What's in a Name?

Ever wonder how some sports teams got their nicknames?

Here are a few that did not last...

The Top Ten Rejected Sports Team Nicknames:

10. The Pensacola Profos.
9. The Mighty Fighting Toad Stools.
8. The Provincetown 69ers.
7. The Malihini Shipwreckers.

6. The Mexican Fence Jumping Beans.

5. The Carolina Cancer.

4. The Louisiana Levee Breakers.

3. The Plano Polygamists.
2. The San Jose Cansecos.

And the Number One Rejected Sports Team Nickname is:

1. The Manila Folders.

Did I miss any folks?
Happy Friday.

- The Mountain Cat

Awarding the awards

I've been real slack lately on this blog. Maybe it is due to the nice weather we've been having and it dumbs me down........

......sorry, what was I saying?

Oh yes....awards. I owes some awards to my loyal readers of my Friday's Top Ten Lists for the last two weeks. All your comments were just fantabulous. Therefore, I will give my awards to EVERYONE! You can pick whichever one you like below. Enjoy!

Oh shoot how did the last two photos get in there??? Oops.

- The Mountain Cat

PS: I am not in the office on Monday! Yeeeehaaawww!!!

Cites and the City

Well it is finally here folks!!!!!!!!!!

The Sex & the City Movie!!!!!!!!

Aren't you excited????????????????
I know I am!!!!!!!! (satire)

For those of you who are new to this blog, please read my previous story: Snax and the City.
For those of you who are old to this blog, I give you...

The Top Ten Things Overheard at the Sex & the City Movie Premiere at Radio City

10. 'Without giving away the ending; Mr. Big is really Mr. Small'.

9. 'Really, Mario Cantone is gay??? Who'd a thunk it?'

8. 'Cynthia Nixon is not gay. I just saw her holding hand with some guy...Oh that's woman??? She dresses like a man!'

7. 'Shhh! Yes I did sleep with Kim once. But please dude, don't tell my wife Sarah.'

6.'Sarah, I just saw your movie and I loved it!'

5.'Sarah, I just saw your movie.'

4. 'Isn't Charlotte husband the same actor who played Captain Picard on Star Trek Enterprise?'

3. 'Mommy, what does tea-bagging mean?'

2. 'Ah shoot, I broke a nail! What would Carrie do in this situation?'

And the number one Thing Overheard at the Sex & the City Movie Premiere at Radio City is....

1. 'Nah forget it. Lets go see the new Raiders movie instead'.

Any other funnies folks?

Happy Friday.

- The Mountain Cat

As American As Apple Cores

Friday's Top Ten Rejected Dessert Products:

10. Billy Graham Crackers.
9. Cookies & Goo.
8. Back to School Pencil & Erase flavored Ice Cream Pops.
7. Fruit Rolling Papers.
6. Darryl’s Strawberries.
5. Chocolate Mouse Cake.
4. Beef Cobbler.
3. Pits & Stems Trail Mix.
2. Prune Brûlée.

And the #1 Rejected Dessert Product is....

1. Baracklava.

Any more rejects folks?

Happy Friday I leave work at 2 o'clock! WHOOHOO!!

- The Mountain Cat

It's Friday folks...

That means it is time again for my Top Ten List. So in the grand tradition of Sir George Carlin I give you....

My Top Ten People I Can Do Without:

10. An airline pilot who sounds like Elmer Fudd.

9. Any Italian who prefers the food of The Olive Garden.

8. Anyone who orders a Diet Coke with their Big Mac and large fries.

7. Any man who carries wet naps.

6. A lawyer who answers the phone 'yellow?'

5. A woman with a tattoo under her hair.

4. Any man who calls other people 'yahoos'. 'Gee Dan, that guy is a real yahoo!'

3. A shoe salesman who wears pink socks.

2. A hooker who accepts food stamps.

And the number one person I can do without is:

1. Any member of the clergy that regularly eats at Chuck E. Cheese.

Any other people you can do without?

- The Mountain Cat

Na Na Nananana Na Na Na Nananana Na

Sassy Mama Bear is the winner of this weeks' Misheard Song Lyrics' Lion Kiss Award for completely destroying the lyrics to Centerfold by J. Geils Band. The correct verse is 'My Angel is a Centerfold. But instead Sassy Mama Bear wrote: "My anus is the center hole."

Too funny. Congratulation. Your family will be proud! Come on down and claim your prize:

Thank you everyone for playing. Have a great weekend.

- The Mountain Cat

Misheard lyrics

I love rock and pop music. But what the hell are they saying sometimes???

