The incredible tale of Lucky the koala

Ladies and gents meet Lucky. Lucky is a koala who was recently named Australia's luckiest marsupial after a heck of a wild ride. It seems that poor lucky got hit by a car recently and got his head wedged in the car's grill and was dragged at 60 mph down the road for about 8 miles. Lucky survived because another motorist flagged down the oblivious driver and was then rescued by being cut out of the grill by scissors.
"To have him survive and virtually unscathed is quite miraculous," Australian Wildlife Hospital spokeswoman Carolyn Beaton told Reuters.
Now if that had been all of the story it would have been great and a happy ending but they had to take the story one step further and kill poor Lucky's joy. The last sentence of the story reads as follows and I promise I am not making this up:
Lucky will stay at the hospital, set up by the late television wildlife and crocodile crusader Steve Irwin, for 45 days to recover from his experience and receive treatment for a chlamydial infection.
Now why did they have to do that to poor Lucky? He barely escapes with his life and not only does he have to go to some crocodile hospital but the news has to report that the poor guy has a STD. Why did they have to throw him under the bus like that? (I know poor metaphor right) Couldn't they just leave well enough alone without pointing that fact that ole Lucky apparently got lucky with the wrong lady koala? What's next? Is he going to need therapy to recover from the trauma of having his business splashed on the front page? Or is he going to end up in rehab after getting addicted to the painkillers? Oh well, I guess poor Lucky just can't catch a break.

-Doc