Pope Benedict XVI is in Manhattan as we speak. I will try to get a glimpse of him when he stops by St. Patrick's Cathedral this afternoon. But since midtown is on such a lock down, I doubt I will get to see him.
Any who, I wonder what he wants to accomplish while he is here?
Hmmmm??
The Top Ten Things Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America.....
10. Change the Catholic mass celebratory wine and wafer to beer and wienerschnitzel (Well he is German).
9. Make that red Pope hat fashionable.
8. Buy knock off Gucci wallets and sunglasses from a street corner 'salesman'.
7. To promote the manufacturing of his Pope Mobile which has 40 MPG on the street, 50 MPG on the highway.
6. Exercise the Chicago Cubs 100 year curse of not winning the World Series.
5. Go to a New York Ranger playoff game and yell 'Potvin Sucks!'
4. Take the Sex & the City bus tour.
3. At mass at St. Patrick Cathedral, tell the crowd that Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code will replace the King James Bible. Cough. Then laugh. Then yell 'Fool you!'
2. Go out 'clubbing' with Jenna Bush and her friends.
And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....
1. Make Oprah kiss his feet.
9. Make that red Pope hat fashionable.
8. Buy knock off Gucci wallets and sunglasses from a street corner 'salesman'.
7. To promote the manufacturing of his Pope Mobile which has 40 MPG on the street, 50 MPG on the highway.
6. Exercise the Chicago Cubs 100 year curse of not winning the World Series.
5. Go to a New York Ranger playoff game and yell 'Potvin Sucks!'
4. Take the Sex & the City bus tour.
3. At mass at St. Patrick Cathedral, tell the crowd that Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code will replace the King James Bible. Cough. Then laugh. Then yell 'Fool you!'
2. Go out 'clubbing' with Jenna Bush and her friends.
And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....
1. Make Oprah kiss his feet.
Any other warped ideas folks to compete for my Lion Award??? Happy Friday.
- The Mountain Cat
(Disclaimer: I truly love my Pope and I have a very strong faith in God. I hope they both know this blog is purely satire. Amen).
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52 comments:
To meet with a group of Scientologists and piss on their shoes.
Use his MIB Neuralyzer on any person he comes in contact with who ever served as an alter boy.
Gather up a bunch of young boys and............no I can't go there!
Micky-T you watch it! This is suppose to be a joyous occasion. Don't spoil it!
Go cruising for twinks in Chelsea?
Attend and ordain the first official three way with the Olsen twins?
Bless the Times Square vendor's hotdog water into holy water. Mmmmm Holy Hot Dogs.
There's a Sex and the City bus tour? I am SO there. I can't wait for the movie to come out on May 30th!
Oh, and Mt Kitty? Do you really think that little disclaimer prayer at the end is going to get you back in the good graces? I think you past that point a LONG time ago! :p
Oh Dear Lord please forgive me for opening up this forum for the heretics!
To slap Heather Mills square in the face.
LMAO @ holy hot dogs
To tug on Hillary's tampon string and loosen her up.
No comment from me. I want the Lion, but I want eternal salvation more.
Go gabba gabin with Doc
Go to the Virgin Megastore in Times Square. He loves Virgins.
Hit the Champaign Room at Scores and hang out with the Knicks players.
To fire Isaiah Thomas and hide his body.
Appear as a guest judge on American Idol. It's Jebus week!
The Pope will engage in a rap duel, like Eminem in the film 8 Mile, with Jay-Z at his 40/40 Club for Beyonce's heart.
Finally complete elaborate plans to punk George W.
I just met the Pope and I bought him lunch! He had the McNuggets.
He told me to say hello to everyone.
If they made Pope Soap on a Rope we'd probably find that it would try and hide its self :)
And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....
See a live performance of Yo Gabba Gabba
And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....
To stand in front of TGI Fridays in Time Square and wave in the web cam.
Visit with the Girls Next Door =)
Put Paris Hilton in a Habit and give her a good flogging.
And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....
Get up early so he can have a good spot at the Good Morning America taping and wave to the folks back home.
And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....
Visit the little boys room.
Pull a Ricshaw.
ha ha ha Christine. Couldn't you just see that, ha ha ha.
Ha, ha...Ricshaws are the funniest thing! It's a wonder more people aren't killed cruising in the streets of Manhattan!
This is probably where the phrase God speed would come in handy.
Lu: Ha, ha, ha....I'm craking up over here!
Herro rondie, wanna ride my rickshaw?
Mt Cat maybe he could trade the Pope hat for a bamboo hat and some kung fu slippers. His dress is already a winner.
And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....
find the pothole Jimmy Hoffa is buried in.
The Pope is going on the View to hassle Hassleback (I always wanted to say hassle Hassleback). *gigglesnort*
And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....
slap the Naked Cowboy on the ass cheeks and serve him with a lawsuit cause his 'trademark' tidy-whities are far too similar to Jebus' loincloth.
The Pope is going on the view to bitch slap Barbara Walters.
I think I just earned my one-way ticket to hell in the VIP section right there....
Then he offered the Naked Cowboy a bite of waffer and asked him to forgive him and could he ride his horsey.
Hold my hand Anndi and we'll go together :)
And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....
catch a show on Broadway... like Spamalot, because nobody expects The Spanish Inquisition.
Sounds like a plan Lu'!
And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....
catch a showing of 'Jersey Boys' and 'Naked Boys Singing'...
Make an appearance on MTV and perform Like A Virgin
Anndi, I thought you already have a VIP seat? I know I do...
Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.
[The Inquisition exits]
Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD]
[The cardinals burst in]
Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn!
Anndi, I thought you already have a VIP seat? I know I do...
We'll spend eternity all hot and sweaty together then....
Think the Pope brought his dish rack?
I bet you the comfy chair is in the Popemobile...
And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....
bring a revival of West Side story back to Broadway where he'll be able to sing 'I Feel Pretty' whilst twirling his red sash, dancing about fawning over a dreamy 'Jet' and trying on various papal hats with his bishops...
To prove to my son that just because he wears a red beanie doesnt mean he's jewish.....
To pose for the Pope Benedict XVI Action Figure
Vin,
You have finally reached the pinnacle of religious satire...OUR POPE!! our family values!!! what have you done? ...how will our mothers recover??? some things must remain safeguarded and POPE Benny should not be used in your top 10 Again... Im telling!!!!
lol lol
I missed you guys today
We missed you doc... SMOOCH
Missed you too Doc. Thought you were just being quiet or some of us were being too bad:)um evil I think you said ha ha ho ho hee hee.
I'll say one thing for the Pope. He has fashion sense. The hat and the shoes match.
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