Monday, May 19, 2008

Things Bouncing Around This Head of Mine. 5/19/2008


- When I was a child, I used to think it was called Uncle Ben’s Perverted Brand Rice.

- When I was a child, I used to tell everyone ‘When I grow up I want to drive a fire whinge-win!'

- When I was a child, I was with my parents in a car and I pointed out the window and yelled ‘Oh look, Kenfucky Tied Chicken!’

- When I was a child, I once asked my mom for a Sesame Street Bagel.

- When I was a child, my favorite TV show was Wonderama. Remember that show folks? I cried when it was cancelled. (Insert sad face here).

- I don't think I ever went to see a movie in the theater just to see the special effects. It doesn't excite me. Except maybe when I was a child.

- My dad's favorite word is Usufruct. I don't know why? I guess it makes him sound smarter when he uses it.

- Whenever I am in traffic and all the cars are moving slow, I think to myself ‘What asshole is slowing us down?’ It has nothing to do with the amount of cars on the road. It has to do with one individual and one individual only. And he or she is always an asshole.

- What do atheists scream doing sex?

- I am a member of Wait Watchers. I just wait around too much and I watch my weight grow. Man I need to start eating better. (Insert sad face here).

- I hate sandals. My feet just don't get the security I need.

- I cannot stand those tiny paper packets of salt and pepper! They annoy me. So I keep salt and pepper shakers at my desk. Aren’t you glad I shared that with you?

- The first time I was on an airplane was 20 years ago when I moved to Charlotte from New York. I was listening to Pink Floyd’s The Wall in my cassette Walkman. As soon as the plane took off the little girl’s voice in the song 'Goodbye Blue Sky' said ‘Look mummy, there's an airplane up in the sky'. Kinda neat don’t you think?

- Teri Hatcher escapes from mountain lion! Cougar Attacks Cougar. Click here for the full story.

- An example of bad color commentating by a newscaster:
‘…And sadly, the autopsy revealed he was murdered with a screw driver…Well speaking of screwed, the Mets really put the screws to the Yankees last night didn’t they? Here is Bob with sports.’

- A true example of bad color commentating by a newscaster:
A long time ago when I lived in Charlotte there was a newscaster on the NBC affiliate station named Jesse Johnson. She once uttered the following news story: ‘Mrs. Smith came home to find out her husband was not alive. He was dead’. Thank you Jesse for elaborating. I wasn’t quite sure what you were referring to when you said ‘not alive’. True story. Right Doc?

FYI BTW ROTFL N LOL UR BFF LSMFT,
The Mountain Cat

57 comments:

Knight said...

They scream obscenities and names. ;)

Doc said...

I must admit that Mt. Cat is correct on the Jesse Johnson story. Too bad we didn't have TiVo back then.

The Mountain Cat said...

Doc, Also on the Charlotte NBC news the weatherman did the weather report outdoors and his segment was called 'Outdoor Weather'. Yes as opposed to 'indoor weather'! Too funny.

Karen said...

I didn't think anyone but law school professors ever used the word Usufruct.

Special effects don't thrill me either.

When I am in traffic, I honestly hope to see a bad accident with injured or dead people. It makes me feel better about having to sit in that mess.

Doc said...

And the weatherman's name is "Larry Sprinkle"

(it's not a made up name either - his real last name is Sprinkle)

The Mountain Cat said...

Knight, Do they yell: 'No God! No God!'

Karen, Wow I hope I never drive near you on the Jersey Turnpike! Ouch.

Doc, Yes Larry Spinkle! Ha! Is he still their weatherman?

Doc said...

Yes Larry Sprinkle is still the weatherman... Patrick watches him every morning. Interesting note about him that he used to be the voice of the Ty-D-Bowl Man. True story.

BTW - You were an unusual child weren't you?

DirkStar said...

.

The Mountain Cat said...

Yes Doc and I am an unusual adult too.

Dirkstar, What happened? Did you explode?

Leighann said...

Mt Cat as each week passes, the things bouncing around in your head become weirder and weirder....

You frighten me.

Bina said...

