Things bouncing around this head of mine. 4/23/2008

- I just found out what Rickrolled means. Apparently this new term was coined on this past April Fools Day.
Rickrolling, per Urbandictionary.com means:
'To post a misleading link with a subject that promises to be exciting or interesting, e.g. "Yankee highlights" or "Paris Hilton blows Busta Rhymes" but actually turns out to be the video for Rick Astley's debut single, "Never Gonna Give You Up". A variant on the duckroll. Allegedly hilarious.' Example video: Brad Pitt naked.

- My ears were stuffed up for some reason recently so I went to a professional Otolaryngologist. The doctor noticed that Madam Tussaud had taken up residence in my ear cancel. He removed her and now I hear great! It is a religious experience and everyone should get it professionally done. However, I now hear TOO well. The last time I got my ear cleaned was in 1995 when I lived in the quite mountain town of Boone, NC. Now I live in Manhattan; the noisiest place in the world. But it still feels better than it did before so should not complain.

- In grammar school we used to say 'You think you're hot shit in a wine glass but you really are just cold diarrhea in a paper cup!' Consider yourself dissed! UGH!

- Someday I want to start a radio station that will play every song ever made in alphabetical order. Wouldn't that be cool?

- Someday I want to write a daytime soap opera and call it As the Freudian Slips. It would go something like this: 'Janet, I just love your breast...ah...I mean dress'. That is the only idea I have so it probably would not last past the pilot.

- Why is it that Ozzy Osborne is one of the rare rock stars where I can understand every word he is singing but I can't understand a single word he says when he talks in a regular conversation. I guess it is one of those unexplained oddities of the world like how it is aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly with wings smaller than their bodies yet somehow they do. Or how Ric Ocasek got Paulina Porizkova....I guess it is just one of those bizarre unknown anomolies of the world ....Ok I've gone off on a tangent....I forgot what my original point was....

- When I was 9 years old my grandmother was baby sitting me one evening and she was watching a horror film on TV. Then she fell asleep and left me all alone watching this movie that scared the shit out of me! I do not remember the title of the movie. All I remember from the film is a darken room with a fireplace where an old woman said to someone 'It is Carlos! They burnt him to a crisp. Feed him to the dogs.' Then that someone opened up a backdoor where he dropped a big garbage bag with the dead body inside of it next to some Rottweilers. I cannot for the life of me find out the name of that movie. I thought it was Burnt Offerings but then I bought the DVD. It wasn't the film. Now I ordered online the original Omen movie with Gregory Peck. I don't that is it either but we shall see. If anyone knows what this movie is, please please let me know!

- One of my biggest pet peeves is when I am walking down the street or in a mall and someone walks next to me coughs really loud. Spppeeewww dude or dudette! Please do that in a bathroom. This happens to me all the time. Ugh, I hate it.

- Another big walking pet peeve of mine is when I am walking down the street or in a mall and I see someone standing to the left or right ahead of the straight line I am walking. 9 times out of 10 I can predict that this dude or dudette will walk right into me. Sure enough, when I get within less then a foot of that person, he or she doesn't even look at bumps into me or I have to swerve and miss bumping them! Sppppeeewwww man or wo-man, watch where you are going! It happens to me constantly like I was a magnet or something.

- OK for all you National Hockey League fans and broadcasters, there is only one Stanley Cup! Not pluralcy. Please stop saying something like 'Mark Messiah has won six Stanley Cups'. Wrong, wrong, wrong! The correct phraseology is 'Mark Messiah has won the Stanley Cup six times' or 'Mark Messiah has won six Stanley Cup Championships.' Please? Thank you.

- I see on IMDB.com that Viggo Mortensen is starring as Edgar Allen Poe in a film biopic. Sylvester Stallone is the director of all people! So that inspired me to come up with a Friday's Top Ten List of Unreleased Edgar Allen Poe Stories. However I could not think of too many as it was really hard and I did not want to torture you all to come up with funny comments. I did think of the following; 'The Tell-Tale Elbow'. 'Winnie the Poe & other Children Stories'; 'Nevermore: The Raven Cookbook'. 'Opium for Dummies' .... I dare you to come up with another one.

- I work at the same office for 10 years in fancy midtown Manhattan. My office is near all these glamorous stores. Gucci, Prada, Salvatore Ferragamo, Fendi, etc. I have gone into all these stores a total of zero times in 10 years.I just can't afford their prices so why even browse?

- The cheapest ticket I found online for the final game ever at Yankee Stadium on September 21st is $268. Should I buy it?

- I wonder if there is a woman in the world named Fallopia?

- The best gift I got for my birthday was a re-gift. At my birthday party, my friend Walter handed me a gift bag with an opened metal box of Curve Cologne, Ode de Toilette and Body Wash. The bottles were not opened though. As he handed me the bag he said 'Happy birthday. I got this gift from someone else a while ago but I never used it. It was at the back of my draw. Enjoy.' Well hell! I didn't even expect a gift from him but I love the smell of Curve! Plus I saw this same gift tin box at Macy's it is a $75 value! Wow thank you Walter!

- Once a month or so I order Chinese food from a place near my office that I have always called 'East-Ocean Dragon'. Well I walked past there today and noticed it is only called 'East-Ocean'. How did I add Dragon to the name??

- There are a lot of bus advertisements for the new film called Baby Mama staring Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. However, they have airbrushed away the scar off Tina Fey's left cheek in the ad. Why?? Everyone knows Tina Fay has that scar. So why airbrush it out? I wonder how she feels about it?

- Speaking of Tina Fey, she is still my Top Five List of Women I Wish to Marry Someday. My new list consists of Eva Green, Danica Patrick, Leah Remini, Tina Fey, Katherine Heigl. It is also the first time Alyssa Milano has not been on my list since before she became a character on Melrose Place. I have finally given up on her.

- Finally, my co-worker Leap O'Faith, who sits right behind me, plays her radio every day and listens to the Top 40 stations. Everyday I have to hear that new annoying John Mayer song 'Say' where he repeats 50 times 'Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say. Say what you....AHHHHH!!! Shut that bloody radio off!!!!!

- The Mountain Cat