Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The Worst St. Patrick's Day Ever...

Here I will reprint a previous post entitled "I woke up and I was walking" - It deserves a re-read. This is Mine and AbsolutGator's version of "The Hangover" where I had to call his mom and report that I had lost him. Couldn't find any pictures from that trip but here is one of us from just prior to a Jimmy Buffett concert in 02. Looks like Absolut is trying to show me how to smoke something. (look how thin we used to be)

You guys have heard a bunch of stories about Mt. Cat and I causing trouble. Today I am going to tell one on our buddy Absolutgator and explain why I will never willingly to go to Savannah, Georgia again.St. Patrick's day 1996. I was living in Columbia, SC at the time and a former roommate of mine (and Mt. Cat's) Paulie, my buddy Absolut and I decide that we are going to accept an invitation I had of a place to stay in Savannah Georgia for what is supposed to be the largest St. Patty's party outside of Dublin. Absolut and Paulie meet me in Columbia and along with a girl I worked with at the time named Angela we all pile into a rental car and get on the road. We decided that I would drive down there because I knew where I was going and so I wouldn't have to drive later that night.

On the trip down Absolut starts to drink a few so by the time we get to Savannah he is in full gear. This is where we meet Kelly whose place we are to stay at and her friend whose name I can't remember.It's going to be party time. Angela doesn't drink and agrees to drive us all home. Excellent lets go party. Well as it turns out Kelly and her friend had been having a few before we got there and her friend ended up passing out and not going downtown with the rest of us. Kelly was in bad shape too but we all set off to go to downtown Savannah for this huge party anyway.

During the ride Kelly is all over my hugging me and loudly whispering stuff in my ear and generally being very annoying. Absolut was very annoying too by playing with the radio and at one point tuning in an AM station that was just static. We were trying to find a place to park and it was really getting on Paulie's nerves. All he wanted was a few beers. After a few trips around the party section with no success in finding a spot to park and the drunks yelling Paulie and I had finally had it. We told Absolut and Kelly to get out of the car and assigned Angela to watch them and meet Paulie and I at the corner bar as soon as we could park. Of course we then found a space right away.

Now Paulie and I are really ready to party. We park and get out and head to the closed off bar street area where the party is to meet our friends. We weren't away from them 15 minutes, that's all. We show up at the appointed location and see Angela but no Ablsolut and no Kelly. We ask her where they are and she points to a bar. Wait right here for us and we will go get them! So Paulie and I wade into this mass of humanity and realize after another 10-15 minutes that we have no shot at finding them in this place we are going to have to wait for them outside and catch them as they leave. Fine, I want a beer.

Paulie and I get beers from a street vendor and decide to wait for them, because by this time Angela had disappeared too. Since we are at the arranged meet up site they would have to show up sooner or later right? Half an hour goes by... an hour goes by... Nothing. Keep in mind this was before everyone had cell phones all over the place and all we had was the phone # for Kelly's place and my directions there as well as the car keys. We started to get a bit concerned since we hadn't found anyone so we decided to call Kelly's house. We get her friend who is now awake and informs us that Kelly took a cab home and left us there. Where is Angela and where is Absolut? Who knows?

It's now 10:30 at night and we decide to go back to Kelly's house because at least Angela has the phone # and will wait for her call. Well she calls on our way there and says she is at "A very scary motel at the corner of JFK and Gardens, but there are two nice guys taking care of her." now starting to get really worried and fully sober Paulie and I go and pick her up and she tells us what happened. After they got out of the car Kelly and Absolut went into the bar and then Paulie and I went in after them. Apparently I just missed Kelly because she came out and took a cab home. Ok fine, no everyone is accounted for except Absolut. When was the last time she saw him? "Oh I was watching him and he picked up an empty keg and tried to throw it at a cop," she says in a very matter of fact manner. Are you kidding me? Please don't tell me that my buddy got arrested in Savannah, Georgia on St. Pattys day... We may never get him out.

Being good friends Paulie and I go to the police station and get the very rude desk Sargent to go through the 117 arrest records from that night and no Absolut. Wheew that was one little bit of good news but still has us no further to finding my one of my best buddies. What are we going to do? Well about 2 am we decide that we will walk over the town until we find him. We start with the party area. Going through the alleys and park benches where drunks are asleep and passed out and worse. We walked from one side of Savannah to the other. We walked until it got light outside. We did not find Absolut. We did find my cousin who happened to be there on break from school and said hi to him. We walked until 10 am when we decided that we had been about as good a friends as we could be and Absolut was a grown up and may have to find his own way home.

