Monday, January 7, 2008

I heard the worst combination of four words in the history of mankind


(Let me preempt this by saying, I was given a Starbucks gift card from a client).
The woman in front of me in the line at Starbucks ordered a 'Grande Soy Chai Latte'.
WTF is in a 'Grande Soy Chai Latte'????????
I myself bought a 'Tall Americano' which is the closest thing in Starbucks to regular coffee. Or in Starbuckanese; Cafe Regulari. But I REFUSE to order a 'Tall'. I want a small one.
So I asked for a small! Then the cashier says 'One Tall Americano'. Then I snapped back, 'Yes, a Small Americano'. She is not going to control my speech!! I think Starbucks is the closest thing to modern day fascism.
- The Mountain Cat

9 comments:

Hammer said...

I thought I was the only one pissed about having to say veni vedi vici when ordering a damn cup of coffee.

Everytime I go in I make them explain it to me and get the barista all flustered.

Regular coffee, a big one with nothing fairy, fruity or frothy thank you.

Jay said...

I'm pretty sure that Starbucks is the most evil company on Earth.

Wait .. second most. Almost forgot about Wal-Mart for sec.

CarmenSinCity said...

Booooo Starbucks. Their supid sizing system is so gay. Large should be large and small should be small. Plus, I hate their coffee.

DocMtCat said...

Jay - I could have typed your comment about Wal Mart for you - thats exactly how I feel. (but you would know better seeing as you live in Wal Mart land)

As far as Starbucks - lets just say that I am glad I don't drink coffee.

-Shane (doc)

Matt-Man said...

Starbucks Sucks. Hey, that rhymed. Cheers!!

The AbsolutGator said...

All coffee sucks anyway. Why the hell people pay $5 for some flavored crap water, I have no idea. (Full Disclosure - My wife likes Starbucks coffee and I hate seeing the receipts. Love you honey!)

Dana said...

Well, being a native of Seattle, I can tell you that Starbucks USED to sell coffee. Not quite sure what it is they sell now that they've gone national.

I usually order a tall, dark and robust when I go in just to see the barista look at me like I've lost my mind.

WomanHonorThyself said...

ha I bet youre one TALL American..woot!..ty for the vis to my humble abode~!

DocMtCat said...

I think next time I go into Starbucks I will paraphrase Jack Nicholson's character in film 'Five Easy Pieces':

Vince: I'd like regular coffee.

Starbucks' clerk: Sorry sir we don't have regular coffee.

Vince: Ok. Then give me a Grande Soy Chai Coffee. But please hold the Grande, hold the Soy and hold the Chai. Then you will be giving me regular coffee and you won't be breaking any rules. Got it?

Starbucks' clerk: You want me to hold the Grande, the Soy and the Chai, huh?

Vince: I want you to hold them between your knees!!!!
(Vince breaks a dish and storms out of the store).
- The Mountain Cat