This is so wrong

This is from Entertainmentweekly.com

Pacino to star in new sitcom

Legendary movie icon Al Pacino will make the jump to prime-time television this fall on NBC. From the producers of Will & Grace, he will star in his first sitcom called ‘The Goddad’.

Pacino will play Paulie Morrello, a middle aged man who is forced to take care of his 9 year old neice when her parents die in a tragic car accident. Morrello has been a lifetime bachelor and womanizer who now must learn to care for others and stop his selfish ways.

Pacino is looking forward to the change. ‘It is a bittersweet show’, he says. ‘This will be a comedy but will also have a message for the whole family to enjoy. The stories will have morals to it.’ When asked how his movie fans will react to his new career path, he is very candid. ‘I’m getting old!’ Pacino laughs. ‘I now want to settle down and do something a little more consistent and lighthearted’. The sitcom will also star Kathy Najimy who will play the wise cracking aunt.

'The Goddad’ will air this fall on Thursday nights at 9:30PM following ‘My Name is Earl’.

*******

Pacino does not need money this bad, does he??? I do not think this show will last long. Unbelievable and sad. How can he disgrace the legend of the Godfather movies with this crap!?!? Marlon Brando must be rolling over in his grave!

- The Mountain Cat

Baseball is so beautiful I could just cry...

Last night the Braves and Nationals opening game was on ESPN. While I was watching the game, a sense of calm trickled through my body. I was suddenly at peace. Yes baseball is back. There are no wars. There is no recession. There are no more Hollywood lollipops in rehab. All is now good again. Right with the world.

Innocence. Purity. Utopian.

The pace of baseball relaxes me. I could smell the green grass through the television set. And I could taste the hot dogs and peanuts. It was as if I have a scratch and sniff TV these feelings are so vivid in my mind.

Yes, I know, the players are obscenely over paid. Also, they probably all take illegal or borderline illegal pituitary Flintstone-like vitamins. But my love affair with baseball is still aflame and has yet to flicker.

My New York Yankees open up this afternoon at Yankee Stadium. The best arena mankind has ever known since the Roman Coliseum. Only with better concessions. I am salivating.

The planets are aligned. The Dow is up. And my beer stein has been filled. Play ball.

- The Mountain Cat

I'm back and weekly poll

Wheew... Back from vacation and I missed you guys. It seems like you all had a fun time without me though. Thanks to my buddy the Mt. Cat and for holding down the fort while I was away. We had a great trip and I will tell all about it and share some pictures later but first things first. Last week in the poll it seems that your favorite Seattle grunge band was Pearl Jam as they pulled in a full 50% of the vote. This week we move back to sports and the upcoming NCAA basketball Final Four. First time in history that all four #1 seeds advanced to the final four so this weeks poll is who will win?

-Doc

p.s. - I hope to get caught up on reading you guys' blogs by the end of the week. I can't wait to see what I missed.

P-Did-It

Ok Christine, YOU DID IT. I decided that your comment, P-Did-It, was the funniest for most obscure hip-hopper. A nice little play on words on Puffy's old gun charge. Nicely done sis.

You win a Golden Lion Award!

Hope you all had a great weekend.

- The Mountain Cat

Hip Hop Harry and I....

...don't know who to give my Lion Award too. I ask all my fans to please vote. Who should win for the best comment for the most obscure hip-hopper? Midnight Saturday is the deadline.

Have a good weekend.

- TMC

Dancing With the Stars-Week 2

Greetings DTWS Fans! I know the dances have been done and the eliminations revealed but I still felt the need to post my thoughts on this week's dances. I promise next week will be back to the regular schedule of Tu morning. Thanks for putting up with my laziness while I was on vacation!

My first observation of the night was that Bruno has PMS. He was not happy with virtually anything. Even when he did give a nice review, his face was still grumpy. Given that there was a full moon this past weekend which resulted in my husband having PMS also, I am hoping Bruno will be more pleasant next week.


Of the guys, I was blown away by Jason Taylor's Mambo. He sure showed that he can shake it and move very fluidly. His score certainly reflected that. My favorite for this week is still Kristi Yamaguchi. She proved once again, that she is a perfectionist and can even work hard to come out of her shell for the mambo. It was saucy and hot!

Since we know that Penn and Monica were the ones who were eliminated I can say that it did not surprise me. Monica's mambo was painfully slow and she was really stiff. The judges kept saying that she looked out of her comfort zone, which I'm sure she was. She just doesn't have the personality to put everything out there for America to see. Dance is much more personal than tennis. I felt that Penn's Quickstep was not quick at all. It seemed like his feet did not even move! I don't care if they are the size of ocean liners. His footwork was atrocious. I also didn't like that he is very defensive when talked to the judges. I'm sure it's very hard to be criticized but he did not accept it gracefully.

I felt the most improved from last week were Marissa and Cristian. If they continue to work hard, I think they could both stay around for a while yet. Marissa has an enthusiam that is contagious and will add to her dance if she does the steps well.

I am looking forward to seeing what next week brings. Let me know what you're thoughts were on various dancers and I'll chime in with more. Happy Dancing!

-As American as Apple Pie

Friday's Top Ten List - 3/28/08

In the world of Rap and Hip-Hop there are an infinite number of artists that never make it big. Probably because most of them suck. They have nothing original to say and are just 'posers' of bigger Rap/Hip-Hop artists. Just like Hip Hop Harry!

So for today's Top Ten List I give you the....

