Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Mountain Cat's 'Dog Gone' Birth

My birth and the subsequent aftermath have become folklore in my family. Some of the details of this legend are vague based on my parents' recollections. It all started sometime in July 1971. My parents were on the way to Canada or already in Canada or on their way back from Canada. Allegedly they got into some sort of car accident and were forced to stay overnight in some roadside motel. I can imagine it was the type of seedy motel that propagates romance and other illegal activities for the frequent traveler. Consequently, nine months later on April 7, 1972, Vince was born.

I don't recall how I learned about this story, I believe that I quizzed my parents once in my adulthood about the events that led up to my nativity. Not that I'm a pervert mind you, but somehow we got on this topic one day. Over the years since then, my mother has recanted her original story and amended; 'No Vin, I was actually pregnant with you when we got into that car accident.' If this fact is accurate, it may explain some of my mental deficiencies due to a bump on my head that I suffered when my mom hit her womb against the passenger side dashboard. Those of you who know me well enough know that my personality is slightly 'left of center' to describe it modestly.

Anyway, over the years I have often given my parents mock guilt that I was an unplanned child. My mom always give me the same response: 'Well none of your sisters were planned either, Vin. So don't feel bad.' My two sisters are 11 and 12 years older than me which illustrates how unplanned my birth was!

Now at the time of my genesis, my parents had a French poodle named Jean-Pere. (Pictured below with my sisters in 1971). According to my father 'Jean-Pere was the best catcher he'd ever seen! He can catch any ball or any stick no matter how far or fast you threw it to him.' This fact has nothing to do with my story but it is a fascinating to me nevertheless. Unfortunately for me but certainly more for the dog, I never met Jean-Pere. My parents decided that they did not want Jean-Pere around their new infant. They were probably worried that poodle scent can deform a baby or something. I will have to research that someday to justify my parents' rationale. But the running gag all my life has been that my parents 'had to decide whether to keep me or dog'. Luckily my parents choose me instead of leaving me on some random doorstep or donating me to some refugee family in Chinatown.

Anyway I am saddened that I never got to meet the great Jean-Pere. My parents can't recall what happened to Jean-Pere. They most likely gave him away to a dog shelter where he stayed lonely and unwanted for several months before he was eventually euthanized. Mom and dad you should be ashamed of yourself! The blood is on your hands! Oh and I would have gladly co-existed with Jean-Pere. Come to think of it, I never had any pets growing up. Only goldfish. And goldfish are not affectionate plus they die too quickly to form any loving bond with them. What joy a dog, a cat or even a hamster would have brought to my life instead of the barren childhood that I led. (How's that for guilt?)

Yup, my mom was definitely pregnant with me at the time of the car accident.

-The Mountain Cat (aka Vince)


***Note: The poodle's name is pronounced 'Jon-pear'. It is French for 'John the Father' in case you were wondering. I don't know how he got the name Jean-Pere. According to my dad, they adopted him as a puppy and he already had the name.

41 comments:

3 Men and a Lady said...

It was fate that you were born... no car accident, no Vince. And that's pretty cool.

Doc said...

I never knew how hot your sisters were !

Anonymous said...

So your parents gave up a dog named after a Pope just to keep you around? A lot to live up to there ole bean.

Doc said...

So lets be real here... Ole Jean-Pere either ended up in the East river or in the aforementioned Chinatown as a little Cantonese delicacy right? Hey Vince how ya feel now? LOL

Joanne said...

My sister was an accidental conception and she still has not quite accepted it. But is there really any such thing as an accident? Everything happens for a reason...

The Mountain Cat said...

Doc, That is so wrong on so many levels. (Both of your comments!)

Actually I think Jean-Pere bit my sister's friend before they kicked him out. She'll have to explain in more detail when she logs into this chat.

Thanks everyone!

Micky-T said...

My first trip across country hitch-hiking while going through The New York area I remember this guy in the Toyota I was riding in got all excited and started yelling.."ten points, ten points" and then he swerved, that's when I saw this old poodle cruzing down the road looking alone and miserable. Thump-thump! That crazy driver got his ten points. I swear he looked just like that dog in your picture.

Doc said...

well the always say that Cats and dogs don't mix...

Sis Chris said...

That was some crazy-ass poodle!

I recall his name to be Jean-"Pierre" not "Pere." But since both names sound the same it doesn't much matter. And my memory of why he left is in fact because he bit Karen Byrnes! But now I know...it was your fault!

And don't underestimate the goldfish! Chris won "Dorothy" at a carnival when he was two - She became famous as "The Miracle Fish" in an a local newspaper article when when she floated to the top when he turned ten!

Southern Belle said...

Well this might explain why you are laying on a sofa that looks like it is outside by a car. So I am thinking you are lounging roadside taking in the nice fumes from the cars.

Doc said...

BTW - In another coincidence my parents had to get rid of a dog named Sam when I was adopted... It seems the beast didn't take to me and wanted to drag me around by the neck. See another coincidence in out lives Vin.

Sis Chris said...

I did drop you when you were a baby...that too helps explain...

Doc said...

Chris... So thats where that dent on his head came from!!! HAHA!

The Mountain Cat said...

Sis Chris, My nephew should start a blog. Or have him type up a funny story about the miracle fish and I can publish it on YJKOBT.

