Thursday Random Thoughts 4/29/10

Stuff I have been thinking about:


-Yay, Jimmy Buffett is back on tour this year. Under the Big Top Tour 2010 kicked off last Saturday in Tampa. Check it out I bet he is coming to a town near you.

-May is my favorite month of the whole year and there are lots of reasons why. The weather is getting nice and warm. Baseball season is just heating up. The Charlotte NC area has so many things going on including PGA golf tournament, the NASCAR races for two weeks and all kinds of festivals and other things to do. I can't wait for May to get here.

-Last weekend I was at a child's soccer game and couldn't help but notice the names of all the kids. I kid you not on the same team there was a Kayden, Aiden, and Jaden. Also a Jada, a Kenton, and a Colton. Nothing against these names but it seems like all kids are being named things like this these days. Doesn't anyone name their child Bill, Fred, or Tim anymore?

-Why is it that I have heard the song "I don't know why" by Nora Jones about 10 times in the past week? It's a great song and it's older but for some reason it's been on the radio repeatedly recently.

-I was wondering the other day what the song of the summer will be this year? Last summer it was probably the Black Eyed Peas "I've got a feeling" or The Michel Franti and Spearhead song "Say Hey." Two summers ago it was Kid Rock "All Summer Long." I wonder what it will be this year. Probably something I haven't even heard yet.

-At our house we were able to go the entire month of April without using either the heat or the air conditioning. This is really nice and actually quite a feat considering where I live in North Carolina we generally have to turn the air conditioning on by now. Our electric and gas bills will certainly be better this month.

-Ok one last thing. I am going to start posting a weekly Odd sign of the week from a new website I have found. Oddly Specific Signs. So here we go with this weeks actual sign. I hope you enjoy:

Until next week...

-Doc

Sweet Little Lies

Yesterday I just finished a book that was filled with lies. It was about a 12-year-old girl who lies about being friends with a classmate that died in the first chapter. She also lies about various members of her family. The town is suppose to be fairly small at least the side she lives on and I kept thinking that someone would call her out - and that never happened.

This got me to thinking about lies and lying. I will be honest I'm a horrible liar. All you have to do is see my face to know if I'm telling you the truth. Most of my lies involve pranks so I'm usually trying not to giggle.

Is there a difference between lying and not saying something? I personally think it depends on what you are leaving out of the story.

I'm not a fan of being lied to either. I dated a guy a few years ago that I met though a mutal friend. It was going to be a long distance relationship so I firmly believed we needed to cut though the BS and be totally if not brutally honest with each other. With much discussion with the mutual friend the guy isn't honest with himself. The ex isn't too happy with the mutual friend having both sides of the story. Needless to say the mutual friend finds a lot of similarities in his reasons for breaking up with some great women - and realizes it might be more of the friend than the girl.

I know there is being nice - but don't lie about it. I hate it when I meet a guy that I think we really hit it off and never hear from him again. A guy from a couple weeks ago I looked at his Facebook page, while most of it was private there was a girl in the picture. He certainly didn't act like he had a girlfriend.

Awhile back I saw a stand-up comedian. She was talking about being at a bar and it is about closing time and she's drunk. She can start flirting with this guy and go home with him, or she can go home alone and get a DUI. Her thoughts: You can always lie about a one night stand, but you can't lie about a DUI - that goes on your record.

Regret

With Doc on the shelf, I guess I’ll pick up the torch today. I have often said I don’t have any regrets from my life thus far. Are there some things I wish had gone differently, definitely. The experiences I’ve had make me who I am today and I have so much to be thankful for that I can’t say I’d want things differently. However, as some of you know, my father passed away late last year. It has caused me to reflect on things that I hadn’t given much thought to over the years. And, it turns out that I do have regret.

For the past few years, I have really second guessed my decision to not join the military. Growing up, I always believed that I’d be a Marine like my father. But as I went through and graduated from college, that became less of an option for me personally. I had become lazy and wanted to take the easy/have fun road instead. When people ask, “Why didn’t you go into the service (like your father)?” I usually respond jokingly with, “I served my 18 years.” In truth, I was selfish and made excuses for not signing up. Excuse number 1: My wife’s father was also a Marine, but her military childhood was not as memorable as mine. I rationalized that if I chose to enter the Corps, she may not stay with me (we were still dating when I graduated). I have come to realize it was not the service, but the man that made it that way. He took off when she was 16, leaving a wife with 4 daughters behind. Excuse number 2: I only wanted to be a pilot and the services were only taking engineering graduates, not business administration grads into aviation training. It was the same when my Dad went in, but he got in and was an incredible pilot…with a sports education degree from Carson-Newman. He did a lot of studying to make up for his lack of engineering/science knowledge the other students had already. He made his childhood dream a reality, never having stepped foot in a plane before his first training flight.