Top Ten Most Obscure Rap/Hip-Hoppers

10. 6Pac
9. The Notorious F.A.T.
8. Howdy Diddy
7. Kid Barack
6. M.C. Donald & D.J. Jazzy Grimace
5. Chuck Eazy-E Cheese
4. Cypress Hillary
3. N.W.I. (Niggaz While Intoxicated).
2. Busta LeAnn Rimes
1. The Asian rapper Vanirra Rice.
Rice rice baby! He's Vanirra Rice, Rice baby! Don't be offended. It's all in good fun :0)

Ok folks it is your turn. Let me know about some other obscure Rap/Hip-Hop artists and you can win a Mountain Lion Award!

Have a great Friday.

- The Mountain Cat

***** Also, I left two fake rappers out of this list that are dear to Doc and I.

Doc will explain further in a future blog about one of our old roommates. Stay tuned.***** - TMC

Bizarre Websites

I'm burnt-out folks. No new idea today's. But I did compile a list of strange web pages you should check out:

1. http://www.ytmnd.com/: I don't even know how to describe this. Some guy puts up stills with weird music behind them. Some political. Some just...well...quite odd.

2. http://www.stickdeath.com/: Stick figures maiming each other. With lots of blood. This is a fun site.

3. http://www.baldwinization.com/: You can become a Baldwin Brother too!

4. http://www.subservientchicken.com/: Your wish, is this chicken's command. Sponsored by BK.

5. http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/: Cute photos of animals, mostly cats, in compromising positions with captions.

6. http://www.jesusdressup.com/: What would Jesus wear?

7. http://www.howmanywouldittake.com/: Ever sleep with a one?

8. http://www.lettersfrombadsanta.com/: Sound off on that fat commie bastard!

9. http://www.reoderant.com/: More stick figures. I know the guy who draws these cartoons. They can be found in The L Magazine available for free on most corners in Greenwich Village.

Stay tuned for my Top Ten List tomorrow morning!

- The Mountain Cat.

Things Bouncing Around This Head of Mine - 3/26/08

- Doesn’t new New York Major David Patterson look like the lead signer of the ’80 R & B band Cameo? All he needs is a flat top. Word Up!

- I went to the dentist and the optometrist yesterday. No more candy for me for a while. Eye candy or otherwise.

- In the Manhattan subways there are a lot of guys selling the illegal bootleg DVDs and then pack up and run when the police come. Well I wonder if there are any guys in the city who do that with Girl Scout Cookies. ‘Yo buy your Girl Scout Cookies here. They sell to you for two dollars, but I have a whole box here for 1 dollar. Oh shoot the cop, let’s run!’

- The TV commercial for Mel Brooks’ Young Frankenstein on Broadway shows the same scenes from the movie but less funny than they were in the movie. So what is my motivation to go see it?? Broadway has definitely jumped the shark. Broadway has run out of their own ideas. Stay tuned for Spaceballs the Musical in 2009 I guess.

- My hands really hurt from typing on the computer all day. I asked my doctor if I suffer from Carpel Tunnel Syndrome. He said no not to worry it is only Carpel Extension Bridge Syndrome which is not that bad. Phew, thank God for that.

- Every time I see a police man or a police car I stop to think if I am doing anything wrong or illegal. After about 5 seconds, I realize that I am not and continue walking or driving...Most of the time anyway.

- What ever happened to Youppi after the Montréal Expos moved to Washington? I miss Youppi.

- Doesn’t the Quaker Oats dude look presidential? I trust the Quaker Oats dude. I’d vote for him instantly! Get it??? Instant Oatmeal!?!? ROTFLMAO!! I crack myself up sometimes.

- I bought the VINCE t-shirt on line that Tom Cruise wore in the film The Color of Money. I look bad ass in this shirt! Oh shoot that’s two Tom Cruise references in one week. The Scientologists are gaining on me!

- Any Beatles fans out there? Please explain to what the hell is a walrus gumboot???

- There is a new band called the Mountain Goats! Yes, I have to buy their album.

- What happened to the good old days when Atticus Finch was the world’s most admirable father figure? Now a day’s kids look up to Hulk Hogan Knows Best of Snoop Dogg’s Fatherhood. Puh-lezzz!

- My mommy game me a couple of 20% off coupons for I-Hop. Valid Anytime. I can’t wait to hop over to I-Hop with my I-Pod.

- I heard that they are building an MGM Hotel and Casino near Foxwoods. I wonder if they will bring the big Lion’s Head back like the one in Vegas before they tore it down since it was bad luck to Chinese gamblers.

- I just watched No Country for Old Men again. Javier Bardem’s portrayal of Anton Chigurh is the best movie villain since Hannibal Lecter as far as I’m concerned.

- While watching this year’s NCAA Basketball Tournament, I finally realized why I hate Basketball. I despise the smell of gymnasiums. I just can’t deal with it.

- Now that The Wire aired its season finale, I cancelled my HBO. I’ll go back to reading books again I guess. Maybe I will re-order it when Entourage and Curb Your Enthusiasm come back.

- The problem is the secondary market. Coop deals are harder to sell so the lenders keep them as portfolio loans. Therefore they are reluctant to change the limits. It is hard for them to justify raising them for coops. I think it is one of those wait and see situations wherever the economy goes in the next quarter.….Oh wait…this is a work email….ignore this. Sorry.

- I just heard a fact that lettuce is the only vegetable that is not sold in cans or frozen. It is only sold fresh. Fascinating!

- I am such a Greek food snob. When ever someone says J-I-row, I correct them. It is Ear-row! Jesus get it right folks!!

- I just bought a breakfast cereal containing flax seeds. But my head didn’t grow like Barry Bonds claims flax seeds did to him.

- I heard Jeeves quit and now works for Google.

- The Mountain Cat

Tuesday's Word Game Winner

In honor of my partner D.O.C. M.I.A. A.W.O.L., I have created a special award this week for our Tuesday's Word Game winner for best play on Heathers Mills' 'plight'.

