Monday, March 17, 2008

"I woke up and I was walking"

You guys have heard a bunch of stories about Mt. Cat and I causing trouble. Today I am going to tell one on our buddy Absolutgator and explain why I will never willingly to go to Savannah, Georgia again.

St. Patrick's day 1996. I was living in Columbia, SC at the time and a former roommate of mine (and Mt. Cat's) Paulie, my buddy Absolut and I decide that we are going to accept an invitation I had of a place to stay in Savannah Georgia for what is supposed to be the largest St. Patty's party outside of Dublin. Absolut and Paulie meet me in Columbia and along with a girl I worked with at the time named Angela we all pile into a rental car and get on the road. We decided that I would drive down there because I knew where I was going and so I wouldn't have to drive later that night. On the trip down Absolut starts to drink a few so by the time we get to Savannah he is in full gear. This is where we meet Kelly whose place we are to stay at and her friend whose name I can't remember.

It's going to be party time. Angela doesn't drink and agrees to drive us all home. Excellent lets go party. Well as it turns out Kelly and her friend had been having a few before we got there and her friend ended up passing out and not going downtown with the rest of us. Kelly was in bad shape too but we all set off to go to downtown Savannah for this huge party anyway. During the ride Kelly is all over my hugging me and loudly whispering stuff in my ear and generally being very annoying. Absolut was very annoying too by playing with the radio and at one point tuning in an AM station that was just static. We were trying to find a place to park and it was really getting on Paulie's nerves. All he wanted was a few beers. After a few trips around the party section with no success in finding a spot to park and the drunks yelling Paulie and I had finally had it. We told Absolut and Kelly to get out of the car and assigned Angela to watch them and meet Paulie and I at the corner bar as soon as we could park. Of course we then found a space right away.

Now Paulie and I are really ready to party. We park and get out and head to the closed off bar street area where the party is to meet our friends. We weren't away from them 15 minutes, that's all. We show up at the appointed location and see Angela but no Ablsolut and no Kelly. We ask her where they are and she points to a bar. Wait right here for us and we will go get them! So Paulie and I wade into this mass of humanity and realize after another 10-15 minutes that we have no shot at finding them in this place we are going to have to wait for them outside and catch them as they leave. Fine, I want a beer.

Paulie and I get beers from a street vendor and decide to wait for them, because by this time Angela had disappeared too. Since we are at the arranged meet up site they would have to show up sooner or later right? Half an hour goes by... an hour goes by... Nothing. Keep in mind this was before everyone had cell phones all over the place and all we had was the phone # for Kelly's place and my directions there as well as the car keys. We started to get a bit concerned since we hadn't found anyone so we decided to call Kelly's house. We get her friend who is now awake and informs us that Kelly took a cab home and left us there. Where is Angela and where is Absolut? Who knows?

It's now 10:30 at night and we decide to go back to Kelly's house because at least Angela has the phone # and will wait for her call. Well she calls on our way there and says she is at "A very scary motel at the corner of JFK and Gardens, but there are two nice guys taking care of her." now starting to get really worried and fully sober Paulie and I go and pick her up and she tells us what happened. After they got out of the car Kelly and Absolut went into the bar and then Paulie and I went in after them. Apparently I just missed Kelly because she came out and took a cab home. Ok fine, no everyone is accounted for except Absolut. When was the last time she saw him? "Oh I was watching him and he picked up an empty keg and tried to throw it at a cop," she says in a very matter of fact manner. Are you kidding me? Please don't tell me that my buddy got arrested in Savannah, Georgia on St. Pattys day... We may never get him out.

Being good friends Paulie and I go to the police station and get the very rude desk Sargent to go through the 117 arrest records from that night and no Absolut. Wheew that was one little bit of good news but still has us no further to finding my one of my best buddies. What are we going to do? Well about 2 am we decide that we will walk over the town until we find him. We start with the party area. Going through the alleys and park benches where drunks are asleep and passed out and worse. We walked from one side of Savannah to the other. We walked until it got light outside. We did not find Absolut. We did find my cousin who happened to be there on break from school and said hi to him. We walked until 10 am when we decided that we had been about as good a friends as we could be and Absolut was a grown up and may have to find his own way home.

