Nik Wallenda

I suppose I should give my congratulations to
Nik Wallenda for his World Record bicycle high wire act live on the Today Show this morning. (video)

However, I still remain unimpressed!
Really now, what's the big deal?
It wasn't dangerous enough in my opinion.

So Nik if you are reading this, I offer the following suggestions for your next stunt:

- Ride the bike across the wire with a
rabid, in-heat wolverine on your head.
Now that would be impressive!
or,
- Eat six bean burritos & laxatives an hours before the stunt. Have a toilet attached to the seat and then ride across the high wire.
Now that would be impressive!
or,
- Ride the bike at full speed and jump over David Blaine who is lying still on the wire for 3 days in another one of his own stupid stunts.
Now that would be impressive!
or,
- Ride across the wire on a two seater bicycle with your mother-in-law on the back seat as she is yelling at you about what a loser her daughter married because you never got a real job.
Now that would be impressive!

But Nik I guess you've already decided that your next stunt will be to walk across the Grand Canyon on a high wire next spring. I am still unimpressed. Unless of course a bunch of desert vultures see you and start to hover a few inches above your head in anticipation to munch on your maimed carcass.
Now that would be impressive!

- The Mountain Cat