LOVE the Kenfucky Tied Chicken!

I have NO idea what Wonderama is. I'll have to look it up!

Hey, I keep salt and pepper shakers, and garlic poweder at my desk! Not weird at all!

That Teri Hatcher thing? Dang, she was lucky!!!!

Okay, I know what all those letters mean except LSMFT. I have clue. How 'bout helping me out???

Doc said...

Now ya'll know what I have been putting up with for almost 19 years !!!


LOL!

The Mountain Cat said...

Leighann,
I frighten me!
I have to keep raising the bar to entertain. You guys are high maintanence. LOL.

Doc said...

Bina, It's something about Lucky Strike cigarettes that Vin thinks should be widely used in vernacular... BUT IT'S NOT, and he won't believe me even though he claims that I have taken his title as popular culture maven.

Doc said...

...and just because something has a Wiki-page doesn't mean it's legitimate.

The Mountain Cat said...

Bina,
LSMFT stands for Lucky Strikes Means Fine Tobacco. It was their 1950s ad campaign. You elders will remember.

The Mountain Cat said...

OMG! Leap O' Faith just had a salad delivered from Chop't and they screwed up her order! The Steakhouse with Bleu Cheese salad! Sorry LeapO'.

Doc said...

Theres a waste of money if I ever heard of one...

As American as Apple Pie said...

OMG!!! My internet has been down all day at work. I've been going nuts thinking about all the stuff I've been missing. Pray it doesn't happen again tomorrow or I'll have to work from home!

The Mountain Cat said...

Yes LeapO' is having a bad day so we may not hear from her for a while today.
Doc also she 'claims' she wasn't 'Anonymous' on Friday night. Then who the hell was it?

As American as Apple Pie said...

Um, Mt Cat? No one know what LSMFT means except me and Doc and I only know b/c you once used it in an email to me. Besides, it means nothing to pop culture and doesn't go with the rest of the sentence. Sorry to rain on your parade.

As American as Apple Pie said...

Never heard of Wonderama either.

KFC makes me barf. Except the coleslaw and biscuits. Course now I've discovered Chick-fil-A so I'm ruined for anything else.

The Mountain Cat said...

LSMFT is a cool thing to say. At least I think so!

Chick-fil-A rocks but there are none in the NYC area.

Knight said...

No God! Nice one TMC.

No KFC! No Chick-fil-A! Gross!

The Mountain Cat said...

Knight,
I think KFC stands for 'kolestoral- free chicken'. LOL

Doc said...

Mt. Cat... Well you just have to figure out from the information I gave you.

Christine said...

Mt. Cat: I'm pretty sure I still have my Wonderama album! My friends, Vicky and Susan, were actually on Wonderama! I sooo wanted to be on that show. Who was the Host? Oh, wait, it was Bob Mcallister!

The Mountain Cat said...

I probably watched Wonderama withmy big sis Christine.
Yes it was Bob McAllister.
Wonderama was the Yo Gabba Gabba of it's time.

The Mountain Cat said...

LSMFT

WNG said...

One of the Sisters of G thought that BP stood for Black Power gasoline. It was funny until my dad pulled up next to a cop and SoG asked (in that really loud six year old voice) "Daddy, why is the pig at Black Power gas?"

Doc said...

As long as we are trading cute kid-isms I have one. The whole time I was growing up my mother's sister lived in Miami. So Mom always refered to Miami. One time I asked her, "So when are we going to Your-ami ?"

Ok well my mom thought it was funny because I was way young and understand possesives

The Mountain Cat said...

Doc,

I booked the Hell's Angels to be in charge of security for tomorrow's Peachfest. I hope it doesn't get out of hand otherwise we'll have another Altamont on our hands. Also, if it rains tomorrow, we should have enough ponchos for the crowd.
The Cranberries and the Lemonheads will perform as well in the morning.

Doc said...

Nope... Tomorrow morning we celebrate the final Dancing with the Stars.


(Yay that crap is over!!)


LOL :p

The Mountain Cat said...

