Friday, May 2, 2008

States of the States

With the United States economy in flux, a lot of our 50 states are now rethinking their image and have come up with new hip slogans to help promote themselves to consumers. So for now I give you....

The Top Ten New State Mottos

10. NEW MEXICO: Come. Stay. Enjoy. All Ours Doors are Open.

9. COLORADO: Get High on Our Thin Air Supply.

8. NORTH CAROLINA: 'Em 'Err Sho' Nuff' U Sum Beech.

7. RHODE ISLAND: Please Visit Us on Your Way to Boston. Please.

6. TEXAS: Killing Criminals since 1845.

5. OKLAHOMA: Oklahoma! Oklahoma! Oklahoma! Oklahoma! Oklahoma!

4. NEVADA: Come Turn Tricks With Us.

3. IOWA: Boredom Can Be Still Fun!

2. FLORIDA: Ratón de Mickey Venido de la Visita! Arriba! Arriba!

1. NEW JERSEY: How Da Fuck Are Ya Today?

Any others ones that I missed?
Happy Friday.

- The Mountain Cat


Doc said...

North Carolina - If you don't like barbecue then go back to where you came from.

Texas - You better mess with Oklahoma instead.

Florida - Home of the hanging chad.

Doc said...

Hawaii - Come grab our coconuts!

South Dakota - It could be worse. We could be North Dakota.

Wisconsin - And you all thought that rednecks were only found in the south.

Minnesota - That's not Lake Minnetonka

Lu' said...

Alaska - If you're ugly come here we don't mide. It's dark for half the year.

Doc said...

New Mexico - slowly turning into regular Mexico

Georgia - We swear Michael Vick is really from Virginia.

Utah - Living la vida loca !!

Lu' said...

Texas - visit now while GW's in DC

Missouri - We're the show me state, wanna see?

Pennsylvania - We may be the land of taxes but since you'll just be visiting, it wont bother you any.

Doc said...

BTW - I want to see if anyone gets the reference that Mt. Cat is making with his #5 about Oklahoma.

This one may be too far out for anyone to get (unless any of my fraternity brothers are reading this)

Lu' said...

Arizona - We have air conditioning, Honest!

Lu' said...

Ohio - We've got Bagwine

Doc said...

Iowa - where life is like a coma

New Hampshire - We are Alabama, just in the middle of New England.

Mississippi - Staring up at the other 49

The Mountain Cat said...

California - Nobody's Fault But Ours.

Doc said...

Delaware - The best 35 minutes of I-95

West Virginia - Deliverance Lives !!

Florida - Home of mediocre pro sports teams.

Lu' said...

Utah - bring your wife/wives, Ain't got one? We'll share.

Doc said...

New Jersey - Home of the World Champion New York Giants.

Ohio - We suck so bad that the Wright brothers went to NC to fly their plane.

Indiana - Birthplace of Michael Jackson

Lu' said...

Indiana - but he doesn't live here any more, so it's all good.

Doc said...

Pennsylvania - We used to have thriving industry here!

Maine - It's frikin' freezing in here Mr. Bigglesworth

New York - Upstate? You mean there is something north of Scarsdale??

Lu' said...

Pennsylvania - We can nuke it for you.

Doc said...

Michigan - Don't blame us, Hillary's name was the only one on the ballot

Wyoming - Are we still a State?

Tennessee - We border more states than anyone else... nanny nanny boo boo!

Miss Merry Sunshine said...


I get it Doc....

these are all hilarious!!

Lu' said...

Every state but California - Heather Mills didn't choose to live here.

Doc said...

OMG Miss Merry Sunshine is definetly US people - she knows Ruprect the monkey boy from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels!!!!

You are my girl !!!!

Doc said...

South Carolina - "No Facilities"

Dana said...

Illinois: If you don't get a good deal on your travel arrangements, we can always be bought.

Minnesota: We do have summer, for 3 weeks in July.

Dana said...

Washington: If you don't tan, you'll at least rust.

Christine said...

Texas: We're all family here.

Miss Merry Sunshine said...

Genital cuff!!

Miss Merry Sunshine said...

Florida: What Hell feels like.

Micky-T said...

Idaho Youdaho don't bring potatos.

We started all this shit!

Micky-T said...

West Virgina: Wishing we were east!

Micky-T said...

Georgia: Don't come for beaches,
Suck down some peaches!

Doc said...

Idaho Youdaho don't bring potatos.

Why does this make me laugh so hard ??


Doc said...