Tied to this regret is the fact that I always told Dad that one day I’d at least get my private pilot’s license so we could fly around together. I always made excuses for not getting this done, as well.

This all came to a head this morning as my mother gave me Dad’s ’03 Tahoe. It still has the Marine Corp license plate (which I have to give to her when I get a regular FL plate) and a few flight wing markings. These are things I must take off because I haven’t earned them.

Regret, it really sucks. My goal from this point on is to never have to look back and have anything else added to this list.

I'm with Matt-Man

My buddy Matt-Man from Bagwine Rumination's has a brilliant posting this morning on his blog.

"I got nothing...absolutely nothing. In fact, I'm just not feelin' it and may never again."

This pretty much sums up my feelings this morning as well. I mean I know I will get that feeling back again sooner or later but I am going to do exactly what Matt is doing and declare that I am on blogging hiatus until Wednesday. Thank you for the inspiration Matt and I will catch you all very soon.

-Doc

Motivational Poster of the Week 4/24/10

This one submitted by AbsolutGator:

Enjoy your weekend.

-Doc

Hitting the High Notes 4/23/10

Stuff I have read in the news lately that I thought I would share:

-So you think you have a drinking problem? I know somebody who just might. Meet Laura Hall who at 20 has the distinction of being the first person ever banned from every bar and pub in all of England and Wales. Umm just my opinion but if your partying antics are so legendary that the police know about you and have to ban you from all bars in the whole country before you are even 21 you might need to seek some help.

-Everyone has heard of the Donner Party right? The folks who legend says resorted to cannibalism to stay alive during their move from Illinois to California during the harshest winter ever on record. Maybe that was just an Urban (or rural) legend all along says this article about research done at Appalachian State University in Boone, N.C.

-Here is an article about a recipe book that has Penguin publishers in Australia very embarrassed after a missed typo suggesting that a pasta dish required "salt and freshly ground black people" instead of freshly ground pepper. Umm hire a better proofreader guys.


-By now I bet most of you have heard about the guy in England who got arrested for DUI driving a pink Barbie kids car.

-One more mugshot for you... This is Julie Root a candidate for mother of the year who was arrested for child neglect when her sons were found outside playing in the rain wearing only their diapers. Umm Julie I think you heart the hippy lettuce just a little bit too much. Put down the ganja and TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS DAMMITT!!!!

-Last but not least you have to check out this article in which an Iranian cleric spells out exactly why there seem to be so many earthquakes recently. Promiscuous women of course. It's all you ladies fault (hee hee bad pun intended) that the earth is angry. Quit being such hoochies. Actually I was wondering if this was the case that bimbos cause earthquakes then why hasn't Hollywood fallen into the ocean yet?

Until next time keep reading the news!

-Doc

Thursday Random Thoughts 4/22/10

Stuff I have been thinking about:

-Reason # 23,496 that I don't ever want to travel to Europe. Volcanos in Iceland. I never want to go some where that I get trapped and can't get home to the USA. *Shivers*

-How about a little Happy Birthday shout out to EvilTwinsWife Today? Happy Birthday and enjoy your day!

-The Carolina Panthers 2010 schedule released the other day and highlights include opening the new NY Giants stadium, (they closed the last one out beating the Giants why not open the new one with a win) A return date with Julius Peppers on Oct 10th, and a December 23rd game at Pittsburgh meaning they will be off on Christmas while other teams are practicing. I can't wait for football season.

-While I am on football and the Panthers the NFL draft starts tonight. The Panthers don't have a first round pick so I am not all that enthused, however there is one thing I am dreading. I will not rest until Tim Tebow has been drafted by some other team. If and when in the next 2-3 days you hear that Tebow was drafted by any team other than the Carolina Panthers please know that I am celebrating somewhere!

-Cyndi Lauper can sing in octaves that ordinary human beings simply cannot. Is she really an alien?