This week's winner is Anndi who wrote:

" I'll be going to America where people are prepared to hear me spill... OWWWWWWWW my leg!!!" **a masked man runs in - probably Jeff Gillooly- and smacks her on the 'good leg' leaving poor Miss Heather without a leg to stand on.**


Anndi it was the part about Jeff Gillooly that put you over the top. He has always had much affinity in the hearts of Doc and I. We've been making jokes about him for years!

So Anndi, please come pick up your award:

Congratulations Anndi!

Please visit Anndi's blog page at: http://anndisluggage.blogspot.com/.

- The Mountain Cat

Tuesday's Word Game with The Mountain Cat

While the Doc is away, the Cat will play. I was going to skip this week's word game but this story is just too juicy for you pop culture enthusiasts to pass up.

As you should all know by now, Heather Mills was awarded, in her opinion, a measly $48.7 million in her divorce settlement with Sir Paul McCartney. But now she is…*ahem*…hopping mad and wants to enact revenge on Sir Paul, his lawyer and the judge of their case.

The story goes on to say that "She's full of hate and vitriol and feels nothing but spite towards everyone on the other side. She vowed,' They're all going to regret what they did to me. I have tapes of Paul crying (over the death of first wife Linda McCartney), and they prove what a drug addict and alcoholic he was. I WILL make them public.'" (Click here for the full story).

In my humble opinion, it is a shame that she has...*double ahem*...pegged Sir Paul with such animosity when $48.7 million is well more money than any of us can ever dream of seeing.

Now folks I want you to think of a funny and creative way to complete the following quote from Heather Mills: "I know I'm a target now and I'm in danger but I don't care. I'll go after Paul again if I have to. I should have had more money and it's because Paul hid it from the court that I got so little. I'll be going to America where people are prepared to hear______________."

The comment with the most creativity wins a very special award from me....ready???.....Go!

- The Mountain Cat

So take those old records of the shelf....

Well my partner in crime Doc has gone away for a week on vacation with his family. That means it's party time for The Mountain Cat!! I have the whooollle house all to myself! Right now I am dancing to Bob Seger’s Old Time Rock and Roll in just a button down shirt, underwear and socks just like Tom Cruise in Risky Business.

Ok I know that is more than enough vivid imagery you can stand before your Monday morning coffee. So let me get to my first order of business this week: The winner of last week’s poll for your least favorite minor holiday is St. Patrick’s Day! It barely edged out President’s Day by a vote of 8 to 7.

Now for this week’s poll, let’s go slightly retro: Who is your favorite 1990’s Grunge Rock band from Seattle? Yes, the Starbuck’s caffeine infused city that used to be a hot bed of contemporary hard rock bands that changed popular music forever.

Do you prefer Alice in Chains, Candlebox, Mudhoney, Nirvana, Pearl Jam or Soundgarden? I am really interested to see what the millions of fans who read my blogs think.

Have a great work week y’all.

- The Mountain Cat

Happy Easter.....

.......from The Mountain Cat & The Easter Bunny!

And the winner is....

It was a tough choice but I got the most laughs from my cousin Pat B's comment for the

Best Rejected Adult Film Title:

Blow Hard, Die Happy.

Maybe because I can picture you saying this in front of our prudish family. Hahahaha!

Therefore Patty you win a Golden Lion:

And Pat, since you are family, a Lion Kiss Award would be too gross!

Anyway, we are all glad your hospital stay didn't take away your sense of humor. Infact I think it enhanced it!

Thank you everyone for your participation! Have a great weekend.

- The Mountain Cat.

Friday's Top Ten List: March 21st

OK OK OK, I know I have been accused of bringing the R rating to this little blogsphere, but sometimes I can't help myself. Well today's list I guess I've raised the bar just a bit (Or lowered it depending upon your view point). So without further adieu, I bring you...

The Top Ten Rejected Adult Film Titles:

10. The Shawshank Copulation

9. Who Rammed Roger Rabbit

8. Hotel Screw Wanda

7. Shaving Ryan's Privates

6. On the Waterbed

5. Full Metal Bambi

4. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Pearl Necklace

3. The Grape Bags of Wrath

2. No Country for Oiled Men

And the number one rejected adult film title is:

1. Forrest Hump


OK folks what other rejected adult film titles can you think of? The best one wins one of my Lion awards. And I promise never to be naughty again.

- The Mounting Cat (oops)

Thursday Random Thoughts 3/20

Stuff I have been thinking about:

-I had a BLT for lunch the other day. Man was it good! I had forgotten just how much I like those.

-Next week while I am on vacation the family and I are going to be driving by "The Peach." You know the water tower that I use for my weekly award? Well I am planning on stopping (weather permitting) and taking a few pictures and maybe change up the award a little bit. I have a few ideas, so stay tuned. (Aren't you just on the edge of your seat now!! - LOL)

-Don't look now (and I know that football season is months off) but my Carolina Panthers have made some interesting moves and things are looking good for 2008!

-I heard on the radio recently that the term 'nerd' was first penned by Dr. Suess. Interesting

-An update on the story from last week where the lady was stuck to the toilet seat after being in a bathroom for two years. The boyfriend has been charged with mistreatment of a dependent adult for letting her sit there for so long and not doing anything. Oh and MickyT if you read the article it answers the big question that you had about the logistics of how she was "stuck."

-Interesting search note of the week. The 3 most visited pages on our blog (other than the front page) by non regular readers who use search engines to find us: #3 Top 10 rejected Campaign slogans, #2 Top 10 rejected Cereal names and the #1 (by a wide margin) The Lion Kissing video. We get multiple searches every day for that silly ass video... LOL!

-My wife makes the most fantastic corned beef and potatoes for St. Patty's day. They were awesome!... We skip the cabbage though.

