Wouldn't you like to know what the future holds for us? Well I'm going to play the soothsayer on this Friday. What will be the hot topics 5 years from now? Hmmmm????
The Top Ten New Stories for 2013......
10. A new study confirms that exercising causes cancer. McDonalds hamburgers are recommended announced the FDA.
9. Howie Mandell joins UN mission for peace. To pound hands with Iran on Monday.
8. First lady Britney Spears Obama and Sister Mary Paris Hilton-EconoLodge to console devastated Beverly Hills residences as a local shopping mall is torn down.
7. Pulitzer Prize winning bloggers Doc & Mountain Cat to open their You Go Ahead and Keep on Believing That Slip and Slide Water Park at the Six Flags Carowinds in Charlotte, North Carolina.
6. Will Ferrell is tops at the box office this year for his films 'Blades of Glory 3', 'Ricky Bobby 4' and 'Script-less Movie Where Will Ferrell Yells A Lot'.
5. The Chicago Cubs win their 5th consecutive World Series title.
4. Hillary Swank wins her third Oscar for her role in the film 'Butch'.
3. NASA has announced that Daisy the sheep becomes the first cloned animal to be eaten in space.
2. 'Tonight on TMZ; Miley Cyrus: Bankrupt, alone, mother of two and pregnant again. Will she be able to kick her cocaine habit? Plus an exclusive live interview with her father Billy Ray Cyrus from his Folsom Prison cell about the murders of all his daughters boyfriends. His acky-breaky story after the Simpsons.'
And the # 1 New Story from 2013 is....
1. Members of the bands Green Day, U2, Blink 182, Hanson, New Kids on the Block, Beastie Boys, Counting Crows, Black Crowes, Audioslave, Metallica, Dave Matthews Band, R.E.M. and Linkin Park all die of drug overdoses this past year. The Rolling Stones will play a memorial concert on their behalf announced Mick, Keith, Bill and Ron. (Long Live The Rolling Stones!)
Anyone else have any predictions?
Happy Friday.
- The Mountain Cat
7 years later....
2 years ago
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56 comments:
Vin
Love your #1
your lists are the best..
great stuff......
President and vice president Cruise and Travolta Honor Ron L Hubbard for his contribution to the the spiritual journey he led Americans on to elect them into office.
Coming soon to a theatre near you...The movie version of that popular toddler show "Yo Gabba Gabba" with special guest stars Heather Mills and her wooden leg.
Mic the hardest working man in the blogosphere,having returned from his well deserved sailing trip, set about to begin repairs on the fleet of ships for Carnival Cruise Line. It's long over due but they wanted to wait until Mic was available. "I'll be busy for some time" he is quoted as having said in a press release by C.C.L
The ultra sucessful YJKOBT franchise has branched off into the motivational speech business and hires Joel Osteen to promote it's world wide speaking tour.
Nice list totally was chuckling the whole time!
President John McCain announces he will not seek a second term after gasoline prices reach an all time high of $16.50 per gallon and the dollar's value falls behind the Mexican Peso on the world market....
(I am only partially kidding on this one)
Heather Mills to wed Ringo Starr.
If Britney Spears was first lady I'd move to another country lol.
If Britney Spears was first lady I'd move to another country lol.
I think I might join you... Canada maybe. Of course in 5 years Alanis Morisette may be the first lady there.
Nichole Ritchey, finally after
5 years begins to conquer her eating disorder. She tops the scales today at 69.5 pounds. Wow she's been working had at it folks.
"A new study confirms that exercising causes cancer. McDonalds hamburgers are recommended announced the FDA."
I'm also waiting to hear that lead paint causes higher IQ's.
After 5 losing seasons at Citi Field the NY Mets discover that a disgruntled Red sox fan buried a Bill Buckner jersey in the stadium's foundation.
Brett Michaels and Flav a flav teamed up for a reality series: Am I your babies daddy.
April 25, 2013:
"Forbes reports that Cynical Bastard Horn Helmet best selling toy in the world for the fourth year running!"
"President Obama still not answering concerns over Rev. Wright's controversial comments made in 2001."
"President McCain says he's confident that the US is "turning the corner" in the war in Iraq."
"Britney and Jamie Spears both give birth on the same day! Brit to child #7 and Jamie to #5. Each of them have 4 baby daddies though."
"Lindsay Lohan checks out of rehab for the 5th time on the same day Amy Whinehouse checks in for the 8th time."
"Hillary Clinton begins preparations for her Presidential run in 2016."
Ooooooo .. I simulposted with Lu. That's hot! ;-)
Jay, did you feel that too?
Your item one might not be too far fetched. Better get on that.
KISS announces plans to start its 13th farewell tour.
Apple unveils the new 'iPod Infinita'.
It will hold 100 billions songs or 1 photo of Rosie O'Donnell.
MtCat ha ha ha. It comes in a shock resistant crush proof shell in case you can't resist the urge.
Starbucks opens it's first store in Baghdad. 'The Jihadachino' is a popular seller.
