New-Age Political Correctness

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America; Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.' You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore...

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' -- She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She is not 'EASY' -- She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' -- She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' -- She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you -- She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE !'

6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' -- She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' -- He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' -- He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' -- He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' -- He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL A$$' -- He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

What other PC terms can you come up with?

-As American as Apple Pie