. I don’t know what your ‘Rosebud’ was when you were a boy but seriously dude, relax and try hugging a Jew…or at the very least a gay man. You will fell better in the long run.

5. Jimmy Kimmel, late night TV host. Uh huh…ok…....hey Jimmy? …I’m waiting for you to say something remotely funny!…….Yup I guess your girlfriend Sara Silverman wears the pants in this relationship! She is at least mildly amusing when she has sex with Black God.

6. Bob Saget, reformed role model father. Bob your anti-Full House persona was funny for about 3 jokes. Seriously dude cut it out. Stop saying the word fuck for the sake of saying the word fuck. You are a nice guy. Just deal with it! And you have suddenly given Stamos and Coulier some street cred. Yikes!

7. Led Zeppelin, rock god. Yes I said Led Zeppelin! Hey fellas please go on tour or don’t go on tour. Stop keeping us on the fence! Otherwise, put silver haired Jimmy Page and his Cello bow back in his sarcophagus. It hurts to toy with my emotions.

8. Sub-Prime Mortgage Reps. R.I.P. my friends. I’m sure you can get jobs in Gaffney, South Carolina selling 135% above value loans to the locals. Best of luck.

9. McDreamy, also known at Patrick Dempsey of the TV hit drama ‘Grey’s Anatomy’. I am happy you are a sex symbol. But where were these so called ‘fans’ when you starred in the ’80 TV hit ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High: The Series’? Have some standards dude!

10. Al Gore, World Activist. I think Al Gore is the first person ever to win a Nobel Peace Prize by simply uttering the words: ‘Hey, we are really fucked!’ Congratulation Al! And please say hi to Tipper for me too.

- The Mountain Cat

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

But Anderson Cooper's mom is Gloria Vanderbilt... and her grandaddy built the Biltmore house... that's why he is relevant.

schleif said...

Nice list, Mountin' Cat. Nice to see someone celebrating Festivus (for the restivus) these days. I'd add all the celebutarts to the list (LaLindsey, Paris, etc.). Enough already!

RadioFreeG said...

Hi there. I found out about your blog through the posting you made to Google Groups.

I was caught by the mention of FESTIVUS! I really like your list of people that cheesed you off in 2007. I'm also of the opinion that this "celebrity culture" in North America is way overblown, and Anderson Cooper takes himself too seriously.

I have placed a link to your blog on my blog at radiofreeg.blogspot.com. You are listed at the bottom of the right-hand column with other blogs as "Celebrate FESTIVUS with DOC and Mountain Cat".

Please check out my site, listen to a show or two, and place a link on your page. Thank you, and happy blogging.

Dougberg said...

New York is terrible. Enough said.

The Bob Saget special on HBO was good for about 3 seconds. It was a waste of time, IMO.

Soundwave said...

You know, I caught that Bob Saget HBO special, and I totally agree with you 100%. His jokes have no punchline, just a stream of crude comments.

Lest you think I'm some sort of prude, Eddie Murphy "Delirious" is some of the funniest stand up comedy I've ever heard.

Keep up the good work!