-I wonder if the value of my college degree just went up now that my alma mater Lenoir-Rhyne College is officially going to become a University? I sure hope so because I wouldn't want to have wasted four years of blood, sweat, and beers, errr tears.

-Oh man I really hope that I get to go fishing when we are in Panama City Beach next week. It's been like six months since I got to go real fishing... but I am not getting my hopes up.

-The NCAA tourney starts today. If I had to bet I would say that North Carolina is the best team out there but they have a pretty tough road to get to the final four. I am not a tar heel fan but I will root for all the ACC teams.

-Nothing in the news freaks me out more than the stories about people who had the wrong surgery done on them when they were under anesthesia... Yikes !!!

-If you have never tried french fries dipped in ranch dressing you really should... they are fantastic. (OK now my mouth is watering)

-You know what I think would be hilarious? If Eliot Spitzer would choose to do commercials now that his political career is pretty much over. Can't you just see him riding up on a motorcycle singing "Viva Viagra" ?

-Doc

Jennifer Wilbanks oh how I have missed you

Oh yes ladies and gents she is back in the news and I couldn't be happier! It's been too long since we heard from our favorite "Runaway Bride" Ms. Jennifer Wilbanks. From the original news stories where fear was that she was kidnapped and that "the possibility that ...Wilbanks developed "cold feet" before her wedding this Saturday had mostly been ruled out." Through the harrowing but false (and quite graphic) tale she tried to sell about being kidnapped and sexually assaulted by a couple in the back of a van. Concluding with the confession, charges, and punishment of America's favorite "crazy eyed" bride we all watched spellbound, including me. This was always one of my favorite odd news stories. I loved it, so it was no surprise that when almost three years later I perked up when fresh Jennifer Wilbanks showed up in the news this week not once but twice.

How on earth could she still rate being in the news after all this time? Well it seems that the town of Duluth, Ga is in a way getting her back for all the crap she put them through by presenting a play about the whole incident called Runaway Bride The Musical . "This play is a celebration of the people of Duluth's efforts during the whole event," Red Clay Theater managing partner Shelly Howard told the Gwinnett Herald. "Theater is all about reproducing life on stage and it is the rare case of a missing person gone good. It presents a real tongue in cheek look at how the media portrayed the whole event. Oh my gosh I bet this thing is hysterical. I wish I could see it.

The other article that popped up this week was about the luckiest guy in the world. Ms. Wilbanks' former groom to be got married to someone else recently.

I think that it's very funny that years later the news is still filled with stories about her. She fascinated the public because the entire story is just over the top. I was always fascinated with her because of the crazy eyed look that she had. Back when the story was unfolding I remember saying to my wife that something wasn't right with the story about her missing simply because she "has a crazy eyed look about her." Well it turned out that I was right, she was just crazy. However I celebrate Ms. Wilbanks for a different reason. My first ever effort into blogging was putting my spin on this odd news story three years ago. I was so moved by this crazy story that I decided to join the blogosphere (albeit on a different site) because of her. So for what it's worth Jennifer Wilbanks is somewhat responsible for this silly stuff that I write about for you all to read and comment on. I give her partial credit.

I am not sure if you all should thank her or be p.o. ed at her.... that is for you to decide.

-Doc

Dancing with the Stars-Week 1

The much anticipated season 6 opener started with "Macho Monday" and 6 guys strutting their stuff. First up was Pen Jillette (& Aussie partner Kym Johnson) who is known for his Vegas comedy/magic shows. Because of this background, I found his performance very entertaining. However, it did lack the speed and sex appeal that the Cha-Cha requires. The judges agreed saying that Penn needed to work on his footwork for next week. He left the floor with a 16 out of 30 from the judges.

Next on the floor was Jason Taylor. In the past seasons, most of the "jocks" have been pretty much train wrecks. They are too stiff and caught up in their "manliness" to let themselves loose for dancing so I didn't expect much. Wow, was I ever wrong! Jason has one of the hottest partners in Edyta Sliwinska so that helps, but I was impressed with the grace and fluidity of his Foxtrot. His efforts paid off in a 22 from the judges.

One of the sexiest men of this season, Cristian de la Fuente & partner Cheryl Burke showed off their moves in the Cha-Cha. For being a Latino, I was surprised at his lack of passion in this dance. However, his moves were good enough to earn him a 21.

Ok, so I know nothing of Adam Carolla except that his partner is the previous 2 seasons winner, Julianne Hough. Now, because of this I had high hopes but I wonder if the shows producers didn't saddle her with a loser to try and even the score. His dancing was awful! He had good footwork but was WAY too stiff and his constant talking during the judges review annoyed me. He received the lowest score for the men with at 15. If he doesn't step it up next week, he's going home.

Mario, Mario...where have you been all my life! He blew me away with his moves in the Cha-Cha. The passion that was between him and Karina Smirnoff was SMOKIN! I cannot wait to see more of this guy. Hopefully, with at score of 24, he will be around a long time!

I know many of us wondered if Steve Guttenberg (w/partner Anna Trebunskaya) was going to be goofy or not. He was very charming and is just a really likable guy! I thought his Foxtrot was fairly good and the judges gave him an 18. Not as impressive as some of the others but definately not as bad either. I am looking forward to seeing how he moves next week in the Cha-Cha.

On to the women:

First out of the gates was fellow "Pie" lover, Shannon Elizabeth & partner Derek Hough. What a great looking couple they make. Derek said he was a boy in last year's competition and is entering this one as a MAN. I wonder what he did over the break!! Shannon's Cha-Cha was a little stiff, surprising for someone who seems so in touch with herself. However, she was SMOKIN HOT in that red fringe outfit. I think she'll do well in the coming weeks. Her 21 out of 30 proved she has potential.

