Friday, July 25, 2008

The Tale of Lonesome George the Tortoise

Last week we learned about Lucky the koala so this week I wanted to bring you another animal story. Here we find lonesome George the Galapagos giant tortoise. Kind of like Lucky the news media is getting involved in his personal life because it seems that Ole George has finally started getting frisky now that he is over 60 years of age. Apparently he is the last of a whole species of tortoises but he has never wanted to breed with his two female companions during the last 36 years until now. He has finally done the deed and is going to have some kids. YAY for George. Here is the thing, once again the people are busy just putting George's business out there for the rest of the world to read. In this story they go so far as to say that they thought George was impotent (or gay) because they went so far as to include this line: "After trying almost everything from artificial insemination to having George watch younger males mate, his keepers had nearly lost hope." Come on now did ya'll really have to go there and try to shame ole George into mating by making him watch young tortoise porn?
This is the second week in a row that the news media is taking us too far into the sex lives of poor animals and I am calling out the hypocrisy. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS ! I am going to form a group to help out these poor animals who the media keeps exploiting because they cannot speak up for themselves and I suggest you all join. This new group will be called KABOOM! (Keep Animal's Business Out Of the Media!) This group will explode onto the scene and we will strive to point out animal business hypocrisy wherever we see it. Please join with me in the fight to help protect these animals who have no one else to stand up for them. If you see the media putting an animal's business out there then call them out on it! Together we can make a difference. Thank you.

-Doc (founder of KABOOM!)

21 comments:

Micky-T said...

I know George.

The Mountain Cat said...

Doc I agree! However, in a related story, did you hear that Lassie made a sex tape in the 1950s?

Doc said...

LOL @ Mic

Hey Vin... please tell me that Marilyn Monroe tape was not one in the same... :o

WNG said...

Great - now I have Lassie humping Marilyn Monroe in my head - thanks guys.

Doc said...

Yeah... Thanks Vin.

Karen said...

Don't these tortoises live like 140 years or something. Poor George was just a late bloomer.

They probably had him watch The 40 Year Old Virgin to boost up his confidence.

The Mountain Cat said...

WNG/Doc, Yeah sorry...HEY HEY WAIT A MINUTE!!!

The Mountain Cat said...

Wow a turtle from Turtle!

Doc said...

HAAAHAAHHAAAAAA !!

WNG said...

ROTFL!!! You are now Turtle for LIFE!!! But a cool one, like in Finding Nemo.

BTW - they are playing XMas music on the radio here for Christmas in July ...I have no idea why I like it when it usually annoys the crap out of me.

Doc said...

"Oh the weather outside is frightful"

jennifer said...

See. There was this Hare. And he said DUDE, you gotta do it like this... and he DID and he DID and he DID and little baby hares were a popping out all over the place.

Well, George said "Slow and Steady, keep my pace, won't be rushed by Mr. hare.

NOW, Mr. Hare gonr, and parts of him are hanging off of a key chain somewhere.

And George, HE is the one kickin' it now. Thinking "How ya like me now Hare Dude?

The moral of this story?

You need a better readership. By at least one.

Bina said...

I'm right there with ya! How 'bout we all put that cool sign on our blogs, and point it back to the founder! Poor George.

Hey, did you happen to hear about the girl whose name is "Talulu Does the Hula?" Just look under weird new on MSN. There is also a person out there, somewhere, named, "Sex Fruit".

I kid you not.

Doc said...

ROTFL @ Jennifer !!! (I guess slow and steady does win the race)

Yes Bina... I heard about hula and Sex Fruit... I even thought about using it for a Tuesday Word game... Or not.

Bina said...

That's what I thought of! Can you just imagine the names these people would come up with???? What fun!

Jay said...

Well now that Britney is staying in more and not running around showing the world her hoo-ha every other day and now that Lindsay Lohan has settled down into her lesbian relationship with that DJ chick the paparazzi are having to find other lives to intrude upon. Naturally they turn to rare species found in remote locations.

Knight said...

Kaboom? What's next Doc? Are you going to ban Animal Planet and Natural Geographic? My vote is pro animal porn.

Doc said...

Are you going to ban Animal Planet and Natural Geographic?

Nat G can stay but I am going AFTER that show Meerkat Manor... It's exploitative!

Tink said...

What if an animal robs a bank or something? You'd probably want to know about that, huh? ;)

Anndi said...

Annoyed George finally got some?

Apple Hubby said...

Why does this remind me of the joke about the old bull and the young bull?

When Apple and I were at the zoo this spring with the preschoolers we got to see turtle love up close... it was slow and judging by the expression of the male...painful

Who knew?