- I just love that AT&T commercial where the guy is playing a TV news anchor and is reporting things like, "according to Twitter the search for cute boots is on...Fabcebook confirms." Makes me laugh but sadly reminds me of my life in some ways.

-Yay, Today is also Earth Day. I love the earth and hope that it stays happy for a really long time.

-I heard on the radio the other day that the country of India has more (way more) cell phones than working toilets. Scary, but not surprising.

-Just found out that a friend of mine is moving to Raleigh, NC from New Jersey next month a and am pretty excited about it. (No, it's not the Mt. Cat)

-Bon Jovi is in concert here in Charlotte tonight. W00T!! But sadly my wife and I are not going...Blah. Poor planning on my part actually. I had no idea that tickets would sell so quickly for this show. They were gone in a matter of hours. Two years ago when they came it wasn't even a sell out. So oh well I guess we will catch them next time.

Until Next week

-Doc

Summer vs Winter Parking Spaces

I park in a different place at work depending on the time of the year and I was wondering if anyone else has a quirk like this. I do this for a specific reason of course and it's the weather. Our parking lot like most is pretty wide open to the sun but it also has trees that provide shade near some of the edges. During the winter I park in the space below:

As you can see it was snowing the day I took that picture. There is my little red Grand Am sitting out there in a parking space that not only gets sun and keeps it warmer on cold days but I can see it all the time from the window in my office. (just in case anyone tries any funny business)

Now during the summer months I want to keep my car cool so I scouted out the entire parking lot and found the absolute best parking space for doing this:

There she is sitting there in as close to total shade as you can get in our parking lot. It's amazing that even on the hottest August days the shade of this parking space keeps the car so much cooler. Ahh what a relief.
I get to work early to ensure that I have my choice of the parking space I want especially in the summer because that space is in demand. It's not uncommon to find it taken if I go out to lunch either. As you can imagine I'm not very happy when that happens.
Anyone else have a special quirk about where you park at work?

-Doc

Parenting Fail

A little Bonus motivational poster for you all today:

I hope you all have a great Monday!

-Doc

Motivational poster of the Week 4/17/10

Enjoy your Weekend!

-Doc

A quick joke

A little boy tells his parents, 'For my birthday I wanna watch.' So they let him.


- TMC

Thursday Random Thoughts 4/15/10

Stuff I have been thinking about:.

-First of all My Twitter Fail from yesterday has been fixed. (I hope) I don't know if I am missing anything but it seems to work. Maybe now life can get back to normal.


-Last Saturday I was in my brother in laws wedding up on Long Island. It was a great day. The ceremony was moving and the reception and party afterwards were unbelievable. The reception itself was at the Carlyle on the Green clubhouse at the Bethpage State Golf courses. This afforded us to get wedding pictures taken at the "Black" course. Made famous by becoming the first public course to host the US Open in 2002 (Won by Tiger Woods) and also hosted the US Open just last June. The black course has a very famous "warning" sign that we had our pictures taken with. Even though I am no golfer I do like famous places so I figured I would share a picture of myself with the sign. I'm sure you all are very impressed.

-Also on my trip to NY I got to hang out with my buddy the Mt. Cat as he detailed here. I did have a great time and it reminded me how much I miss hanging out with him on a regular basis. BTW Vin, Yes Jackie is "US People" I am glad you are happy buddy.

-For the first time in my life I got a speeding ticket on the trip home from NY. The speed limit was 70 int eh area where I was but they slowed it to 60 for a 3 mile work zone and I didn't slow down. State Trooper was waiting for me and wrote me a $380.00 ticket. Very frustrating. I am not sure what I am going to do just pay it or hire an attorney and fight. I have already gotten 4 letters from attorneys in the mail.

-Happy Tax Day everyone. I hope that everyone has filed already and if the government owes you money they get it back to you soon. We are still waiting for our state refund because apparently the state of NC simply ran out of money. Hmmm I thought the state lottery was supposed to fix that problem?

-Last week while in NY I completed my 100 mile journey of walking to be healthier. I was pretty happy with the results and now that I am finished I am not sure what I am going to do next for a goal but I need to come up with something.

-Is it too early at 2-6 for the NY Mets to throw in the towel on the 2010 season? Yeesh. Get it together or fire Jerry Manuel or Omar Minaya or at least do something.