Monica Seles looked beautiful in her pink dress. I take back what I said earlier about her. Her partner Jonathan Roberts is one of the nices guys on the show. However, I did feel she was still way too hard around the edges and that came out in her dancing. Only 15 for a score, doesn't equal match-point in this competition.

Ok, the next dancer had me LMAO! This was Marissa Jaret Winokur and partner Tony Dovolani. Not only was their song hysterical (probably I'm the only one who thought this) but so was Tony's outfit! If I would have had internet connection last night I would have submitted that for the Tues Word Game entry. Black see-through sequined shirts and patent leather pants should be banned! At least he has a really nice chest! I felt their Cha-Cha was very tacky but that Marissa has talent if she can be reined in. Her score of 18 reflects that.

The biggest surprise of the evening came with Priscilla Presley and Louis van Amstel's Foxtrot. She took it a little easier on the eyeliner this time and didn't quite look like she belonged in a wax museum. Her dance was sexy and elegant, everything a Foxtrot should be. Apparantly the audience thought so too as they rewarded her with a Standing O. Her 24 should keep her around for a while yet.

Next up was Kristi Yamaguchi. After Priscilla left her with a tough act to follow, Kristi sure pulled it all out! Her Foxtrot with partner Mark Ballas was near perfection with a 27. She was smooth and graceful and made it look effortless. It'll be interesting to see how she moves in the Cha-Cha next week.

DWTS ended the night with the dancer everyone was most curious about. How would a deaf woman be able to dance? Well, Marlee Matlin proved that she is a force to be reckoned with! Her Cha-Cha was amazing. I guess if you have a great partner like Fabian Sanchez to lead you it doesn't matter if you can hear or not. Marlee is in third place for the women with a 22.

If you missed either of the nights, I strongly recommend you check them out online. Next week will be 2 more nights of dancing with a Double Elimination on Wed. Start making your predictions now.

-As American as Apple Pie

The Worst Film Ever Made!

I recently watched…ah…rather sat through ‘The Brown Bunny’. Directed, produced, edited and starring Vincent Gallo.

There are no adjectives in any human, animal or Klingon language to describe how bad this film is. I cannot believe this self-absorbed ‘artist’ actually released this film. (Or that someone actually let him release it). It contains, bad editing, bad story, bad acting and bad fellatio.

The story is about this idiot drifter motorcycle race driver who drives cross country in his van lamenting about his dead ex-girlfriend. Along the way he meets women who he decides not to sleep with. (One of whom is played by Cheryl Tiegs!). Until finally he confronts his post mortem love, play by former Oscar nominee Chloë Sevigny, who, in a dream sequence, gives him a real live blow job! (Non-simulated and very graphic). He whips it out, she takes in and then the credits roll.

This is the most dumbfounded film ever put on celluloid! The first 80 minutes are just camera shots of the back of Vincent Gallo’s head driving on the highway with smudges of dead bugs on his windshield while sappy songs by Gordon Lightfoot play in the background. Only until about minute 85 when Chloë Sevigny opens her mouth really wide, does the movie get somewhat interesting. This movie got the worst reception at the Cannes Film Festival in 2003 as well as my living room.

But I have to admit the only reason why I ‘paper viewed’ this film was because of the talented ‘acting’ scene by Chloë as this film is notoriously known for. (So sue me for being just as perverted as our director Mr. Gallo!). But actually, in all honesty, any man who can convince an actress as good looking as Chloë Sevigny to give him head on film, must have a little bit on genius in him. (Supposedly they were dating at the time). In that case, kudos to Vincent Gallo. You are better as a pimp daddy than a film maker.

Even the Easter Bunny hated this film!












Rent Gallo's other film ‘Buffalo '66’ instead, which is actually a decent film.

- The Mountain Cat

Tuesday Word Game Winner!

Thanks again to everyone who participated in Weekly Word Game. Of course there has to be a winner, By popular demand this weeks is Dana who loyal perverts readers really love Amid Lifes Crises Her answer was both funny and relevant:

In another move aimed at controlling the way it's citizen's dress the state Senate has also decided to ban senior citizen couples from dressing in matching outfits.

Check out her blog and congratulate her. Dana here is your Peach, It's your second!!... enjoy and don't try and eat it all in one bite! Thanks again to everyone who submitted answers

On a side note. Weekly Word Game will take a vacation next week as I will be on the road in Florida but I promise it will return when I do.

-Doc

Tuesday Word Game 3/18

For this weeks Tuesday word game we head to the world of clothing fashion. Well sort of anyway. It seems that the Florida State legislature has an issue with droopy pants. According to this article the State Senate wants to suspend students for wearing "droopy britches." Since they are sticking their noses into the world of fashion (as if falling down pants is the biggest problem facing the State of Florida) I figured they might also go further.... For today's word game please fill in the blank in the following news article with another fashion trend the Florida legislature should seek to ban. The best answer of course wins a Peach!

TALLAHASSEE, Florida (Reuters) - The Florida Senate wants public school students to pull up their pants. Lawmakers passed a bill Thursday that could mean suspensions for students with droopy britches.

Florida could join several southern U.S. towns and cities that have passed "saggy pants" laws aimed at outlawing what some teenagers consider a fashion statement -- wearing pants half way down their buttocks, exposing flesh or underwear.

In another move aimed at controlling the way it's citizen's dress the state Senate has also decided to ban _____________________.

-Doc

The Homeless Prophets

Well our favorite putrid platform prophet has finally topped himself. Last night he spouted this rant:

‘The Governor should have been honest. Sorry kids, no more money for education. Hookers are expensive.’ That’s his best one liner yet!

He was right in front of me when he said it. My laugh reflexes got the best of me. He saw me smile and let out a quick chuckle. Dammit. Now he’s marked me. He knows who I am. When he finally snaps he’s going to find me if I happen to be on the subway platform at the time. I have to be on high alert down there from now on.

