Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Nik Wallenda

I suppose I should give my congratulations to
Nik Wallenda for his World Record bicycle high wire act live on the Today Show this morning. (video)

However, I still remain unimpressed!
Really now, what's the big deal?
It wasn't dangerous enough in my opinion.

So Nik if you are reading this, I offer the following suggestions for your next stunt:

- Ride the bike across the wire with a
rabid, in-heat wolverine on your head.
Now that would be impressive!
or,
- Eat six bean burritos & laxatives an hours before the stunt. Have a toilet attached to the seat and then ride across the high wire.
Now that would be impressive!
or,
- Ride the bike at full speed and jump over David Blaine who is lying still on the wire for 3 days in another one of his own stupid stunts.
Now that would be impressive!
or,
- Ride across the wire on a two seater bicycle with your mother-in-law on the back seat as she is yelling at you about what a loser her daughter married because you never got a real job.
Now that would be impressive!

But Nik I guess you've already decided that your next stunt will be to walk across the Grand Canyon on a high wire next spring. I am still unimpressed. Unless of course a bunch of desert vultures see you and start to hover a few inches above your head in anticipation to munch on your maimed carcass.
Now that would be impressive!

- The Mountain Cat

8 comments:

Sunshine said...

Oh! Totally! Run over David Blaine. What a loser.

The Mountain Cat said...

You're right Sunshine! He should attach 'Chinese stars' to the bicycle wheels and bludgeon David Blaine to death so we never have to hear from him again.

Micky-T said...

How about if it wasn't a tight rope, but a loose rope? He'd have to ride downhill really, really fast and peddle his way up to the other side.

Doc said...

I am with you... This guy and David Blaine need to team up for stunts!

Disaster Chick said...

People seem to do anything for their 15 minutes of fame.

Karen said...

Rough crowd. I have special fondness for David Blaine. He is a local boy gone big time.

The Mountain Cat said...

Jersey in the house!

Bina said...

Ha Ha Ha! This may be one of the funniest things you've had on here for a LONG time! I especially like the mother-in-law one.