The Top Ten Misheard Song Lyrics:

10. Ground control to Mao Tse-tung (Space Oddity by David Bowie)

9. My mama said canary love, you'll just have to wait. (Can't Hurry Love the Phil Collins version).

8. Platform dickheads, restless anals, goodbye you hoes. (White Room by Cream)

7. Save a whale save a whale save a whale. (Sail Away by Enya).

6. My love for you will still be strong after the poison summer has gone. (Boys of Summer by Don Henley)

5. Take your pants down, and make it happen! (Flashdance (Oh What a Feeling) by Irene Cara)

4. Homos is all we are, homos is all we are, homos is all we are... (All Apologies by Nirvana)

3. It doesn't matter what they say, in the jealous games people play, hey hey hey, Alex the seal. (Our Lips are Sealed by The Go-Go's)

2. Last night I dreamt of some A-holes. (La Isla Bonita by Madonna)

1. Buddy you're a young man hard man, shoutin in the street gonna take on the world some day. You got blood on your face, you big disgrace, wavin' your bladder all over the place. We will we will rock you! Sing it, ta! (We Will Rock You by Queen)

Want a Lion Kiss?
Any others?
Doc, I saved the best one for you....

Happy Friday

- The Mountain Cat

States of the States

With the United States economy in flux, a lot of our 50 states are now rethinking their image and have come up with new hip slogans to help promote themselves to consumers. So for now I give you....

The Top Ten New State Mottos

10. NEW MEXICO: Come. Stay. Enjoy. All Ours Doors are Open.

9. COLORADO: Get High on Our Thin Air Supply.

8. NORTH CAROLINA: 'Em 'Err Sho' Nuff' U Sum Beech.

7. RHODE ISLAND: Please Visit Us on Your Way to Boston. Please.

6. TEXAS: Killing Criminals since 1845.

5. OKLAHOMA: Oklahoma! Oklahoma! Oklahoma! Oklahoma! Oklahoma!

4. NEVADA: Come Turn Tricks With Us.

3. IOWA: Boredom Can Be Still Fun!

2. FLORIDA: Ratón de Mickey Venido de la Visita! Arriba! Arriba!

1. NEW JERSEY: How Da Fuck Are Ya Today?

Any others ones that I missed?
Happy Friday.

- The Mountain Cat

The Lion Goes Down Under

My favorite comment on my Friday's Top Ten New Stories Goes for 2013 is from our Australian blogster Lesley who wrote this off the wall rant:

As for Aussie predictions.. Cricket will cease to exist and so will football because of cruelty to animals, no more throwing the "pig skin" around. Every Cricket player will have joined the elite Heavy Metal Band and all have singles out with the word sport mentioned in every second verse.Milk will be good for you, but then scientist will say it's bad for you, then good ,then bad, same thing goes with water.. Oh, hang on that's happening already.We will start an Aussie Wood to compete with Dolly Wood.Our Prime Minister will have a punch-up with the queen so that there is no queen and we become a republic.And there's more but since you have probably not laughed at any of this I will quit while I'm ahead.Luv Ya...Lesley

Lesley therefore you win a....
I couldn't find a horny kangaroo so I hope this will do Lesley? Please visit her blog at Lesley's Life & Other Happenings. Great work Lesley as well as everyone else!

- The Mountain Cat

Mountain Cat to the Future!

Wouldn't you like to know what the future holds for us? Well I'm going to play the soothsayer on this Friday. What will be the hot topics 5 years from now? Hmmmm????

The Top Ten New Stories for 2013......

10. A new study confirms that exercising causes cancer. McDonalds hamburgers are recommended announced the FDA.

9. Howie Mandell joins UN mission for peace. To pound hands with Iran on Monday.

8. First lady Britney Spears Obama and Sister Mary Paris Hilton-EconoLodge to console devastated Beverly Hills residences as a local shopping mall is torn down.

7. Pulitzer Prize winning bloggers Doc & Mountain Cat to open their You Go Ahead and Keep on Believing That Slip and Slide Water Park at the Six Flags Carowinds in Charlotte, North Carolina.

6. Will Ferrell is tops at the box office this year for his films 'Blades of Glory 3', 'Ricky Bobby 4' and 'Script-less Movie Where Will Ferrell Yells A Lot'.

5. The Chicago Cubs win their 5th consecutive World Series title.

4. Hillary Swank wins her third Oscar for her role in the film 'Butch'.

3. NASA has announced that Daisy the sheep becomes the first cloned animal to be eaten in space.

2. 'Tonight on TMZ; Miley Cyrus: Bankrupt, alone, mother of two and pregnant again. Will she be able to kick her cocaine habit? Plus an exclusive live interview with her father Billy Ray Cyrus from his Folsom Prison cell about the murders of all his daughters boyfriends. His acky-breaky story after the Simpsons.'

And the # 1 New Story from 2013 is....