So then I get on the crowded train and there is an old woman sitting across from me. She sort of looked like Ruth Buzzi's character Glady from Laugh-In. Suddenly she starts mumbling obscenities to herself. Then she starts in a little more loudly spewing what sounded like, ‘muck, yuck, frock, pluck, duck, suck, fuck, cluck.’ Not necessarily in that order. Then she gets up and walks over to a guy sitting a row down from me and said, ‘How can you let him draw a picture of you like that? You are a Jew and he is a spy. I am trying to protect you.’ I did not notice anyone drawing or spying on this man. He responded tongue and cheek, ‘Thank you. I will be more careful next time.’ Gladys then got offended and said, ‘Oh you mock me! Ta hell wit’cha!’ She got off at the next stop and as the doors closed we saw her bouncing her body left to right and flailing her arms like some possessed chicken yelling sarcastically to us, ‘wock, wock, wock, wock!’.

I just shook my head and said ‘Only in New York’ to whoever was in ear shot.

- The Mountain Cat

"I woke up and I was walking"

You guys have heard a bunch of stories about Mt. Cat and I causing trouble. Today I am going to tell one on our buddy Absolutgator and explain why I will never willingly to go to Savannah, Georgia again.

St. Patrick's day 1996. I was living in Columbia, SC at the time and a former roommate of mine (and Mt. Cat's) Paulie, my buddy Absolut and I decide that we are going to accept an invitation I had of a place to stay in Savannah Georgia for what is supposed to be the largest St. Patty's party outside of Dublin. Absolut and Paulie meet me in Columbia and along with a girl I worked with at the time named Angela we all pile into a rental car and get on the road. We decided that I would drive down there because I knew where I was going and so I wouldn't have to drive later that night. On the trip down Absolut starts to drink a few so by the time we get to Savannah he is in full gear. This is where we meet Kelly whose place we are to stay at and her friend whose name I can't remember.

It's going to be party time. Angela doesn't drink and agrees to drive us all home. Excellent lets go party. Well as it turns out Kelly and her friend had been having a few before we got there and her friend ended up passing out and not going downtown with the rest of us. Kelly was in bad shape too but we all set off to go to downtown Savannah for this huge party anyway. During the ride Kelly is all over my hugging me and loudly whispering stuff in my ear and generally being very annoying. Absolut was very annoying too by playing with the radio and at one point tuning in an AM station that was just static. We were trying to find a place to park and it was really getting on Paulie's nerves. All he wanted was a few beers. After a few trips around the party section with no success in finding a spot to park and the drunks yelling Paulie and I had finally had it. We told Absolut and Kelly to get out of the car and assigned Angela to watch them and meet Paulie and I at the corner bar as soon as we could park. Of course we then found a space right away.

Now Paulie and I are really ready to party. We park and get out and head to the closed off bar street area where the party is to meet our friends. We weren't away from them 15 minutes, that's all. We show up at the appointed location and see Angela but no Ablsolut and no Kelly. We ask her where they are and she points to a bar. Wait right here for us and we will go get them! So Paulie and I wade into this mass of humanity and realize after another 10-15 minutes that we have no shot at finding them in this place we are going to have to wait for them outside and catch them as they leave. Fine, I want a beer.

Paulie and I get beers from a street vendor and decide to wait for them, because by this time Angela had disappeared too. Since we are at the arranged meet up site they would have to show up sooner or later right? Half an hour goes by... an hour goes by... Nothing. Keep in mind this was before everyone had cell phones all over the place and all we had was the phone # for Kelly's place and my directions there as well as the car keys. We started to get a bit concerned since we hadn't found anyone so we decided to call Kelly's house. We get her friend who is now awake and informs us that Kelly took a cab home and left us there. Where is Angela and where is Absolut? Who knows?

It's now 10:30 at night and we decide to go back to Kelly's house because at least Angela has the phone # and will wait for her call. Well she calls on our way there and says she is at "A very scary motel at the corner of JFK and Gardens, but there are two nice guys taking care of her." now starting to get really worried and fully sober Paulie and I go and pick her up and she tells us what happened. After they got out of the car Kelly and Absolut went into the bar and then Paulie and I went in after them. Apparently I just missed Kelly because she came out and took a cab home. Ok fine, no everyone is accounted for except Absolut. When was the last time she saw him? "Oh I was watching him and he picked up an empty keg and tried to throw it at a cop," she says in a very matter of fact manner. Are you kidding me? Please don't tell me that my buddy got arrested in Savannah, Georgia on St. Pattys day... We may never get him out.

Being good friends Paulie and I go to the police station and get the very rude desk Sargent to go through the 117 arrest records from that night and no Absolut. Wheew that was one little bit of good news but still has us no further to finding my one of my best buddies. What are we going to do? Well about 2 am we decide that we will walk over the town until we find him. We start with the party area. Going through the alleys and park benches where drunks are asleep and passed out and worse. We walked from one side of Savannah to the other. We walked until it got light outside. We did not find Absolut. We did find my cousin who happened to be there on break from school and said hi to him. We walked until 10 am when we decided that we had been about as good a friends as we could be and Absolut was a grown up and may have to find his own way home.

We had one option left and it was the option that I was dreading. We could call Absolut's mom. I did not want to be the one to call up and tell her that we were in Savannah Ga and misplaced her son, but I had no choice so I went ahead and made the call. She was not easy on me but after owning up that I was here and Absolut was not she told me that he had called her an hour before and he was at the bus station getting a bus ride back to Columbia. We found him just before he was going to board his bus. We asked him where the heck he been and what had done. He said he couldn't remember a whole lot (go figure right). He did have a pretty decent answer when I asked him when he realized that he was really lost. His quote to me was, "I woke up and I was walking."

