Monday, February 25, 2008

Things bouncing around this head of mine. 2/25/2008

- The FDA has declared that www.yougoaheadandkeeponbelievingthat.blogspot.com/ contains 95% of your recommended dietary allowance and is an excellent source of protein and fiber.

- What ever happened to Monistat 1 through 6?

- Pinocchio’s porn name should be Woody Splinters.

- Can I write off Girl Scout Cookies on my taxes as a charitable contribution?

- If Reverend Run can go from rap to a preacher, image if Vanilla Ice tried it? His sermon would go something like this: 'If you got a problem, yo he'll solve it. Check out the cross 'cause he's nailed on it! He's Christ, Christ baby. He's Jesus Christ, Christ baby'. (Yup, I am taking the express elevator directly to Hell someday, aren’t I?).

- A new study finds that women who live in places with bright illumination at night are more likely to develop breast cancer. Headlights bad for headlights? Hmmm.

- An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But what if you are studying for you doctorate? Stay away from apples then I guess?

- Hickory dickory doc. Three mice ran up a clock. The clock struck one, while the other two got away with minor injuries.

- I'm going to vote for John McCain as he looks like a guy my dad would hang out with.

- Someday I am going to writing a book on how to be a non-conformist.

- 'Oh yes. Thank you. You Americans are so nice to us foreigners. Yes, I would love a knuckle sandwich. Sounds tasty. Thank you.'

- I wonder if there is a strip club in a Boca Raton, Florida retirement community called Old Wives’ Tails?

- What exactly qualifies as a bitch slap? I can never quite figure that one out.

- When I was a little boy in the mid 1970s I used to think that every celebrity in the world knew each other. For instance Pope John Paul the First and the band members of KISS had each others phone numbers.

- I dated June last April. Then I dated April last May. And I hope to start seeing May this June.

- There is a drink called The 3 Wise Men which is a combination of Johnny Walker Scotch, Jim Beam Bourbon and Jack Daniels Whiskey. Also known as The 3 Js. Then there is a drink called The Four Musketeers which adds Jose Cuervo Tequila to The 3 Js. I feel a headache coming on as I write this. I need to lie down now.

- My Jack Handy profound thought of the day: Humans are always people...but people aren't always humans. Think about it.

- Have you ever heard anyone say, ‘Man, I can't wait until Tuesday!'? Nothing good ever happens on Tuesdays. (Unless of course you are a big American Idol fan?).

- I can't wait for the movie Ernest Goes to Fallujah. It is going to be a big summer hit!

- I once took a wooden nickel. But nothing bad happened.

- And finally I was with my dad in his car last week and he accidentally took an illegal left turn. Then a cop stopped us and asked him ‘Didn’t you see the arrow?’ And my dad’s response was, ‘Arrow? I didn’t even see the Indian?’ The cop thought that was hilarious and let him go with just a warning.

- The Mountain Cat

55 comments:

Micky-T said...

Do you ever do your thinking like this while walking down the street, and if you do, do you ever notice that dogs and children move away from you?

Doc said...

What ever happened to Monistat 1 through 6?

Answer = The same thing that happened to Preperations A through G (and Heinz 1-56)

The Mountain Cat said...

Micky-T, No I am not Michael Vick or Gary Glitter thank you very much! LOL.

Doc, Oh and that reminds me: Someone should ask Roger Clemens if 'roids prevent 'roids? ROTFL!!

Doc said...

That's why he got Brian McNammy to inject him there. (Of course I am still trying to figure out why they had a beer afterwards :o )

The Mountain Cat said...

Clemens is such a rat fink bastard. Some 11 year old has a photo of him at Canseco's party where he met McNamee for the first time. Now Clemens tells his lawyer 'Oh yeah that party! I may have stopped by'. Idiot!

Leighann said...

I'd like to bounce around in your head. It's fun in there.

The Mountain Cat said...

Leighann, Be careful what you wish for! Black is green and green is red and red is blue. It is worse than 'Nam. Hee hee.

Jay said...

I'm glad I get my protein and fiber here. Now I just need to find a blog where I can get all the vitamin C I need.

Doc said...

Jay - I heard that your blog was the one chock full of vitamin C

The Mountain Cat said...

Jay, I use your website as a substitute for Propecia.

Doc said...

Jay's blog can cure pink-eye too (at least thats what the rumor is)

Anonymous said...

Hey, MtCat,

I remember when all that was in your head was waterbugs!!!!!!!

Love,
Cousin Pat

The Mountain Cat said...

My cousin Pat taught me my very first word when I was a toddler: 'Waterbugs'.

Thanks Pat! You had to bring up a painful childhood memory. *sob*.

Christine said...

Tuesdays? That's Word Game Day!

Jahooni said...

i was thinking that Tuesday was a pretty cool day too (being Word Game Day) and i am going to start propositions with Doc if I don't win this week! ;)~

TMC-your kidding about McCain right?

Leighann said...

Mt Cat, you can't intimidate me!

Jahooni, back up off my Doc! I don't like odd numbers and MUST get another peach!

Doc said...

I already have the Tuesday word game all typed up and it is ready to go!

It looks like it will be a no holds barred fight for the peach !!

The Mountain Cat said...

Sis, wow you remembered our schedule. What a fan you are!

Jahooooooooooooooooooooooni, Actually that McCain line is something I paraphrased from college which Doc thought was hilarious. Doc, explain the original quote from me please.

Leighann, Ooh I forgot you have a lasso. I'm in big trouble!