One more thing. Last but not least I was out of town last week and did not officially award the NCAA trophy. Congratulations are in order to Kimmehkins who was the winner of Jay and Doc's NCAA Tournament pool. It was a fun and hard fought victory so here is your trophy:


Until next Week:

-Doc

Twitter - FAIL !

I am bummed out today and very frustrated with Twitter which for some reason will no longer work on my cell phone. I feel so cut off from my twitter pals and the general knowledge that I pick up by getting updates from those I follow.
Ever since our internet was out when we got home from NY on Monday I have had twitter problems. All I did was go in to remove the image I was using and switch to another and now nothing works. This morning I tried to delete and reenter my phone and now it will not send updates or twitter commands and now I cannot even receive them... ARRRRGH THE AGONY!

Twitter FAIL !!

-Doc

Thank You !

I am back from a great trip to NY for my brother in law's wedding and a visit with the Mt. Cat. I am really busy at work today but wanted to thank the great guest bloggers that helped me out while I was gone. You all did such a great job that YJKOBT was more popular while I was gone than when I'm here... Seriously! Thank you!
I missed you guys and hope that I can get caught up here today and post about my trip tomorrow. (Of course I came home and the Internet was down at our house so I can't post from there until I figure out if it's our router or what)
I have lots to tell but can't do it now.... I just wanted to publicly thank my awesome guest bloggers!

-Doc

Doc Does Jersey City

Hello everyone. It's The Mountain Cat.

My good buddy and our blog-master Doc came to visit me on my birthday in Jersey City on Wednesday, April 7th. We hadn't seen each other since last July. Now normally when we get together, craziness abounds. But I guess in our old age we don't have the energy. However we did have a great time and I will now try to spin the events of the evening into something that will entertain you.

The evening started at 5:30 when I met Doc in Manhattan in midtown after he took the bus in from his in-laws in East Long Island. My girlfriend Jackie met us there as well. We then hoped on the packed 6 train going downtown to transfer to Jersey City. Once in Jersey City, we enjoyed a walk along the Hudson River where Doc unveiled his birthday gift to me: A can of Food Lion's Mountain Lion soda. (Pictured with the two of us). What a surprise! It tastes like Mountain Dew but I will save the can forever.

Then the three of us went to Maker's Harborside Restaurant and met my friends Xavier and Kelly. We all ordered burgers, drank, watched the Yankee game, drank, watched the Ranger game, drank and got progressively louder. It was a perfect storm of all of our outgoing personalities. Around 9:00 we stumbled out of Marker's to meet my friend Joe at The Zeppelin Hall Beirgarten. Xavier and Kelly decided to call it a night and left, separately, and it just was Doc, Jackie and myself. We hailed a taxi to the biergarten. Joe was waiting inside patiently. Now the story gets slightly interesting. We ordered beers but the bartender looked frazzled. We think he was on drugs. He took forever to get us our beers. Finally we got ours except for Joe. We paid and waited for Joe. Finally Joe got his massive 25 ounce beer but the bartender walked away but didn't charge Joe. So he got his drink for free. I guess having a stoned bartender has it's advantages. Then we walked out to the garden area, sat on a bench and just enjoyed the great weather. After about a half hour we finished our beers and wanted to get more. Doc went inside for 15 minutes and returned empty handed. He could not get the stoned bartender's attention. It wasn't even busy at the bar! Doc was pissed. That was apparently our cue to leave and hop to the next bar.

We walked about 10 blocks to the train where Jackie was getting tired and bid farewell. So Doc, Joe and I went to the Hard Grove Cafe for a couple of Coronas each. We talked music, people watched, told jokes and acted crude since no women were no longer with us. Typical guy stuff. After about an hour and half we were beat after seven or eight drinks in five hours. We bid Joe farewell. Shane and I split a pastrami sandwich and a taxi back to my place and he crashed on the couch.

The next morning, we trained it back to Manhattan where Shane had to catch the train back to Long Island and I had to go to work. I pointed my friend in the direction of Penn Station, gave each other a bro-hug and parted our separate ways.

I am so glad Doc and I got to hang out in my town and met some of my friends. I wish he could have stayed longer but it was a very memorable night. Thanks again Doc! Lets hang out more often.

Your friend,

The Mountain Cat

Motivational Poster of the Week 4/10/10

Enjoy your Weekend!