I don't care what the enticement is, I don't ever want to step foot in Savannah, Georgia again for any reason and certainly never again on St. Patrick's day.

-Doc

P.S. 4:00 update - It seems that my trip to Savannah actually could have been worse. Check out this news story about what happened there this past weekend.... Yeesh

Playing with Fire

So I ran across this in one of my youthworker resources. It got me to thinking about all you guys out here in Cyberland. Basically, there are two types of interesting people in the world: Fire-fighters and Fire-starters:

Fire-fighters--These are the people that keep the peace. They keep the status quo. They stop things from getting out of hand, keeping an even keel to the ship. They follow the rules, even maybe helping other people keep the rules. They police the system, making sure that nothing or no one is upset. They value peace, teamwork, structure, framework, processes and do their homework before making a decision. Expect things to get done not to necessarily improve, as the word “risk” is not in their vocabulary.

Fire-starters--These people are the troublemakers. They like to keep things interesting, so they push boundaries and challenge the way things have always been done. They are often characterized as rebels, valuing team but sometimes forge ahead alone to pursue a good idea. They often move hastily, often being attracted to what is shiny. They are inventive and creative, never totally happy or satisfied. If there was an instruction manual, they haven’t opened it - they are smart enough to figure it out without help of a book.

So my question is: which one are you? I'm thinking that most of US people are Fire-starters and that's why we all gravitate towards each other. If we have any Fire-fighters out there, chime in with your thoughts.

-As American as Apple Pie

New Poll - St. Patrick's Day Edition

Happy St. Patrick's Day Everyone !!

To pay homage to this minor holiday this weeks poll will be what is your least favorite minor holiday of the year. I came up with a few but omitted Valentines Day because it's not even a real holiday... take a second to vote in the poll if you like and of course thanks to everyone who voted last week, of course Brittney Spears was the overwhelming choice as the biggest train wreck.
-Doc

Et tu Brute!

Golden Bastard!

The winner for the best comment on my Top Ten Least Well Known Political Scandals is that Cynical Bastard himself, Jay!

His hilarious comment is:

Ronald Reagan's Depends were delivered to the White House in boxes labeled "Confidential Presidential Briefs."

Jay come on down and claim your Golden Lion Award:


Please visit Jay's blog page at http://cynicalbstd.blogspot.com/.

Ahh thanks for the memories!

Y'all have a great weekend.

- The Mountain Cat

What's In A Name ?

You guys know that one of the things I love to do is read through and sometimes blog about odd stories in the news. I think that it's true what they say that truth is stranger than fiction. With that in mind I give you not one but two separate examples to prove my point that you just can't make this stuff up. Both of these stories are a bit odd just by themselves but what makes them even more special are the names involved. I couldn't have made up better names if I tried.

The first story is odd an sad at the same time. It involves a woman who refused to leave her boyfriend's bathroom for two years. Here is a little bit of the article:

WICHITA, Kansas (AP) -- A 35-year-old woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for so long that her body was stuck to the seat had a phobia about leaving the bathroom, the boyfriend said. The case drew nationwide attention after Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat in the two years she apparently was in the bathroom.
"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

As sad as this story is the part that had me was the irony that the Sheriff who handled this case was named Whipple...as in Mr. Whipple who was also famous for bathroom related reasons. You just can't make this stuff up !!

The second story is kind of creepy too. It involves the police discovering a woman's body preserved on dry ice while they were conducting a drug raid. Here is a little bit of the story. See if you can spot the ironic name:

NEWPORT BEACH, Calif. --Police thought they were handling a routine drug bust at a ritzy hotel until they opened a large container and found a woman's body preserved on a bed of dry ice. In the days since the macabre discovery, the tale has only gotten more bizarre.
Acquaintances said Monique Trepp, a 33-year-old aspiring model, died a year ago and that her boyfriend, a convicted drug dealer, held a wake for her at the hotel where he lived for three years. Authorities said she had been dead "a while," but released few other details.
The person who likely knows more, Trepp's 46-year-old boyfriend, Stephen David Royds, made a cryptic statement from jail, where he's being held on $1 million bail on felony drug charges. Police had been tailing Royds for some time when they arrested him last week. An informant said he was selling cocaine on the beach, Sgt. Evan Sailor said.
Trepp's body was found stuffed in a giant Rubbermaid container packed with dry ice in Royds' executive suite, which goes for up to $400 per night.

Ok so besides being incredibly creepy my point is that the name of the boyfriend is terribly ironic ... Who would have figured that someone whose last name is Royds would end up being a drug dealer? Go figure right? LOL!

What's in a name? Apparently the answer is irony.

-Doc

Friday’s Top Ten List for March 14th

Now that Eliot Spitzer has stepped down as Governor in shame for the ‘quality time’ he spent with a high class call girl, I did some research on other political scandals throughout American history. As it turns out, there have been a lot more scandals that have not gotten much press for some odd reasons. So for today’s top ten list I present to you the Top Ten Least Well Known Political Scandals:

10. Al & Tipper Gore for bringing their high-powered foot heater with them when
they visited Greenland.

9. Millard Fillmore’s addiction to sniffing his inkwell.

8. Alberto Gonzalez’s restraining order for stalking Charo in 1975.

7. Geraldine Ferraro’s torrid love affairs in the 1960s with Mickey Dolenz, Michael
Tork and Michael Nesmith. (Davy Jones refused to monkey around with her).

6. Franklin Roosevelt was Adolph Hitler’s ghost writer.

5. Joe McCarthy’s quiet obsession with the Cincinnati Reds.

4. Jeb Bush’s illegal spear fishing in the Everglades.

3. John Quincy Adams taxation with representation.

2. Photographs of Jesse Helms playing in a minstrel blues band.

And the number one Least Well Known Political Scandals is:

1. Harry S. Truman often got bombed on sake.


Now I challenge you to remind us of some other obscure political scandal and win one of my Lion Awards. Thanks everyone and have a great weekend!

