Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Friendship


First, let me formally introduce myself. I use the handle Disaster Chick because I'm in the disaster business. Technically I'm in Emergency Management so I plan for and coordinate disaster response. With the storm season upon us I recommend going to http://www.ready.gov/ for ideas on how to better protect yourself and your family. One boss told me in this business you have to be a mile wide and an inch deep with knowledge. This seems to be a thread in my life.

I've noticed that Doc seem to accumulate friends from everywhere. I "met" him though the currency tracking program, Where's George? Yes, I'm one of those people that mark my money. I've even gone to "Gatherings" and met other Georgers, but I've yet to meet Doc in person.

I've kicked around what I was going to write about and one idea was a tribute to beer since I had a couple last night. Then I was thinking about topics such as songs/music, forgiveness, and introverts/extroverts. Now my mind is leading me the topic of friendship.

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. ~ Elisabeth Foley

Who is your best friend - outside of your significant other (if you have one)? Who really knows you?

My best friend would have to be my mom. It's been just the two of us since my dad died when I was 8. I was reading an article by a single gal called "My Significant Mother" in either Glamour or Marie Claire a few months ago that stuck with me. It was about how she doesn't feel the need to find a significant other because she always has someone to do things with - her mother. You share genetic material and usually enjoy many of the same things. Most guys are not going to willingly go to a ballet, chick flick. play, opera, etc., however, her mother is willing to go and have a good time.

I went to 7 different schools between K-12. In 1st Grade I went to three different schools an each teacher was Mrs. H. I thought that was a requirement to teach 1st Grade. The majority of the friends I have acquired came from 1 of the 2 schools which I attended from 3rd to 9.5 and then 9.5 to Graduation. Most I have not seen in years - and Facebook has been great for re-establishing connections. (Found out several guys had crushes on me - why didn't I see that then?) I don't think my classmates knew me very well because I was the kid that sat in the back always reading in my free time. Yet, my high school friends seem to be the ones I'm the closest to - maybe because they were there in the formative years.

For awhile my best friend was one that we had been friends since I was 10 months old and he was born. I think he was born because I was such a cute and good baby. Our friendship changed when he got married, because his wife doesn't seem to like me. His brothers say she doesn't seem like anyone. In many ways I feel bad because his entire family including parents, brothers, grandma, uncles, aunts, and cousins have said to me that "Luke should have married you." If she had overheard this I can see why she doesn't like me. I've backed off because I don't want to cause problems. They have been married for 8 years now so I hope I'm not seen as a threat anymore. I rarely see them know.

Back to being a mile wide and an inch deep - I have a wide variety of interests and will try just about anything once, and always taking ideas on new things to try and adventures to experience. Last year I went skydiving and got my motorcycle license. The previous year I got my open water certification to go SCUBA diving. I'm an extrovert with introverted tendencies and I blame that on being an only child, but maybe I'm balanced. I've always had friends that didn't like each other. It seems like I'm a giant puzzle where different friends hold a different piece and a few may hold several pieces - yet the only one that sees the picture on the front of the box is my significant mother. One day I hope that I have a significant other that will take the time to discover the picture on the front of the box.


10 comments:

Mrs. D said...

Good post. The last couple of years I've changed in that I don't feel the need for a "best" friend anymore. I always had 2 usually that I could consider a best, but anymore I just don't have the time and energy. That's great that you're so close to your mom.

Jay said...

It's difficult to remain BFFs with peope we grew up with because we all change as we get older and often times drift apart. Also, I've moved so many times and once one moves it is also hard to stay in touch. Even in this day and age of easy communication, it's still a lot of effort.

Dana said...

I too have reconnected with a few "old" friends on Facebook, but it's been almost 30 years, and 1500 miles, since I've been in high school and it is difficult to renew those friendships.

I am sad to say that I do not have a BFF - not in my family - not outside of my family.

Friendships are not my strong point.

Disaster Chick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Disaster Chick said...

Kinda like you Jay I have moved a lot in my youth. I've been in one place since Nov. 1996 and it is harder to make friends when you aren't in school. I commuted 20 miles for college and my life was more in Topeka than Lawrence.

Disaster Chick said...

Dana, Facebook has been great for me. I can keep up on people and chat a bit more with those I'm more connected with.

I looked the pictures on your blog - AWESOME!!!

I've had two friends "dump" me in my 20s. Made me feel like I'm not a great friend. In many ways I am a loner. My mom and I went thru quite a bit of tragedy that either breaks you or makes you.

jennifer said...

I stink at relationships outside of my family. I tend to give everything that I've got to them and let the rest slide. There are a couple of ladies that I've stayed in touch with from our old community. I haven't really tried to form any new friendships since our move a couple of years ago. See? No good.

The person that I can tell anything to is my mother.

Candice said...

I'm lucky enough to still have my best friend that I've had since 2nd
grade.

She truly knows me. It's pretty amazing.

Real Live Lesbian said...

I, too have several that know pieces. It's hard letting someone all the way in.

I'm incredibly jealous of your significant mother! What a wonderful thing to have!

Disaster Chick said...

It seems like when I do finally let someone in they then use the knowledge to hurt me.

I read that article a few months ago and thought it was great and really described what I have with my mom. Yeah, she didn't go SCUBA or skydiving with me but she was there when I got certified and landed.

It is good to have someone to do stuff with and not complain. I've had some very negative relationships where I just stop doing stuff because each guy would find something negative - "waste of time" or "too expensive"...