I would like to see 'Dancing with the Farrs' Klinger (Jamie Farr)from M*A*S*H* will bring his whole family on stage, dressed in drag, and dance like crazy. That would be great TV!

WNG said...

The family that cross dresses together stays together!

ps - my story took place sometime in the late '60s in Cali (it's funnier in context)

As American as Apple Pie said...

DWTS is going to be awesome!

Oh, and...BITE ME!

Doc said...

He is gonna be dancing with California congressman Sam Farr.

Talisman said...

When I was 5 I asked my dad what time the "Grand Pricks" was on because, hello, Prix says "pricks" not "pree". It took me years to figure out why he laughed for about 5 minutes before answering me.

The Mountain Cat said...

When I was a child, I once got mad and I consciously said 'Oh Buck!' But my daddy though I said that other word. He gave me his belt across my backside. *sniff*

Doc said...

For some reason the thought of your dad paddling you with a belt makes me smile... I know thats evil but I can't help it.

The Mountain Cat said...

Doc, That is something baby Stewie would say. See deep down inside you love Family Guy but you won't admit to it.
Come Doc. Come to the dark side with us. It will be alright.

Knight said...

When I was little I called a mirror a marror and at night I had night marrors. They didn't correct me until I was about ten. Freakin' jerks!

The Mountain Cat said...

When I was a child, I believed the stork delivered babies. Then I turned 30.

WNG said...

How can Doc not like Family Guy??? Doc - you're breaking my heart here...sniffle...

Micky-T said...

All my uncles,[moms side] Joe,Frank,Nunzio,Dante,Victor, Dino all smoked Lucky Strikes.
We use to say it all the time as kids!
But I still got no clue on the BFF.

The Mountain Cat said...

Micky-T, BFF means Best Friends Forever.

Jay said...

Terri Hatcher v. a Mountain Lion

I think I would have to root for the mt. lion in that battle.

I'm going to try to use "Usufruct" in Scrabulous.

The Mountain Cat said...

Jay, you would love to rip into that cougar wouldn't you?

Hey Doc, so Peachfest starts at noon tomorrow? I'm going to tailgate in the parking lot beforehand. I'm going to listen to R.E.M., Black Crowes, B-52s and the Allman Brothers tomorrow all day. And do you know why???

Sassy Mama Bear said...

At what astounding age did this particular Freudian slip pop out might we ask...
‘Oh look, Kenfucky Tied Chicken!’ ???
The curious minds that read you want to know.

The Mountain Cat said...

Dad? Pat? Chris? Please answer Sassy Mama Bear's question please. How old was I when I said 'Kenfucky Tied Chicken'?

Doc said...

Hey Doc, so Peachfest starts at noon tomorrow? I'm going to tailgate in the parking lot beforehand. I'm going to listen to R.E.M., Black Crowes, B-52s and the Allman Brothers tomorrow all day. And do you know why???

'Cause Georgia is on yer mind ???

Pat said...

MtCat
You were about 5 years old .....by the way the original host of Wonderama was Sonny Fox ....Bob McAllister came later on in the show...with his big song hit "Marshmellows are Funny"

Micky-T said...

LMAO x 2 and ROTF with a half twist of WTF
@ Kenfucky Tied Chicken

As American as Apple Pie said...

You forgot to work in LSMFT Micky-T!

Lesley said...

x 3 for what Mickey- T said...
mmm, not sure about using LSMFT myself. I I'll leave that one for the experts :-)

When I was little I called my Aunty Lorraine, Aunty Rolaine.. No matter how many times I was corrected I still said it..
I also had a Donny Osborn Doll! lol
Maybe my mum liked him because I didn't know who he was.. I just thought his microphone was cool..

I cannot stand those paper table clothes they use at our local club.

Hope your having a good one!
Hugs,
Lesley

Lesley said...

It's only 12 and half hours till Peach Fest for me.. whoo who
See ya then :-)

EDW said...

Bob McAllister was my best friend from college's dad...good guy. In July, it will be ten years since he died.

There are Chick-fil-a's in the NYC area...unless you don't count NJ as part of the tri-state.