Hello boys & girls

Today's lesson is: Don't take candy from strangers.

Happy Thursday.

- The Mountain Cat

Careful With that Axe, David.

Last week we discussed our favorite rock drummers.
So today lets move to our favorite rock guitarists.
This will be be fun as there are so many great guitar players over several genres. So lets debate. Here are my favorites:

1. David Gilmour - Pink Floyd (Best guitar solos ever).
2. Jimi Hendrix - (The God of riffs!)
3. Jimmy Page - Led Zeppelin (His Holiness rocks).
4. Eric Clapton - (Slowhand can do it all).
5. Eddie Van Halen - (He changed hard rock forever).

- The Mountain Cat

Word Game Winner

You guys make this harder and harder each week to come up with a winner for Word Game. Yesterday the entries were all funny as heck. Thank you all for making Tuesday afternoons so much fun for me.
I went back and re-read this morning and since I have to pick only one I decided to go with an entry from my favorite clay pigeon shooter who is now going by NuLu (I prefer to call her Lulita) and posts the blog PAGREENERY for this hilarious entry:

Rumors have surfaced that she is also accused of trying to order the energy commission to harness her flatulance to power some small towns and give her monetary kick backs, or pie.

Lulita you crack me up... Come and get your peach baby!

Thanks again everyone who played and please don't forget to join us this coming Tuesday from noon until 5 pm for Peachfest !!

-Doc

Tuesday Word Game 5/13/08

I searched and searched the newswires trying to find something good for this weeks Tuesday word game and I think I found something. Now I usually take the position that there is nothing really funny about judicial misconduct when it's a serious violation of the law however this article about a district court Judge in Las Vegas made me change my opinion. If you give this article a read it's hilarious what this judge supposedly got away with. My favorite of course is the allegation that she put her own husband under oath to ask him if he had done his chores! LOL! If she would do that she is capable of anything.

For Tuesday word game this week lets make up some other outrageous things this judge may have done. Complete the following passage from the real news story with a really good abuse of power that this motorized scooter driving crazy power mad judge may have done. The best answer gets a peach:

LAS VEGAS - Elizabeth Halverson is a judge. But the way courthouse staffers see it, she expects to be treated like a queen.
Her former bailiff, for example, says Halverson made him feel like a "houseboy." He says the judge — who is obese and uses a motorized scooter to get around — made him put her shoes on her feet, massage her back, cover her with a blanket for naps and make sure her oxygen tank was filled. He says she asked him, "Do you want to worship me from near or afar?"
Halverson also surrounded herself with her own hired guards, saying she did not trust the courthouse security force to protect her. Another time, she allegedly had her husband sworn in so that she could ask him under oath if he had completed chores at home.
Since then, the 50-year-old Nevada district judge has been locked out of her Las Vegas courtroom, suspended from the bench and brought up on judicial-misconduct charges that include not only misusing her position and treating her staff like personal valets, but also tainting juries and falling asleep on the bench.

Rumors have surfaced that she is also accused of _______________________ .

Answer as often as you like in a comment and may the best answer win... Plus don't forget NEXT TUESDAY is a special edition of Tuesday Word Game for PEACHFEST! Make sure you have some time to drop by next Tuesday afternoon.

-Doc

Dancing with the Stars--Week 9

It's the Semi-Finals!!! I'm sure you are all excited for different reasons. I am excited because that means the best dances are coming up. I know some of you (Doc) are excited because that means this will all be over next week. Whichever camp you sit in, I encourage you to watch the finals next Monday night.

This week the dances were chosen at random (yeah, right). It's supposed to look that way, but it did seem quite contrived in how the dances matched up with the Stars.

Jason drew the Foxtrot and Pas a Doble. The Foxtrot was his first dance from week one and he has improved greatly. I don't know what his problem from the past 2 weeks was, but it didn't follow him tonight. He had much better content and his steps were confident and fluid.

I know that Marissa must have a huge fan base that is keeping her in the running but I don't think she belongs in the finals. She just doesn't have the special something that the other dancers have. The Quickstep was fairly good but the Rumba lacked passion. I agree with Carrie Ann in that it lacked excitement and that is what you need at this stage.

Two weeks ago I said that Cristian should have bowed out because of his arm injury. I was wrong. He has really rallied against that and has become a great dancers. Tonight he got the chance to redo the Viennese Waltz and Samba and show everyone that his arm is not an obstacle to great dancing. He's definately doing better than Heather Mills on her wooden leg!

Kristi has reclaimed her spot at the top. She came out with the Tango that showed a lot of emotion. I have to agree with Len though on that it seemed hectic at times. She finished out the night with the Jive which was fun but I felt there was something missing. The judges said it was very difficult choreography and it could have been the timing as Carrie Ann pointed out. I'm not sure, it was just not as good as the previous Jive.

Again for this week, I pick Marissa to leave. I would be very disappointed to see any of the others go. The Finals should be quite a showdown. I'm looking forward to it!

-As American as Apple Pie

New-Age Political Correctness

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America; Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.' You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore...

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' -- She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She is not 'EASY' -- She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' -- She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' -- She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you -- She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE !'

6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' -- She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' -- He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' -- He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' -- He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' -- He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL A$$' -- He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

What other PC terms can you come up with?

-As American as Apple Pie

Weekly Poll 5/12

Good Monday to everyone. I hope that you had a great weekend, especially all the mothers. Last week dogs and cats topped the poll as the most popular pets. Heck even several people had turtles. Thank you for voting as always.
This week's poll is going to focus on technology. Modern convenience devices that have come along to make our lives "better." Specifically asking what device you would not be able to live without. The list to choose from includes cell phone, digital camera, computer (access to the internet) , i-pod, Tivo/DVR, or video gaming console. If all of these items were to be possibly taken away from you which of these devices could you simply not live without? You have to choose just one!
Please vote in the poll and comment as you wish.

-Doc

Happy Mother's Day

From all of us at YJKOBT to our Mothers and to all Mothers everywhere... Have a happy Mother's Day.... We Love you all and appreciate you more than you know.

- Doc, Absolut, Apple, & The Mt. Cat