Monday, May 12, 2008
New-Age Political Correctness
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America; Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.' You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' -- She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.'
2. She is not 'EASY' -- She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' -- She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'
4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' -- She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'
5. She does not 'NAG' you -- She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE !'
6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' -- She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' -- He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' -- He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'
3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' -- He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'
4. He is not 'BALDING' -- He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL A$$' -- He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
What other PC terms can you come up with?
-As American as Apple Pie