We had one option left and it was the option that I was dreading. We could call Absolut's mom. I did not want to be the one to call up and tell her that we were in Savannah Ga and misplaced her son, but I had no choice so I went ahead and made the call. She was not easy on me but after owning up that I was here and Absolut was not she told me that he had called her an hour before and he was at the bus station getting a bus ride back to Columbia. We found him just before he was going to board his bus. We asked him where the heck he been and what had done. He said he couldn't remember a whole lot (go figure right). He did have a pretty decent answer when I asked him when he realized that he was really lost. His quote to me was, "I woke up and I was walking."

I don't care what the enticement is, I don't ever want to step foot in Savannah, Georgia again for any reason and certainly never again on St. Patrick's day.

-Doc

20 comments:

The AbsolutGator said...

Doc, how could something you derive so much enjoyment in retelling be the 'worst' of anything?

BTW, I weigh about 15 lbs. less now than in that picture. The only thing skinny about me in that pic are my arms and legs from not working out.

Doc said...

Dude... You don't remember it. Thats why. You were "walking" - BTW I did fail to mention that you were being followed by a stray dog half the time!
Plus what happened after we found you? you promptly went to sleep in the car on the ride home and I had to stay awake to keep Paulie awake. Dead tired and feet with tons of blisters from looking for you in puke filled alleys...

(It is a great story though... and I love to tell it)

Karen said...

A few friends were talking about going to Savannah for St Patty's and I thought about this story. I is great story and that quote "I woke up and I was walking" is classic.

The AbsolutGator said...

The best (or worst) part about the dog was that it kept walking out in the street and people kept honking at it/me. One guy yelled, "Get your f'n dog out of the road!" I of course yelled back, "Its not my f'n dog." I may have thrown some colorful adjectives onto the end of that to express how I felt about the drive-by yeller.

3 Men and a Lady said...

Ha ha, that's great. Some nights are better left un-remembered.

The AbsolutGator said...

I don't remember throwing the keg...thank goodness.

I immediately called Doc after seeing The Hangover to tell him he would have deja vu from the opening scene. He did.

The AbsolutGator said...

One other thing Doc didn't tell:

I got to the bus station and got the ticket about 15 minutes before it was to depart. I was starving and asked if I had time to get a bite to eat before boarding. The ticket agent said yes, so I went to a BK that was inside the bus terminal. While waiting on my cheeseburger, I hear Doc yell my name.

Thanks goodness for the slowest BK I've ever been to!

Doc said...

So true, just like the Hangover... "Um Mom Absolut.... We lost Chris."

HAHAHAHAAA!!

Doc said...

That and for some reason you had my sunglasses in your pocket...

Southern Belle said...

Definitely looks like you were being taught how to smoke a little something and maybe Gator should have kept the stray dog…sounds like he kept up with him better then you.

Dianne said...

I'm trying to remember a St Pat's party where I didn't wake up walking

I can't remember

then again I can't remember a lot

The Mountain Cat said...

I wish I was there...

HalfAsstic.com said...

that was an awesome story! I feel slightly hungover just reading it! ;-)

The AbsolutGator said...

If this ends up as the script for The Hangover sequel, I'm gonna be pissed! Hollywood has already stolen one of my life stories and put it in film!

Matt-Man said...

Ha...Good stuff, of course if it was me I'd want to go back just to see if I could top it. Cheers Doc!!

Just me... said...

Never do St Patty's in Savannah or Marti Gras in NOLA with more than one other person you care about.. Oh, you can do them both with tons of "friends", just as long as you don't care whether they get back home or not!! :):)

Christine said...

Marched in that parade in 2003 following my son's marching band who was invited to participate. Pushed my daughter's stroller decorated with green ribbons in pouring rain. By the time it was done the ribbons were soggy, the baby was shivering and I was hating Savannah too!

Disaster Chick said...

Great story!

I had federal training during the 2004 New Orleans Mardi Gras. My then boss was on this trip - he is a very by the book kind of guy whose nuts about his wife.

I had a very angelic looking guy (about 5 foot 10, almost white blonde curly hair, early 20s) come up to me and asked "do you want to touch nipples?"

Chandra said...

As long as you didn't end up with a baby and tiger in your room then it couldn't have been all that bad, lol!

Loosing someone, a drunk someone is no fun. Believe it or not I've been there and done that but at least we all lived in the same town!

Oh if you knew then what you know now....

terri said...

Crazy stuff! Why did we think we had so much fun when we were younger? It just seems like so much work now.