1. Members of the bands Green Day, U2, Blink 182, Hanson, New Kids on the Block, Beastie Boys, Counting Crows, Black Crowes, Audioslave, Metallica, Dave Matthews Band, R.E.M. and Linkin Park all die of drug overdoses this past year. The Rolling Stones will play a memorial concert on their behalf announced Mick, Keith, Bill and Ron. (Long Live The Rolling Stones!)

Anyone else have any predictions?
Happy Friday.

- The Mountain Cat

The Pope Got Knight-ed

The winner for my favorite comment on my Top Ten Things Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America goes to Knight for her comment…..

Bless the Times Square vendor's hot dog water into holy water. Mmmmm Holy Hot Dogs.

For those of you who live in New York like Knight and I know that the vendor’shot dog water definitely needs to be blessed! Very funny Knight!

Therefore, Knight you win a Lion Kiss! Congrats!


Please stop by Knight’s blog page at: Knight's Knacht-Up Ramblings.

Hope you all are having a great weekend.

- The Mountain Cat

I Hope for Pope Soap on a Rope?? Ahhh, Nope!

Pope Benedict XVI is in Manhattan as we speak. I will try to get a glimpse of him when he stops by St. Patrick's Cathedral this afternoon. But since midtown is on such a lock down, I doubt I will get to see him.

Any who, I wonder what he wants to accomplish while he is here?

Hmmmm??

The Top Ten Things Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America.....

10. Change the Catholic mass celebratory wine and wafer to beer and wienerschnitzel (Well he is German).

9. Make that red Pope hat fashionable.

8. Buy knock off Gucci wallets and sunglasses from a street corner 'salesman'.

7. To promote the manufacturing of his Pope Mobile which has 40 MPG on the street, 50 MPG on the highway.

6. Exercise the Chicago Cubs 100 year curse of not winning the World Series.

5. Go to a New York Ranger playoff game and yell 'Potvin Sucks!'

4. Take the Sex & the City bus tour.

3. At mass at St. Patrick Cathedral, tell the crowd that Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code will replace the King James Bible. Cough. Then laugh. Then yell 'Fool you!'

2. Go out 'clubbing' with Jenna Bush and her friends.

And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....

1. Make Oprah kiss his feet.

Any other warped ideas folks to compete for my Lion Award??? Happy Friday.

- The Mountain Cat

(Disclaimer: I truly love my Pope and I have a very strong faith in God. I hope they both know this blog is purely satire. Amen).

Friday's Top Ten List - April 11th.

It seems like more and more there are new retirement home communities and developments that are being built across this great nation of ours. However, it is often very difficult to find the right one for our senior loved ones when that time comes where they need 'special attention' you can't or don't have time to provide (You know who you are and you should feel guilty about it dammit!).....But I digress.....Seriously now, I did some research and I came up with a list of the best quality retirement communities. However I must warn you, these communities have some weird and ironic names, but they will give you dear old folks the top notch attention they deserve in their Golden Years.

I give you The Top Ten Retirement Home Communities:

10. White Light Heights
9. Novena’s Passage
8. Flat Line Farms
7. The 9th Inning Inn for Retired Professional Ball Players.
6. Cadaverous Meadows
5. Cemetarista
4. Fading Creek
3. Peat Moss Manor
2. Lime & Daisies Botanical Compost Crossings
1. Happy Trails at The Last Resort

If anyone is interested in any information on these places, I do have the addresses for them if want? LOL

Does anyone know of any other high quality Retirement Home Communities?

The best recommendation will win a Lion Award!

- The Mountain Cat

The McVietnam Song

The winner for the best comment for my Friday’s The Top Ten Worst McDonald's Food Ideas goes to Phrankie Bondo who wrote:

The Country Joe McDonald Burger: "Gimme an F...gimme an I...gimme an S...gimme an H"

Very funny play on Country Joe McDonald & the Fish’s Vietnam Song as performed live from Woodstock. And considering how advertisers like to reminisce about the 1960s and Woodstock, this vulgar rant by Country Joe probably would never be used as a parody to help sell burgers and Filet O' Fishs! LOL

Phfankie Bondo, to quote McDonalds ‘I’m Lovin’ It!’ You win a Golden Lion!

Please stop by Phfankie Bondo's blog page, ~Steamboat Slough~ , at http://shadygrove999.blogspot.com/.

Y’all have a great Sunday.

- The Mountain Cat

Friday's Top Ten List

What is your favorite McDonald's food product? I hope it is none of these...

The Top Ten Worst McDonald's Food ideas.