Oh and didn't you drag me by my feet across our hallway when I was a kid? That hurt.

Sis Chris said...

It probably hurt when we you went over the floor moldings...sorry ;-)

Doc said...

Now that I think about it you actually did that dog a favor. He left your parent's home and went on to have such great musical hits as Man in Motion (St. Elmo's Fire) and Naughty Naughty!

The Mountain Cat said...

BAHAHWWWWW!!!! No Doc, That's John Parr, you spazz! Too funny!!!!

The Mountain Cat said...

Sis Chris, I just realized a glaring inconsistency in my story that you may be able to answer: Where were you and our Sis Valerie when our parents got into that alledged Canadian car accident?? I certainly hope you did not stay in the motel with them?! Oh and who was watching Jean-Pere back in Brooklyn?? I can't imagine our mom traveling with a pet much less to a foreign country!

Sis Chris said...

We did not wear seatbelts back in "those days." I remember lying across the back seat, probably with my feet all in Sis Val's face, and then we started to spin. I remember that spinning vividly - funny how the mind works. A lot of confusion but strangely, I don't remember fear.

I vaguely recall a motel now that you mention it in your story. I do remember going to Aunt MaryAnnand Uncle Nicky's house- (Loved them) - Dad's cousins(probably a real good story there ;-) I think Mom and Dad got it on at their house!

Doc said...

LOL - So the story gets better Vin. Your sisters were in the accident and in the hotel room when you were concieved... either that or your mom is right and she was already great with child when the great Canadian car wreck happened... This story just keeps getting better.

Patsy Monteleone said...

Hah! I remember that dog! Didn't he pee on my leg once?

(Uhhh, looks like Kfar-Bair Hotel has something to add. Stinking spammers.)

The Mountain Cat said...

Patsy,
Welcome to my blog Cuz! So Jean-Pere bit my sister's friend and he peed on your leg. I am starting to think that he was not such a lovable pet after all. I am officially removing the guilt I placed on my parents for having him gassed.

And Kfar-Bair is no more.

Tony D said...

Vince, as your eldest cousin,surrogate godfather,mentor of all things vice related and one of the few people old enough at the time of your conception, birth and Jean -Pierre's mysterious disappearance, to know what was going on, I have to tell you that therapy will answer ALL of the questions your parents and sisters won't. The only clue I will give you is that at the critical time to decide between Jean Pierre and Infant Vince, YOU were the one being offered around for adoption. Unfortunately for poor Jean Pierre, there were no takers and he was sent to the minors. (He did have a Gold Glove indeed, but couldn't hit the curve ball). The rest is history and why we all love you.

The Mountain Cat said...

Tony D, Oh my God I am crying with laughter!!!!!!

And my dad, your Uncle Charlie, says he was Jean-Pere not Jean-Pierre. :-))

The Mountain Cat said...

Wait a minute Tony D, how/why were you at my conception?!?! That's just sick!

Kat said...

My mom and dad say that none of their kids were planned. And they had six kids! Little perverts. ;)

The Mountain Cat said...

I just spoke to my dad who confirms that they were on their way to Canada when they had to accident. But he can't remember if my mom was carrying me or not.

My dad also said Jean-Pere was a goalie, not a catcher. He could STOP any ball rolled or thrown to him, but not catch it. Big big difference!

Doc said...

With a name like Jean-Pierre a soccer position like goalie is much more appropriate then a baseball position like catcher. Makes more sense now....

Don't you do your homework before you post this stuff? This whole entire story is coming unravelled.

CuzPat said...

Lets put an end to all this speculation it was my father who got the dog for you guys and it was my father who found it another home whether it be the river or farm.... just ask me I was there

The Mountain Cat said...

Thanks CuzPat! However, my story is much funnier than the real facts. ROFL!
But the question still remains; was my mom pregnant with me prior to the accident?

Doc said...

Lets check the ultra sound... Do you have pictures of that?

jennifer said...

Happy belated Birthday Vince. I hope it was a good one. I love how the truth (?????) has come out in the comments on you blog.

I was unplanned. My brother was born 14 years later 'on purpose'. Either I was a rotten kid or my parents take things pretty sloooooow.

jennifer said...

*ahem* on YOUR blog.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I wandered over here from Bambi's place... Thanks for the giggles from the post and the comments! :)

My older sister was planned, I was apparently not planned, but my younger brother and sister (twins) were always called 'an accident'. ;)

Four Dinners said...

Rather worryingly - in so many many ways - I get the impression you remember being a sperm.

Reality TV awaits!!!!!...;-)

Anyroad...you were an accident.

Aren't we all...one way or another...get over it!!!...;-)

The Mountain Cat said...

Thanks for the support and laughs everyone!

Micky-T said...

It seems.....the boys are back... at YJKOBT. Good stuff!

Eternally Distracted said...

I've always said I was a mistake too... nine months after new year and all!!.. Although my Mother always denies it, until she's drunk!!

E. Diddy said...

Hee hee :)

Heidi Aldin said...

Hi Vin!
Thanks for checking out my blog. Your cousin is featured in my next illustration topic. Luv Ya!
Heidi

nf said...

Interesting! Thats pretty cool! You don’t mind if I come here more often and read your posts do you? I love to blog but only on good subjects. Like this one for instance! Can’t wait till you post something else.