-Doc

Accents and Timelines ....

Hola peeps!  It’s me, Jay the Cynical_Bastard guest posting on this lovely Friday.  Well, I assume it’s a lovely Friday. I mean, it might be a really crappy Friday, I don’t know.  But, let’s just pretend that it’s a lovely Friday, shall we?

Today I thought I would blog about two of my biggest pet peeves with television shows.  Now, I know that when we’re watching TV or movies we are supposed to suspend reality a bit and just accept certain things.  For the most part I can do that.  I pretend that fat, goofy guys who work in blue collar jobs can be married to someone as hot as Leah Remini.  I pretend that teenage girls can put on a blond wig and be a pop music superstar and nobody in her school could ever find out.  Hell, I even pretend that a mullet-sporting redneck like Billy Ray Cyrus was totally believable as a doctor on “Doc.”  

But, there are a couple of things that I just can’t seem to get past on TV shows..

So, since Doc is a proud North Carolinian and I’m an embarrassed Arkansan (sorry, I don’t like Arkanasawyer) I thought I would bring up my first complaint here.  Now, I know that Hollywood would NEVER stereotype people. But, have you ever noticed that every dumb character has a southern accent?

Hell, even if the character lives in Chicago or Minnesota or Los Angeles or whatever, if they’re dumb, they have a southern accent.  You would think that with Sarah Palin on the scene now, liberal Hollywood would give all our dumb ass characters a “youbetcha” type accent.  But, oh no.  Dumb people are always country people and they always have a southern accent.  Even if they’ve never lived in the south. 

Okay, so now complaint number 2 is all about timelines.  This is honestly my biggest pet peeve about any show.  It just amazes me how much ground people on TV can cover in such a short amount of time.  I’ll give you an example using one of my favorite shows NCIS:

So, everyone shows up for work in the morning at NCIS headquarters.  We can assume it’s 8 o’clock-ish, when they get there.  Gibbs is already there and tells the team that they have a fugitive they need to go pick up in Virginia somewhere.  So, they head out and drive all way out into the boonies. 

Amazingly enough they don’t hit any traffic at all.  I guess traffic around Washington D.C. isn’t all that bad.  Anyway, they get there and they find their fugitive.  Unfortunately he’s dead.  Sucks for him.  Now they have to call Ducky and Palmer to come out to the crime scene in the mobile meth crime lab van thingy.  Ducky and Palmer get there lickity-split also.  They do all their forensic work, load up the stiff and head back to NCIS offices. 

AND THEY GET BACK TO THE OFFICE BEFORE IT’S EVEN LUNCHTIME!

It’s amazing!  Federal agents on TV can be told about a crime in California, get on a plane and fly out there from Kentucky and get there before the police have even “processed” the crime scene.  Amazing!  And then they interview witnesses and chase the bad guys to the Mexican border, shoot EVERYBODY (except the dumb girl with the southern accent who got duped by one of the bad guys) and head on home before it gets dark.  Even in daylight savings time this is a remarkable accomplishment.  And it really does drive me crazy.

Also, last night as I was talking to my very awesome friend who also happens to be super damn hot, I thought of another one of these pet peeves.  This one is pretty much confined to soap operas though.  Ever notice how someone can have a baby, and all of the sudden that baby become like a six year old over the weekend?  And then like month later that six year old is suddenly like 12?  Weird.

And, ever notice how someone can be in a car accident, lose the use of his legs, but when they have him at the hospital right after the accident, they don’t even have an IV set up on that kid?  Amazing! And he’s totally able to talk and understand what people are saying and whatever.  Of course, after years and years of watching people with really hideous diseases and injuries being completely cured in under an hour on “ER,” I guess that “no IV” thing shouldn’t really be all that big of a deal. 

Okay, I should probably end this here.  Otherwise I’ll turn it into a looooong list of pet peeves about TV and movies and who knows what else.   Thanks for letting me guest post Doc.  And you can breathe a sigh of relief now since I didn’t blog about hookers or strippers. 

Or Miley Cyrus. 

The Peel Out Dairy Queen

This one is from the archives, but it still makes me laugh to this very day.

The Evil Twin and I woke up one morning and were both in terrible moods. This was waaay before Buddy was born. I recall it was July - because it was the Ornament Premiere at Hallmark (I'm an addict). So, we had gone to Hallmark where I picked up my ornament order (yes, I pre-order hundreds of dollars worth of ornaments every year).

