The Tale of Lonesome George the Tortoise

Last week we learned about Lucky the koala so this week I wanted to bring you another animal story. Here we find lonesome George the Galapagos giant tortoise. Kind of like Lucky the news media is getting involved in his personal life because it seems that Ole George has finally started getting frisky now that he is over 60 years of age. Apparently he is the last of a whole species of tortoises but he has never wanted to breed with his two female companions during the last 36 years until now. He has finally done the deed and is going to have some kids. YAY for George. Here is the thing, once again the people are busy just putting George's business out there for the rest of the world to read. In this story they go so far as to say that they thought George was impotent (or gay) because they went so far as to include this line: "After trying almost everything from artificial insemination to having George watch younger males mate, his keepers had nearly lost hope." Come on now did ya'll really have to go there and try to shame ole George into mating by making him watch young tortoise porn?
This is the second week in a row that the news media is taking us too far into the sex lives of poor animals and I am calling out the hypocrisy. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS ! I am going to form a group to help out these poor animals who the media keeps exploiting because they cannot speak up for themselves and I suggest you all join. This new group will be called KABOOM! (Keep Animal's Business Out Of the Media!) This group will explode onto the scene and we will strive to point out animal business hypocrisy wherever we see it. Please join with me in the fight to help protect these animals who have no one else to stand up for them. If you see the media putting an animal's business out there then call them out on it! Together we can make a difference. Thank you.

-Doc (founder of KABOOM!)

The incredible tale of Lucky the koala

Ladies and gents meet Lucky. Lucky is a koala who was recently named Australia's luckiest marsupial after a heck of a wild ride. It seems that poor lucky got hit by a car recently and got his head wedged in the car's grill and was dragged at 60 mph down the road for about 8 miles. Lucky survived because another motorist flagged down the oblivious driver and was then rescued by being cut out of the grill by scissors.
"To have him survive and virtually unscathed is quite miraculous," Australian Wildlife Hospital spokeswoman Carolyn Beaton told Reuters.
Now if that had been all of the story it would have been great and a happy ending but they had to take the story one step further and kill poor Lucky's joy. The last sentence of the story reads as follows and I promise I am not making this up:
Lucky will stay at the hospital, set up by the late television wildlife and crocodile crusader Steve Irwin, for 45 days to recover from his experience and receive treatment for a chlamydial infection.
Now why did they have to do that to poor Lucky? He barely escapes with his life and not only does he have to go to some crocodile hospital but the news has to report that the poor guy has a STD. Why did they have to throw him under the bus like that? (I know poor metaphor right) Couldn't they just leave well enough alone without pointing that fact that ole Lucky apparently got lucky with the wrong lady koala? What's next? Is he going to need therapy to recover from the trauma of having his business splashed on the front page? Or is he going to end up in rehab after getting addicted to the painkillers? Oh well, I guess poor Lucky just can't catch a break.

-Doc