Friday, January 25, 2008

Things bouncing around this head of mine. 1/25

- HAMAS’ SPECIAL WEEKEND DISPENSATION! This weekend and this weekend only all suicide bombers will get 96 virgins instead of the usually 72 virgins when they go to see Allah. But you better act now before the Shams sets over Gush Katif!

- A son tells his parents ‘For my birthday I wanna watch.’ So they let him.

- I couldn’t find my wallet yesterday. So I went to Wikipedia.com which told me to check under my bed. Sure enough there it was.

- Am I the only one who preferred Shemp over Curley?

- I decided to finally make a decision where my deciding point of view determines the decisions of the decided few I care to decide about.

- The official theme song of stem cell research should be: ‘I’m Just an Embryo/I Ain’t Got No Body’.

- CDs are soooooo 20th century.

- “Our father, who art in heaven. Howard be thy name.”

- I am going to make a concerted effort to use the word ‘stalwart’ more in my daily conversations.

- I’m sorry but two ones SHOULD equal eleven!

- I wrote a country song! It’s called ‘Fuck It’s Only Tuesday’.

- Is Beef Jerky really that popular? I’ve never met anyone that eats it.

- My dad and I don’t get along. So when he needed a heart transplant, I made the doctor hook it up to The Clapper.

- I suffer from Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia. But only on Fridays.

- There just aren’t enough movies about Bob Dylan lately.

- I think Gallagher and The Smashing Pumpkins should tour together. Wouldn’t that be great!?

- Mickey Mouse is such an asshole. I never cared much for his attitude.

- Contrary to popular belief, the opposite is true when the court of public opinion is against the feelings of the majority who vote for a change in the prescribed point of views. But only on Fridays.

- ‘We’ll be right back to the Lifetime original movie ‘The Vulva Diaries’ after these important commercial messages’.

- ‘Wow what great movie! The special effects were awesome!! The best scene is when that fat guy exploded!! I am going to see again this weekend on the IMAX!!’

The Mountain Cat

23 comments:

Dana said...

Ummm ... sometimes I worry about you! Oh, and my som LOVES beef jerky!

Doc said...

I never knew why Minnie hung around with him in the first place.

The Mountain Cat said...

Dana:
To quote Maximus Decimus Meridius, 'ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED??'

Doc:
Mickey acts like he is your friend but deep down he is just...well a rat!

Jahooni said...

what was in your cereal this morning? ;-)

Doc said...

I thought Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia was the fear of global warming... but what do I know?

The Mountain Cat said...

Jahooooooni:
White wine and a banana.

Doc: No you dumb ass!!
That's Hezakosioihezekontahezaphobia. I can't believe you don't fucking know that???

Doc said...

BTW - If the Muslin extremists start a jihad against us because of that virgins post up there I am giving them your addy. I don't want them coming after me...

Doc said...

BTW redeux - that the clapper line is supposed to be about a pacemaker...not a heart
transplant. You can't hook a human heart up to a clapper...

The Mountain Cat said...

Doc:
Dude a heart transplant means you get a new heart. Therefore, it is still possible to hook it up to the clapper.

Doc said...

Vin I got 8 words for you....

"You go ahead and keep on believing that."

The Mountain Cat said...

Doc:

OLA!

leapofaith said...

Vin - sorry, but I'm with Doc on the clapper thing...and to take it one step further, hook his pacemaker up to the clapper and then take him to any sporting event!

As for the rest of your thoughts, you're definitely in extra-rare form today...however, I am amused! Maybe it's the cold meds that are getting to your brain, huh?!? LOL!!!!!!!!!!

leapofaith said...

Vin - sorry, but I'm with Doc on the clapper thing...and to take it one step further, hook his pacemaker up to the clapper and then take him to a game!

As for the rest of your thoughts, you're definitely in extra-rare form today...however, I am amused! Maybe it's the cold meds that are getting to your brain, huh?!? LOL!!!!!!!!!!

leapofaith said...

ummm...don't know what happened up there - call it technical difficulties. I wanna go home...!

Jay said...

Yeah that jihad joke just got you on the terrorist watch list dude. Get ready for the full body search next time you have to fly anywhere. ;-)

The Mountain Cat said...

Leapofaith:
I am having Nyquil hallucinations.

Jay:
Actually our blog site is popular in Tel Aviv. But we had to change to the name to 'You Just Keep on Praying to That'. (I know that makes no sense).

DirkStar said...

Doh...

The AbsolutGator said...

Beef Jerky...hmmmmm.

Try living in the same city w/ the big rat. (Read Carl Hiaasen's Team Rodent: How Disney Devours the World.)

Topping the Vulva Diaries is a new commercial for an at-home pregnancy test. It shows the stick getting splashed by a stream of warm water. I knew how it worked and really didn't need that visualization.

Matt-Man said...

Are you kidding me. I LOVE beef jerkey (And Slim Jims). I think it is also good for you. Has Vitamin C in it...or something. Cheers!!

Jahooni said...

Beef Jerky... ewww! Is that the same as Tabacco?

PattiB said...

Vin
I knew you were destined for greatness...your off beat humor and poorly timed anectdotes may eventually make you famous.Glad to be your cuz...dont quit your day job Bud Pat

The Mama Bear said...

"I think Gallagher and The Smashing Pumpkins should tour together. Wouldn’t that be great!?"

I concur!

ZenDenizen said...

Disney in general irks me...