Afterwards, we were going to grab lunch out and decided on Dairy Queen in the town we lived in at that time. So, the Evil Twin pulls up and proceeds to place the order.

He orders "Four hot dogs with chili and cheese and a large fry." He didn't bother himself with ASKING me what I wanted, he just ordered for me.

That is the point where I totally lost my shit.

I am not originally from WV - so I like my hot dogs mainly with just mustard and onions, occasionally with chili. But I feel putting cole slaw on a hot dog is really never right. And cheese? Please... I'm not from Ohio, either.

Plus, I worked at a DQ back in college. I know how they do cheese on a wiener. It's a half a slice of "It's not really a real food product" processed American cheese, not shredded cheese artfully sprinkled on the chili.

We had such a huge screaming match right there after he pulled up from the ordering speaker area that he just peeled out in the parking lot and drove off like a mad man, before we even got to the window where you pay and receive the food.

I've often wondered who ate those four hot dogs.

Ever since then, we've referred to that Dairy Queen as "The Peel Out Dairy Queen". And yes, we did go back there to eat from time to time. But, not very often. It brought back bad memories.

But, the Evil Twin never ordered for me again.

PS. I guess I should leave my link: I post under The Glamorous Life of a Hausfrau. Come over and see me sometime!

Friendship

First, let me formally introduce myself. I use the handle Disaster Chick because I'm in the disaster business. Technically I'm in Emergency Management so I plan for and coordinate disaster response. With the storm season upon us I recommend going to http://www.ready.gov/ for ideas on how to better protect yourself and your family. One boss told me in this business you have to be a mile wide and an inch deep with knowledge. This seems to be a thread in my life.

I've noticed that Doc seem to accumulate friends from everywhere. I "met" him though the currency tracking program, Where's George? Yes, I'm one of those people that mark my money. I've even gone to "Gatherings" and met other Georgers, but I've yet to meet Doc in person.

I've kicked around what I was going to write about and one idea was a tribute to beer since I had a couple last night. Then I was thinking about topics such as songs/music, forgiveness, and introverts/extroverts. Now my mind is leading me the topic of friendship.

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. ~ Elisabeth Foley

Who is your best friend - outside of your significant other (if you have one)? Who really knows you?

My best friend would have to be my mom. It's been just the two of us since my dad died when I was 8. I was reading an article by a single gal called "My Significant Mother" in either Glamour or Marie Claire a few months ago that stuck with me. It was about how she doesn't feel the need to find a significant other because she always has someone to do things with - her mother. You share genetic material and usually enjoy many of the same things. Most guys are not going to willingly go to a ballet, chick flick. play, opera, etc., however, her mother is willing to go and have a good time.

I went to 7 different schools between K-12. In 1st Grade I went to three different schools an each teacher was Mrs. H. I thought that was a requirement to teach 1st Grade. The majority of the friends I have acquired came from 1 of the 2 schools which I attended from 3rd to 9.5 and then 9.5 to Graduation. Most I have not seen in years - and Facebook has been great for re-establishing connections. (Found out several guys had crushes on me - why didn't I see that then?) I don't think my classmates knew me very well because I was the kid that sat in the back always reading in my free time. Yet, my high school friends seem to be the ones I'm the closest to - maybe because they were there in the formative years.

For awhile my best friend was one that we had been friends since I was 10 months old and he was born. I think he was born because I was such a cute and good baby. Our friendship changed when he got married, because his wife doesn't seem to like me. His brothers say she doesn't seem like anyone. In many ways I feel bad because his entire family including parents, brothers, grandma, uncles, aunts, and cousins have said to me that "Luke should have married you." If she had overheard this I can see why she doesn't like me. I've backed off because I don't want to cause problems. They have been married for 8 years now so I hope I'm not seen as a threat anymore. I rarely see them know.

Back to being a mile wide and an inch deep - I have a wide variety of interests and will try just about anything once, and always taking ideas on new things to try and adventures to experience. Last year I went skydiving and got my motorcycle license. The previous year I got my open water certification to go SCUBA diving. I'm an extrovert with introverted tendencies and I blame that on being an only child, but maybe I'm balanced. I've always had friends that didn't like each other. It seems like I'm a giant puzzle where different friends hold a different piece and a few may hold several pieces - yet the only one that sees the picture on the front of the box is my significant mother. One day I hope that I have a significant other that will take the time to discover the picture on the front of the box.