We had one option left and it was the option that I was dreading. We could call Absolut's mom. I did not want to be the one to call up and tell her that we were in Savannah Ga and misplaced her son, but I had no choice so I went ahead and made the call. She was not easy on me but after owning up that I was here and Absolut was not she told me that he had called her an hour before and he was at the bus station getting a bus ride back to Columbia. We found him just before he was going to board his bus. We asked him where the heck he been and what had done. He said he couldn't remember a whole lot (go figure right). He did have a pretty decent answer when I asked him when he realized that he was really lost. His quote to me was, "I woke up and I was walking."

I don't care what the enticement is, I don't ever want to step foot in Savannah, Georgia again for any reason and certainly never again on St. Patrick's day.

-Doc

P.S. 4:00 update - It seems that my trip to Savannah actually could have been worse. Check out this news story about what happened there this past weekend.... Yeesh

32 comments:

The Mountain Cat said...

Doc, I heard this story a million times and it still shocks me. Poor Absolut.
Oh and for the record, The Mountain Cat was going to go to Savannah but I had previously bought tickets to see a minor league hockey game in Roanoke, Virginia with some other friends. But I wished I had gone to Savannah because I bet, if I was there, you would have never have lost Absolut!
You see what bad things can happens when I'm not around???

Doc said...

There are plenty of other details to the story too. I think I will let Absolut tell some of them if he wishes. Like where he ended up walking too and what was with him... LOL!

Here are a couple. First I was really really ticked off because 1 I had just bought a new pair of loafers that weren't broken in yet and I ended up walking around the back alleys of Savannah for 9 hours in them with huge blisters and second Absolut had taken my sunglasses so when the sun came up I had nothing.

Leighann said...

Poor Absolut!

I've been to Savannah GA, and have my own reasons for not wanting to go back.

Doc said...

Oh yeah... We also checked the hospitals and yes even the morgue for ole Absolut. thank goodness he wasn't there either. :O

Oh yeah Vin... remember before the trip I was really mad that you weren't coming and I was like.. FINE we will have a lot of fun w/o you!!!

The Mountain Cat said...

I just walked to the St. Patrick's Day Parade since it is near my office. There sure are a lot of drunk Irish people out there....oh wait that's redudant. (just kidding)

The Mountain Cat said...

Doc, But do you remember St. Patrick's Day 1995 when we met some of my friends at Belmont Abbey? My friend Rob comes up to us at 2am with that springy shamrock Martian ear thing on his head and slurred 'Havepp-ppy Sa' Pahtrucksss Da-da-day'. Then Doc you turned to me and said 'See Vin this is why I don't like St. Patrick's Day'. Too funny.

Doc said...

I used to hate St. Patrick's day.... and that Belmont Abbey trip and the Savannah trip just re-inforced that hate...

The AbsolutGator said...

Where? From one end to the other! I ended up by the base which is no where near downtown. To make it worse, I get this mangy-ass dog following me around. It was probably waiting for me to die and eat me. The worst thing was the cars honking at me when the dog would wander into the street. One guy yelled for me to get my dog out of the road. I yelled back, "F--- you! It ain't my f---ing dog!"

Doc said...

Of course I am really not allowed to hate it anymore....

Doc said...

BWAWAAAAYAAHAHAHHAHAAAAAA !!!!!

That is my favorite part of teh whole trip... Absolut was being followed by a stray dog... He was so drunk that this dog was following him thinking that he would keel over... and the dog about got him beat up... HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA !!!

THAT IS FUNNY RIGHT THERE!

The Mountain Cat said...

Absolut, OMG that's hilarious!!! But didn't you fall asleep on a park bench hugging a keg too?
And WHY were you throwing a keg at a police officer????

Doc said...

I don't think he remembers throwing the keg. Angela told us that the street vendors were throwing the used kegs down the stairs to the hurricane cellars between the stores to get them out of the way and Absolut went and got one... A cop saw him and gave him a dirty look and Absolut half threw half pushed the empty keg at him and the cop laughed at him. Then Angela told the cop she didn't know who he was and got out of there. Apparently this all happened while Paulie and I were looking for him inside the bar. It's not that big an area so the only reason we didn't see him was that there were like 100,000 people there

Single In The City said...

WOW!! Poor Absolut! I would not go back there either if I were yall.

Have a great week, doc thanks for stopping by!