10. McHaggis
9. Pom Frites Donaldaux
8. Edible McUndies
7. The Feel Happy Meal co-sponsored by Zoloft
6. The Grimace House charity quadruple bypass cheese burger.
5. McHalloween party pack including an official John Wayne Gacy clown outfit.
4. Orca Sized Meals.
3. Mayor McCheese's 'special sauce'
2. Is it McBeef, Chicken, Fish or all three? You guess right and have your meal Super Sized for free.
1. The Senator John McMcCain diabetic Veggie low cholesterol meal for seniors.

Do y'all know of any other bad ideas from our favorite fast food giant? A Lion Award awaits for the best one....

Have a great Friday. I am off today from work and therefore I am going back to sleep now.

- The Mountain Cat

Hip Hop Harry and I....

...don't know who to give my Lion Award too. I ask all my fans to please vote. Who should win for the best comment for the most obscure hip-hopper? Midnight Saturday is the deadline.

Have a good weekend.

- TMC

Friday's Top Ten List - 3/28/08

In the world of Rap and Hip-Hop there are an infinite number of artists that never make it big. Probably because most of them suck. They have nothing original to say and are just 'posers' of bigger Rap/Hip-Hop artists. Just like Hip Hop Harry!

So for today's Top Ten List I give you the....

Top Ten Most Obscure Rap/Hip-Hoppers

10. 6Pac
9. The Notorious F.A.T.
8. Howdy Diddy
7. Kid Barack
6. M.C. Donald & D.J. Jazzy Grimace
5. Chuck Eazy-E Cheese
4. Cypress Hillary
3. N.W.I. (Niggaz While Intoxicated).
2. Busta LeAnn Rimes
1. The Asian rapper Vanirra Rice.
Rice rice baby! He's Vanirra Rice, Rice baby! Don't be offended. It's all in good fun :0)

Ok folks it is your turn. Let me know about some other obscure Rap/Hip-Hop artists and you can win a Mountain Lion Award!

Have a great Friday.

- The Mountain Cat

***** Also, I left two fake rappers out of this list that are dear to Doc and I.

Doc will explain further in a future blog about one of our old roommates. Stay tuned.***** - TMC

And the winner is....

It was a tough choice but I got the most laughs from my cousin Pat B's comment for the

Best Rejected Adult Film Title:

Blow Hard, Die Happy.

Maybe because I can picture you saying this in front of our prudish family. Hahahaha!

Therefore Patty you win a Golden Lion:

And Pat, since you are family, a Lion Kiss Award would be too gross!

Anyway, we are all glad your hospital stay didn't take away your sense of humor. Infact I think it enhanced it!

Thank you everyone for your participation! Have a great weekend.

- The Mountain Cat.

Friday's Top Ten List: March 21st

OK OK OK, I know I have been accused of bringing the R rating to this little blogsphere, but sometimes I can't help myself. Well today's list I guess I've raised the bar just a bit (Or lowered it depending upon your view point). So without further adieu, I bring you...

The Top Ten Rejected Adult Film Titles:

10. The Shawshank Copulation

9. Who Rammed Roger Rabbit

8. Hotel Screw Wanda

7. Shaving Ryan's Privates

6. On the Waterbed

5. Full Metal Bambi

4. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Pearl Necklace

3. The Grape Bags of Wrath

2. No Country for Oiled Men

And the number one rejected adult film title is:

1. Forrest Hump


OK folks what other rejected adult film titles can you think of? The best one wins one of my Lion awards. And I promise never to be naughty again.

- The Mounting Cat (oops)

Friday’s Top Ten List for March 14th

Now that Eliot Spitzer has stepped down as Governor in shame for the ‘quality time’ he spent with a high class call girl, I did some research on other political scandals throughout American history. As it turns out, there have been a lot more scandals that have not gotten much press for some odd reasons. So for today’s top ten list I present to you the Top Ten Least Well Known Political Scandals:

10. Al & Tipper Gore for bringing their high-powered foot heater with them when
they visited Greenland.

9. Millard Fillmore’s addiction to sniffing his inkwell.

8. Alberto Gonzalez’s restraining order for stalking Charo in 1975.

7. Geraldine Ferraro’s torrid love affairs in the 1960s with Mickey Dolenz, Michael
Tork and Michael Nesmith. (Davy Jones refused to monkey around with her).

6. Franklin Roosevelt was Adolph Hitler’s ghost writer.

5. Joe McCarthy’s quiet obsession with the Cincinnati Reds.

4. Jeb Bush’s illegal spear fishing in the Everglades.

3. John Quincy Adams taxation with representation.

2. Photographs of Jesse Helms playing in a minstrel blues band.

And the number one Least Well Known Political Scandals is:

1. Harry S. Truman often got bombed on sake.


Now I challenge you to remind us of some other obscure political scandal and win one of my Lion Awards. Thanks everyone and have a great weekend!

- The Mountain Cat