In a fight over royalties from the YJKOBT franchise Doc and Mt. Cat agree to have their dispute settled by Judge Joe Brown.
(and Mt. Cat is thrown in jail for contempt of court because of an obscene gesture he uses in court)
Doc's son, Patrick Little wins a Stewie Griffin Imitation contest and wins $100,000. When Doc & Mrs. Doc asks him to share the wealth, Patrick replies, 'Never you vile souls!!'
Oh man what a great list!
all I can add is - Cher announces plans to join KISS's 13th farwell tour. Coming off the heels of her own 20th farwell tour this news left fans clamoring for tickets at the Celine Dion Music Center in each of the 50 states.
The favorite motto of the Chicago Cubs is still "NEXT YEAR"!
Titanic 2 opens up at the NYC IMAX. It is a 3 hour film of just floating dead people.
It sells a billion tickets and wins 10 Oscars.
OJ Simpson... still searching for the "real" killers
JIHADACCHINO!!!!
LMAO
that is the best MTCAT
where do you get your humor
Pat, Well you always say that you 'raised me' so it is not hard to connect the dots!
Macaulay Culkin and Prince Jackson get engaged.
(Yes I know that is very sick).
Macaulay Culkin and Prince Jackson get engaged.
Lemme guess... Blanket will be the best man...errrrrr boy
Suri Cruise begins 3rd stint in rehab.
Blanket will be the best man
Hey Doc, when we both die and go to hell, do you think we will still be able to log onto our blog page??
Hey I am just glad that there are more than 5 people on earth who get our strange sense of humor....
Anne Heche becomes the first human to step foot on Mars. This story gets zero news coverage.
Former Vice President Al Gore is stripped of his Nobel Peace Prize after his drunken outburst at Jenna Bush's wedding reception. Gore confirmed that Global Warming was a "total scam" which he created to get back at world after being denied his rightful presidency. He further confirmed that he did not invent the internet.
The United States of Iraq invades Pakistan because of alleged satellite photos of weapons of mass destruction in the country.
I think the idea of Al Gore even being at Jenna Bush's wedding reception is the most far fetched idea anyone has come up with yet... ROTFL @ Karen
Al Sharpton is wrongly arrested for murder. He asks for help from....damn!
President Hilary Clinton is caught in a compromising situation with a White House Intern. While she claims that she "did not have sexual relations" with the young man, the intern claims to have saved his blue tie containing incriminating DNA.
....and a cigar.
Tom Hanks buys out Donald Trump's Empire. He changes all his hotels names to Gump.
As Washington D.C.'s property values increase dramatically and in an effort to lower the nations taxes, the enitre Unites States government moves to Bagwine, Ohio. A temporary 'White House' has been rented in Matt-Man's basement until a new one is built.
DWTS Season 6 winner Kristi Yamaguchi is stripped of her Disco Ball when reports that she used a stunt double are confirmed.
American Idol now in it's 13 year can no longer get any one to call in and vote, not even the views of YJKOBT will discuss it.
Moon Colony YJKOBT A large group of bloggers who were banned from our planet in 2009 have released a statement to the general populas of Earth. It stated:
We'll be good now, we promise! Can we come back now?
For the sixth straight season, The New England Patriots perfect record is ruined when the New York Giants beat them in the Super Bowl again!
In a related story, Bill Belichick is arrested for the murder of Gisele Bündchen.
...Heather Mills-McCartney-Jagger-Richards-Lennon-Starkey-Watts-Jones-Harrison-Clinton-Trump-Wyman-Yankovic finally dies...
I think I might join you... Canada maybe. Of course in 5 years Alanis Morisette may be the first lady there.
I saw that.....
...Heather Mills-McCartney-Jagger-Richards-Lennon-Starkey-Watts-Jones-Harrison-Clinton-Trump-Wyman-Yankovic finally dies...
She was taken to the emergency room at Cedars Sinai to be treated for overexposure to Pledge from cleaning her leg but it took so long for her to fill the surname portion of the admittance form doctors never got a chance to treat her.
..now THAT's funny,Anndi!!
Heather Mills' body gets 'disposed of' in the wood chipper used in the movie Fargo.
They're all hilarious, but you nailed Hilary Swank! Great job!
LMAO...what a great post...
Love the predictions...
As for Aussie predicitons.. Cricket will cease to exist and so will football because of cruielty to animals, no more throwing the "pig skin" around. Every Cricket player will have joined the elite Heavy Metal Band and all have singles out with the word sport mentioned in every second verse.
Milk will be good for you, but then scientist will say it's bad for you, then good ,then bad, same thing goes with water.. Oh, hang on that's happening already.
We will start an Aussie Wood to compete with Dolly Wood.
Our Priminister will have a punch-up with the queen so that there is no queen and we become a republic.
And there's more but since you have probably not laughed at any of this I will quit while I'm ahead.
Luv Ya...
Lesley
On February 25 2013 the 18th president of south korea will be inaugurated. He was the star of the hit movie "The Replacement Killers" Chao Yun-Phat
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