Karen said...

lol. Poor Absolut is right.

I have gone to the St. Patty's in Savannah. Great time. It sort of compares to Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

Doc said...

Poor Absolut ?? How about poor ole Doc and Paulie who ended up walking all over Savannah forever and didn't get to party?


(at least we didn't have a stray dog following us) Bwahahhaa!

The Mama Bear said...

So, how do you celebrate St. Pat's after that debacle of an evening?
That is a classic line though.

The Mountain Cat said...

Doc,
Did you and Paulie bump into Forrest Gump by any chance?
Or is that who your cousin is?

Doc said...

TMC, We didn't see Forrest Gump, however Jenny did live in Savannah. I think she might have been Kelly's friend who passed out.

The Mountain Cat said...

Doc,
Actually you were Forrest Gump in this situation:
'Absolutgator was my best good friend.'

Knight said...

Thank God we have cell phones now.

Doc said...

Vin... Did that make Paulie Lt. Dan ?

---------
You are 100% correct Knighty ! Of course he proably wouldn't have answered it...or that dog would have gotten it.

Jay said...

This reminds me too much of some guys I went to college with. I remember one Sunday afternoon, another dude and I sat them down and explained that were weren't the keepers and we had had enough of being their antics when they got drunk.

It was always something similar to what you just described. We always felt obligated to go find them or keep them from getting into a fight or whatever.

Good times man. Good times. ;-)

The Mountain Cat said...

Top St. Patrick sayings that sound sexual but really aren't:

1. Wow you have a big shalaylay!
2. He is so Gayleck.

Anndi said...

I'm a good drunk friend. All my buddies have to do is take my clothes off, put my jammies on and let me sleep it off.... sheesh!

Poor babies having to traipse (how the hell DO you spell that) around Savannah at all hours!!

Bad Gator! (Can you see me standing there with one hand on my waist and my finger wagging at him? Impressive eh!?)

Micky-T said...

Aww Doc, you were being the good guy, and we all know where they end up!
But just think, now after all this time, it's YOU who has the laughs and the memory of a story you can tell over and over with a gut wrenching laugh of the good old days!
Thank Absolute for coming in to remind you of the stalking dog, forget about your new loafers!

Jahooni said...

i never have gone out on this day. I am sipping a screwdriver that I mixed with green food coloring as I type this. Oy Vay. Sad, isn't it?
But stories like these make me glad that I stay home while all the drunks are out roaming the streets Saying "Pinch Me, Kiss Me.. I am IRISH...": when in fact they are Italian or whatever. Burp. I am feeling my green punch already! Cheers!

FSUSarah said...

This year's St. Patty's was all jacked up to begin with b/c the Catholics changed the date.

Friday was awesome and probably one of the better times I've had living in Savannah. I was not downtown Saturday night b/c I don't do night crowds downtown. But I did get a bit freaked out when the tornado sirens started going off.

Shane et al, you would have a better time here if I was your host. This city is really one of the best places I've ever lived.

Christine said...

Classic drunk story. You boys be careful now, ya hear?!

Bina said...

Oh my gosh. Your poor friend! How did he get to the bus station? That is one scary story, cause it could happen to any of us!

And yea, lights out, in Georgia, kinda rings a bell??? LOL That would be my luck. Go somewhere like that and the freaking lights go out.

The AbsolutGator said...

Just because I came out of my black out walking, doesn't mean I was thinking well yet. After wandering aimlessly around knocking on doors of apartments that kind of looked like where we were earlier in the night, it dawned on me to go to an ATM, get cash, get a cab, and go to the bus station to get home. So thats what I did.

By the time I got to the bus station and got my ticket, I had 15 minutes before the bus left for Charlotte. So, that meant I had time to get a Whopper from the BK in the station. They just started making lunch so I had to wait a few minutes for the burger. While waiting, thats when Doc showed up and found me. If I hadn't had to wait for a damn Whopper we would have missed each other.

As they say, "Timing is everything."

As American as Apple Pie said...

This story is hilarious. What a comedy of events! I too have been the friend looking for everyone else and they aren't where they're supposed to be. SUCKS! That's why next time I'M going to be the drunk friend.

Doc said...

Absolut was saved... by a Whopper!


(can't wait to see you on Sunday buddy)