Easter Best?

~*~*~

Ahhh ... Easter Sunday. The day when little girls get the frilliest spring dress they'll get all year, complete with a matching handbag and white patent leather shoes. And little boys? They'll be in their khakis, with a belt, their button down collared shirt scratching at their neck, and wearing the only pair of shoes their mom could could find without rubber soles.

That's what church is about, right? Getting all gussied up. Putting your best foot forward. Dressing the part. Let's not forget showing up for the Easter sunrise service insuring everyone you know sees you there! Yeah ... Easter sunrise service attendance earns church bonus points!

Just don't catch the scrutiny of the Easter Sunday church service fashion police. Don't get me wrong, it's not like the church fashion police aren't always on the prowl, but there seems to be some unspoken church rule that says it's OK to visibly show your disapproval on one of the holiest of Christian holidays.

From one blog I read ...

"Now I am not criticizing anyone, but here's a few religious beefs I have on my mind: I was raised that anytime you were in God's house, you dressed up. Slacks, button down shirts, ties and a jacket for men and a modest dress and nice shoes for women. So, I don't understand how people can show up in sweat pants for church. I also don't understand those "come as you are churches". If I go to someone's house, I take off my shoes, if I go to God's house, I wear respectable clothes."

**NOTE** This blogger did tell me, via email, that what she was trying to convey is that church dress should be "the best of what you have. Most of the time sweat pants is not the best of what you have."

From another blog in my reader ...

"Then there's that whore mother of three, perched suggestively in the pew to the right, who, though her desire to provide for her children is admirable, apparently forgot to change after her shift at "Clive's House of Cleavage." Let's just say her hard boiled eggs were in some serious need of being hidden."

In all fairness, it was difficult to tell if this blog post was written as satire (not the normal voice of this particular blogger) or if it was more passive-aggressive, but I'm leaning towards the latter.

I am fortunate that I attend one of those "come as you are" churches. That doesn't mean those who attend lack respect for the Church - or for God. I've seen many young men (my own son included) walk into the church atrium with a ball cap on, but once they walk through the sanctuary doors, those hats quickly come off. Young children sit quietly in their seats, comfortable in their fleece or jammies. Seldom does anyone walk into worship late.

And you know what? I'm thinking God doesn't care much what anyone is wearing or how much they spent to look nice on Sunday. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that He doesn't even care if we've brushed our teeth (although I'm sure there has been more than one Christian parent who has claimed otherwise). Nope! I'm thinking God is far more concerned with my heart than he is with my Donna Karan.

Wouldn't it be a better place if we were all a little more that way?

~*~*~

I'm No Wilt Chamberlin, but...

Several weeks ago, Doc posted a blog regarding Warren Beatty’s claim to having sex with over 12,000 women. While I find it hard to believe, it did get me wondering about my sex life, “How often do my wife and I have sex?” While not as active as we were BC (Before Children) and having careers, I would have said we were definitely above the norm. But, I had to know for sure!

So, due to a bad mix of curiosity and OCD, I started tracking the number of times my wife and I did the deed since the beginning of the year; all thanks to Doc and his wonderful blog. After 60 days, I calculated the frequency and thought the percentage was pretty good. I did a little searching online for studies done and found my results to be accurate.

With a good passing grade in the frequency category versus the rest of society, it dawns on me that I have overlooked the more important aspect. I got so wound up in thinking about the number of times that I didn’t think about the quality. Like most busy couples, we have to fit sex in to our schedule on occasion and sometimes the pre-sex ‘buildup’ isn’t there. But I’d like to think that even during those interactions, we both enjoy what’s going on. The only way to answer this question was for me to ask the wife, “What do you think?” I sweated this out for a few days before finding the right opportunity to ask. C’mon, making sure her bell is rung well and often is a job I take seriously. If she were to say her satisfaction level was low, I’d be crushed!

Now, I’m not going into details (the wife would not be happy and then there would be no quantity to test the quality!), but suffice it to say I was pleased with her answer and even more that it led us to speaking about things we hadn’t in a long while. Being together for almost 16 years, we both had stopped doing things we once had and took other things for granted.

