Friday, April 18, 2008

I Hope for Pope Soap on a Rope?? Ahhh, Nope!



Pope Benedict XVI is in Manhattan as we speak. I will try to get a glimpse of him when he stops by St. Patrick's Cathedral this afternoon. But since midtown is on such a lock down, I doubt I will get to see him.


Any who, I wonder what he wants to accomplish while he is here?
Hmmmm??

The Top Ten Things Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America.....

10. Change the Catholic mass celebratory wine and wafer to beer and wienerschnitzel (Well he is German).

9. Make that red Pope hat fashionable.

8. Buy knock off Gucci wallets and sunglasses from a street corner 'salesman'.

7. To promote the manufacturing of his Pope Mobile which has 40 MPG on the street, 50 MPG on the highway.

6. Exercise the Chicago Cubs 100 year curse of not winning the World Series.

5. Go to a New York Ranger playoff game and yell 'Potvin Sucks!'

4. Take the Sex & the City bus tour.

3. At mass at St. Patrick Cathedral, tell the crowd that Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code will replace the King James Bible. Cough. Then laugh. Then yell 'Fool you!'

2. Go out 'clubbing' with Jenna Bush and her friends.

And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....

1. Make Oprah kiss his feet.

Any other warped ideas folks to compete for my Lion Award??? Happy Friday.

- The Mountain Cat

(Disclaimer: I truly love my Pope and I have a very strong faith in God. I hope they both know this blog is purely satire. Amen).

52 comments:

Leighann said...

To meet with a group of Scientologists and piss on their shoes.

Dana said...

Use his MIB Neuralyzer on any person he comes in contact with who ever served as an alter boy.

Micky-T out of line..and off line said...

Gather up a bunch of young boys and............no I can't go there!

The Mountain Cat said...

Micky-T you watch it! This is suppose to be a joyous occasion. Don't spoil it!

Knight said...

Go cruising for twinks in Chelsea?

Attend and ordain the first official three way with the Olsen twins?

Bless the Times Square vendor's hotdog water into holy water. Mmmmm Holy Hot Dogs.

As American as Apple Pie said...

There's a Sex and the City bus tour? I am SO there. I can't wait for the movie to come out on May 30th!

Oh, and Mt Kitty? Do you really think that little disclaimer prayer at the end is going to get you back in the good graces? I think you past that point a LONG time ago! :p

The Mountain Cat said...

Oh Dear Lord please forgive me for opening up this forum for the heretics!

Leighann said...

To slap Heather Mills square in the face.

Leighann said...

LMAO @ holy hot dogs

Leighann said...

To tug on Hillary's tampon string and loosen her up.

Karen said...

No comment from me. I want the Lion, but I want eternal salvation more.

Micky-T said...

Go gabba gabin with Doc

Jay said...

Go to the Virgin Megastore in Times Square. He loves Virgins.

Hit the Champaign Room at Scores and hang out with the Knicks players.

The Mountain Cat said...

To fire Isaiah Thomas and hide his body.

Knight said...

Appear as a guest judge on American Idol. It's Jebus week!

The Mountain Cat said...

The Pope will engage in a rap duel, like Eminem in the film 8 Mile, with Jay-Z at his 40/40 Club for Beyonce's heart.

Knight said...

Finally complete elaborate plans to punk George W.

The Mountain Cat said...

I just met the Pope and I bought him lunch! He had the McNuggets.

He told me to say hello to everyone.

Lu' said...

If they made Pope Soap on a Rope we'd probably find that it would try and hide its self :)

Lu' said...

And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....

See a live performance of Yo Gabba Gabba

Lu' said...

And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....

To stand in front of TGI Fridays in Time Square and wave in the web cam.

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

Visit with the Girls Next Door =)

Knight said...

Put Paris Hilton in a Habit and give her a good flogging.

Lu' said...

And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....

Get up early so he can have a good spot at the Good Morning America taping and wave to the folks back home.

Lu' said...

And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....

Visit the little boys room.

Christine said...

Pull a Ricshaw.

Lu' said...

ha ha ha Christine. Couldn't you just see that, ha ha ha.

Christine said...

Ha, ha...Ricshaws are the funniest thing! It's a wonder more people aren't killed cruising in the streets of Manhattan!

Lu' said...

This is probably where the phrase God speed would come in handy.

Christine said...

Lu: Ha, ha, ha....I'm craking up over here!

The Mountain Cat said...

Herro rondie, wanna ride my rickshaw?

Lu' said...

Mt Cat maybe he could trade the Pope hat for a bamboo hat and some kung fu slippers. His dress is already a winner.

Anndi said...

And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....

find the pothole Jimmy Hoffa is buried in.

The Mountain Cat said...

The Pope is going on the View to hassle Hassleback (I always wanted to say hassle Hassleback). *gigglesnort*

Anndi said...

And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....

slap the Naked Cowboy on the ass cheeks and serve him with a lawsuit cause his 'trademark' tidy-whities are far too similar to Jebus' loincloth.

Lu' said...

The Pope is going on the view to bitch slap Barbara Walters.

Anndi said...

I think I just earned my one-way ticket to hell in the VIP section right there....

Lu' said...

Then he offered the Naked Cowboy a bite of waffer and asked him to forgive him and could he ride his horsey.

Hold my hand Anndi and we'll go together :)

Anndi said...

And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....

catch a show on Broadway... like Spamalot, because nobody expects The Spanish Inquisition.

Anndi said...

Sounds like a plan Lu'!

Anndi said...

And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....

catch a showing of 'Jersey Boys' and 'Naked Boys Singing'...

Lu' said...

Make an appearance on MTV and perform Like A Virgin

The Mountain Cat said...

Anndi, I thought you already have a VIP seat? I know I do...

Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.

[The Inquisition exits]

Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.

[JARRING CHORD]


[The cardinals burst in]

Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn!

Anndi said...

Anndi, I thought you already have a VIP seat? I know I do...

We'll spend eternity all hot and sweaty together then....

Think the Pope brought his dish rack?

Anndi said...

I bet you the comfy chair is in the Popemobile...

Anndi said...

And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....

bring a revival of West Side story back to Broadway where he'll be able to sing 'I Feel Pretty' whilst twirling his red sash, dancing about fawning over a dreamy 'Jet' and trying on various papal hats with his bishops...

pat said...

To prove to my son that just because he wears a red beanie doesnt mean he's jewish.....

To pose for the Pope Benedict XVI Action Figure

Pat said...

Vin,
You have finally reached the pinnacle of religious satire...OUR POPE!! our family values!!! what have you done? ...how will our mothers recover??? some things must remain safeguarded and POPE Benny should not be used in your top 10 Again... Im telling!!!!
lol lol

doc said...

I missed you guys today

Anndi said...

We missed you doc... SMOOCH

Lu' said...

Missed you too Doc. Thought you were just being quiet or some of us were being too bad:)um evil I think you said ha ha ho ho hee hee.

Betty said...

I'll say one thing for the Pope. He has fashion sense. The hat and the shoes match.