Doc said...

The original line is about Jim Colbert a Sr. PGA Tour golfer. Vin says That guy is my favorite golfer and I said why? He says "Because he looks like someone my Dad would hang out with" I thought it was funny (and just plain silly)and remind him of it often....but jahooni don't let him fool you. He woudl vote for McCain if he actually went out to vote. Vin is one of those who I don't talk politics with because he disagrees with me but if I don't get him all riled up he will forget to vote... So I just say nothing.

Jahooni said...

shame on you TMC! i shall say nothing as well... ;)~ but i am just a little suprised that you and doc are best friends but sometimes it seems that you are both are so opposite from each other. does anyone agree with me?

lots of "oooooooooooooo's" today! i am in a good mood so i will not say anything about that! ;)~


Leighann,
i will fight to the death.

The Mountain Cat said...

Jahoooni, Believe me NO ONE is more surpirse than Doc or myself that we've remained friends!
(I will conserve the o's).

As American as Apple Pie said...

Thanks for turning me on to your blog, Doc. You guys crack me up! I will be checking frequently for a dose of comic relief, which you know I need in my job!

BTW--I love Tuesdays b/c they are not Mondays, Wednesdays, or Thursdays! :p

Doc said...

^^^^^ Speaking of people who are voting for McCain

Welcome Apple! Yes you sure can use a chuckle from time to time...

Single In The City said...

Again, You have me just sitting and laughing, How do You come up with this stuff????

Single!

As American as Apple Pie said...

I never said I was voting for him. I just said I couldn't vote for any of the others. ;-)

The Mountain Cat said...

Single, There isn't much to do in Manhattan so I get bored very easily.

As American...., welcome to our mad world!

Leighann said...

Mt Cat: You're darn right I have a lasso, and I know how to use it too!

Jahooni: I fight dirty baby!

The Mountain Cat said...

C-C-Cat fight! Yes! Meow! puurrrr....

Jahooni said...

i pull hair. hard baby! ;-)

Doc said...

Vin... 1st hush they are fighting over the Peach (and it's not even Tuesday yet) and second I must warn you that this newcomer "Apple" is one of those Starbucks people who talks in that funny "Venti" language.

HAAAAA!

(oh and I refuse to refer to her as Apple Pie - maybe I should start calling her carrot cake - She would love that)

LOL!

The Mountain Cat said...

'Bye Bye Miss Venti Pie. Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry.'

Leighann said...

Jahooni I'll tie you up with my lasso!

Leighann said...

And then I'll spank you so hard you won't walk right fora week!

Doc said...

:o

Leighann said...

Don't get in my way Doc, or you'll get some too!

I told ya I fight dirty!

The Mountain Cat said...

I'm in heaven!

Doc said...

and I'm scared !!!

Jahooni said...

i think you would knock me out in round one with those boobies! ;-)
but i aint' scared, bring it on girlfriend! ;)~

The Mountain Cat said...

Girls did I mention there is a mud wrestling rink near my home in Jersey? Just in case you are interested (:-).....

Jahooni said...

where is Dana? she can't win "again" either!

TMC-Jersey? I always wanted to go there! ;)~

The Mountain Cat said...

Come on up! Jersey is a great place. Pay no attention to what you hear on the news.

Leighann said...

Me and Jahooni covered in mud.... writhing and grunting

Wait, what was I going to say?

Jahooni said...

Maybe TMC should create an award, maybe I would get Luckier with him ;)~

The Mountain Cat said...

I like to get lucky...oops did I say that out loud? hee hee.

As American as Apple Pie said...

Well, there went the PG rating.

No, you may not call me carrot cake, YUK! You may refer to me either as Apple or Apple Pie. Doc, what's your prob with that?

Just because I frequent such establishments does not mean that I speak their language. I don't know why they just can't call it coffee either. They just want to feel special like the rest of us.

Doc said...

I knew that carrot cake would get a rise out of you Apple! HAHAHAHHAA !!

Karen said...

Mt. Cat, you never cease to crack me up with I need a lift. Thanks.

Becky said...

What ever happened to Monistat 1 through 6?

No idea.

Not sure I want to know :)

The Mountain Cat said...

Thank you Karen!

Becky, Is the '7' in Monistat 7 like the SPF in suntan lotion? hmmmm

Doc said...

Hey Vin... how do you like Apple's defending of the Starbucks language: "They just want to feel special like the rest of us."

Ummm Apple... you just go ahead and keep on believing that...

frankie bondo said...

I used to know a guy who, when asked what he was up to, was known to reply,"...just Tuesday-nightin' it"....Tuesday...the non-est of days...

random moments said...

Lol, awesome thoughts. I needed a good laugh this morning. :)

Bina said...

Dang! You got a lot of comments on this one!

Bitch Slap

I'm a bitch and I slap someone for the pure joy of it.

A woman is a bitch so I slap her cause she is being a bitch to me.

A man/woman is acting like a bitch so I slap them so they will snap out of it!

I once slapped a man at a club. He called me a bitch because I wouldn't dance with him. I called him an asshole. He slapped me, I slapped him back, he grabbed me by the neck and we went down! He got drug out of there, arrested, and kicked out of the military. Seems it wasn't his first time at being drunk and disordely, and I bet if he had gotten bitch slapped more than once, that never would have happened!

Bina said...

By the way, I LOVE the Vanilla Ice thing.

The Mountain Cat said...

Thanks Bina. I'd hate to meet you in a dark alley. Yikes!