How do you/your significant other view your sex life? The first part, you can do on your own. For the second, you have the option of guessing or, for the brave at heart, asking them first to answer correctly. Also, which is more important to you: quantity or quality?

Motivational Poster of the Week 4/3/10

Enjoy your Weekend and Happy Easter!

-Doc

Hitting the High Notes

Before I go running off on vacation I figured I would leave you with some stuff I have read in the news lately:

-In the spirit of Good Friday here is a story about how paintings of the Last Supper are showing the food being served has been supersized over the past one thousand years. So let me guess next they are going to try and blame childhood obesity on Jesus. Yeesh.

-A kind of gross story here about a woman accused of assaulting a police deputy by squirting her breast milk in his face. Eww.

-A strange story here about an elderly couple in Brooklyn NY who claim that the police have raided their house over 50 times for no reason. Odd, apparently a bunch of criminals have given out their address.

-I love this article about a filmmaker in South Carolina who made a parody movie called "The Hills have Thighs" and sold it to Showtime then was surprised when instead of playing his film the network showed a porn movie by the same title. Duh your movie was called "The Hills Have Thighs" (oh BTW the way the guy's name is Bubba and he used to be a SC state lawmaker.) I swear I am not making it up.

-Last one... This one was sent to me by the Mt. Cat who lives near this freak. According to this news article the reign of terror caused by the serial urinator is over. Yes this nasty dude Nitinkuma Patel apparently has a fetish for walking up to random women and peeing on them. Yuck! Well he has been arrested and it's almost fitting that the officer that caught him is named Mike Meyers because "The Serial Urinator" sounds like a criminal straight out of an Austin Powers movie. Officer Meyers' quote, " Patel was caught wearing "gray sweatpants with 'a large wet spot around his crotch area." Enjoy trying that in jail there buddy.

Until next time keep reading the news!

-Doc

Thursday Random Thoughts 4/1/10

Stuff I have been thinking about:

-If you follow me on Twitter you may know that I am counting down the days (242 still left) until I can switch to a Blackberry. It seems that out carrier Sprint doesn't want more money from us each month so they won't let us upgrade our plan until November just because we upgraded it at the beginning of 2009. doesn't make sense to me and I came very close to paying the cancellation fee and just going ahead and getting the Blackberry plan.

-We are headed to NY tomorrow night for "Spring Break" and my brother in law's wedding a week from Saturday. Somehow Spring Break on the NOFO doesn't quite have the same ring to it as Spring Break in Panama City but we should have a great time. BTW - If you are thinking that I just said back in January that I was in NY for my brother in laws wedding you are correct. This is my other brother in law getting married. I have one more wedding to be in during June then I am retiring from being in weddings.

-I have always been a fan of Jimmie Johnson because he is a good guy and my favorite driver Jeff Gordon is co-owner of his car but even I am getting tired of him winning.

-I actually got a forward e-mail last week from someone (who used to read this blog) that insinuated that if I didn't continue to forward e-mails or believe that dogs go to heaven like people do that I would end up in hell. I don't do either and I'm not too worried.

-Looking forward to the summer coming. One of the things I do during the summer is re-read the Harry Potter books. I love them so and can't wait until my son is old enough to read and understand them.

- Nothing quite like getting a spring muffler burn when I broke out the lawn mower for the first time this spring last Saturday. Ouch!

- Anyone else think the Tampon commercial with the "racially ambiguous attractive girl with white pants" commercial is hilarious?

-In a follow up to a post I did last week I am still sort of in limbo but hopefully after I get back from my vacation I will have more to report. The news is looking more positive than negative though.

-Next week while I am gone you are going to be treated to a great series of Guest blog posts. The AbsolutGator has Monday and says that he will also be doing a poll. Dana will be posting Tuesday and keeps making vague references wondering if I trust turning the blog over to her for a day... I'm trusting and I am sure she won't disappoint. On Wednesday you can read a guest post from Disaster Chick and Thursday Evil Twin's Wife will be writing here... (I'm hoping for a cleavage shot) Friday will be manned by none other that His Cynicalness Jayman. The following Monday while I am travelling I am going to try and get the Mt. Cat to post. Thanks to all the guest bloggers. I am sure they will be better than the crap I normally post here. Also we have to award the trophy for the NCAA tournament pool victor next week so stay tuned!

-Doc