South Carolina - America's Armpit

Knight said...

Illinois- All hail our beloved queen Oprah.

New York- Our free NYC condoms say it all.

Mississippi- We always come in last.

The Mountain Cat said...

Puerto Rico - We're NOT a State??

Minnesota - Eh?

Vermont - Sip Our Sexy Succulent Syrup

Florida - Pablo Honey? Please come to Florida? You Washing Your Ass? Pablo? (Anyone get this reference?)

Knight said...

Florida- The wanger state.

Micky-T said...

South Carolina: We be wannabes!
................Yo wanna be?

Knight said...

Arizona- Come camp in our grand hole.

The Mountain Cat said...

Montana - Cum Herd Sheep With Our Cowboyssssssssssss ;)

Lu' said...

Delaware - Cross over Washington did.

Virgina - Do you like your Sister?

KaritaG said...

I recognized the OK reference only because my husband is obsessed with Steve Martin movies. His old computer password used to be Ruprect. And, we're from Oklahoma to boot.

You should change Colorado to just "Come get High."

Lu' said...

Alabama - slammers, come for a little comfort.

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

*sad face* what about California???

Doc said...

DPH -- Make up something... I can't think of anything for Cali other than "California America's Gangland"

Lu' said...

California - southern California - like come here 'K

Mt Cat mentioned California, I thought it was a good one.

Lu' said...

California - We have Yosemite.

California - For a gay old time.

California - You shake your booty and we'll shake the rest.

DPH it's my home state.

Doc said...

KaritaG - I am impressed... I figured no one would know Ruprect. Your husband sounds like a cool guy... It's probably why you married him... LOL!

Lu' said...

OK had to google Ruprect. Actually watched the clip from Oklahoma Oklahoma Oklahoma. I have never seen the movie. I like Steve Martin and Michael Cain, maybe I'll rent it.

Doc said...

Here is my memory of how one of the Ruprect scenes went:

(Older brother, Miss Trumble and Ruprect are sitting at the dinner table, Ruprect is holding a trident and wearing an eye patch)

Reprect: "May I go to the bathroom Sir?"

Older Brother: "Why certainly Ruprect"

(Ruprect sits there and slowly a smile comes onto his face)

Ruprect: "Thaaaank you!"

Karen said...

Vermont - We Have Maple Syrup And Gay Marriage.

New Jersey - Better Than You've Heard. Honestly.

Miss Merry Sunshine said...

Me & Karitag are like *this close*.

Doc said...

Where have you been all my life ??


Jay said...

Mississippi: "We ain't much on book learnin'."

Ohio: Only half of us are functional illiterates.

New Jersey: Our strip clubs rock!

Florida: Come make fun of us in person.

Texas: That driver you just flipped off is armed to the teeth.

Nebraska: There's nothing here.

Utah: You didn't really want to buy a drink after 9 PM anyway.

Bina said...

There are some really good ones here. I can't think today though, so I can't participate. It would just sound stupid anyway.

As American as Apple Pie said...

Wisconsin--come have one on us.

Minnesota--cooler than everything!

North Dakota--Where old people go to die.

Alaska--SH*T it's cold here!

West Virginia--we don't have gay marriage but we do marry our cousins.

North Carolina--watch out for the NASCAR wannabees.

Phfrankie Bondo said...

California: Come for the Fruits and stay for the Nuts!

California: Eureka! (...and you don' smella so gooda you self!)

Tennessee: Teeth Don't Matter!

Nevada: Come for the Gambling and stay for the Poon-tang

Utah: Come for the Religion and stay for the Polygamy!

Washington: We provided the wood for Heather Mills' leg!

Doc said...

ROTFL @ Jay, Apple, and Pfrankie !!

Hey Bina baby... I hope you are doing well today!

As American as Apple Pie said...

Tennesee--more than Graceland and Dollywood.

Kentucky--if you don't have horses, don't bother.

Arkansas--Where it's legal to carry a crossbow.

Louisiana--It's the debul!

Knight said...

Isn't Florida known as heaven's waiting room?

Micky-T said...

Orlando: The Disney State?

Tennessee: Oh Brother, come for the moonshine!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Oh I had a google party and your link is in there!!!


Anonymous said...

Doc, I used to go fishing on Lake Minnetonka- Apple Hubby

Jules said...

California: Borders? Where?

California: Shake it up baby.

Alaska: Land of big, honkin', ginormous bugs.

Oklahoma: If your dog runs away, you can see him run...... for miles..... and miles....... and miles.