- The Mountain Cat

Thursday Random Thoughts 3/13

Stuff I have been thinking about:

-There is no reason that I wasn't in a 14 car pile up this morning other than a few alert drivers and God looking over me. There was apparently a car stopped in the fast lane on the interstate this morning and I skidded to a stop about 6 inches from the bumper of the truck in front of me and the truck behind be barely got stopped... The truck behind him skidded through the median grass. Wheew. I found a new place to pray this morning.

-I heard on the radio that Matthew McConaughey is going to name his son Bud... after his favorite beer. Yeesh I sure hope that is just a rumor.

-Just in case there are any TSA airport screeners reading this blog, I Love you guys, you are the best! (you don't wanna mess with those guys because they can give you a serious bad day)

-Here is a first. Someone (not associated with this blog) who I blogged about in last weeks TRTs contacted me by e-mail and requested that I remove their name from my random thoughts... so I did. I actually think it was pretty cool that they found the blog by google search! and I invited them to read and comment anytime. Oh and someone also found our blog this week by googling "Egg beater Bachelor Party" HA!

-Thanks to everyone who commented on this segment last Thursday... 164 comments in all Wheew, it sure was fun! I hope that you people are bored every Thursday.

-I promise you all that there was a girl sitting in the front row of my church this past Sunday who had Amanda Overmeyer hair. I mean it looked just like it, you know that skunk meets Cruella DeVille look. I ain't lying because I have witnesses. Please Lord do not let that look become a fashion hairstyle.

-So Brittney Spears in addition to dominating this weeks poll is now being given an allowance of $1500 per week to teach her how to spend responsibly. Ummmmm can I have an allowance like that?

-Why the heck does Jimmy Buffett have to come to play Charlotte on a Tuesday night? Come on Brother Jimmy, we deserve a Saturday Night. Of course his answer to me would be "It's Saturday night somewhere"

-Last weekend my wife and I volunteered to work on a house for Habitat for Humanity. It sure showed me that I am not cut out to build houses. Yikes I am not good at house framing. However it was a really good experience and I will do it again. If you get a chance I suggest that you give up a few hours and try it.

-We already have a poster named Leap O' Faith here on the blog... Now I want to find one named Walk O' Shame.

-Here is a heads up for Harry Potter fans. The 7th book Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is actually going to be made into two movies because producers don't want to shorten it and leave out any of the story. I think this is a really good idea. While reading it I wondered how they would convey everything in the story. Btw - If you haven't read the books and just seen the movies you are missing A LOT! I did not start out a fan but became one this summer. I read all seven books this past August. For the most part I think they are brilliant.

-Last night on CNN Campbell Brown showed Eliot Spitzer's 2006 Governor campaign TV ad...The slogan? "Bring the Passion back to Albany" Uhhhh You just go ahead and keep on believing that one Eliot... What a nimrod.

-Speaking of evil politicians... Maybe Hillary should run for Governor of New York?

-On American Idol Tuesday did anyone else notice the guy sitting over Randy's shoulder? He looked exactly like Bob "Bulldog" Brisco from the TV show Frasier played by Dan Butler. He was there last night too right near Jim Carrey. Am I imagining things or was that him? Did anyone else notice that?

-Dawn Wells the actress who played Marianne on Gilligan's Island was recently given a short jail term for a marijuana arrest. Sounds to me like maybe her character's name should have been Mary Jane instead.

-Doc

(Oh and thank you to all who volunteered to watch our dog while we are on vacation... We have him taken care of now!)

Julie's Cat

One winter back in college, Doc and I were visiting some friends in Charlotte. My friend Julie, decided to have a get together at her apartment. So, we drove over to her place in the cold, pouring rain. When we arrived at Julie's, there was a total of 10 of us. We ordered some pizzas and we had all brought beer. So, we were set to have a real fun time and get lambasted. As the evening progressed the cold rain continued, the beer flowed, the pizza got devoured, the music blared and the cigarette smoke filled the whole apartment. Everyone there was smoking except little ol' me. I was the only one who was getting irritated by the smoke after a while. At least at the time I thought I was the only one. Like I said, it was cold out so there were no windows open. Therefore, the smoke in the living room became thicker and thicker. The only window open was the sliding door to Julie's back porch which was open barely an inch.

Little by little we all got trashed. We were laughing, acting stupid and making a big mess spilling beer and food all over the carpet. Julie, our host, drank too much as well and we sensed that she was getting very annoyed. At first she was mad because our dear Doc brought his handgun (A Sig Sauer 9 Millimeter) with him and was showing a couple of our friends its details. Doc of course took the clip out, but Julie still was none too happy. Meanwhile, Julie's boyfriend Charlie ran to the bathroom as he was about to throw up from all the alcohol, junk food and smog. Julie runs into the bathroom after him. At the same time, our friend Dave, (also nicknamed Otis after the town drunk from The Andy Griffith Show) passed out drunk on her couch. This was my opportunity to enact revenge on Dave-Otis as he had put shaving cream on my crotch when I passed out at a party a few months earlier. I knocked on the bathroom door to ask Julie if she had any shaving cream. She did not answer me.

Suddenly out of nowhere, Julie's cat crawls out of hiding. (I don't remember the cat's sex, color or name, but Julie's Cat is a good enough name for all intents and purposes). Julie's Cat wanted nothing to do with us. That darn cat was almost choking to death and feebly dragged itself over to the sliding door and stuck his/her left paw in between the small crack of the door and pushed it open a little more so he/she could stick his/her snout out to get some fresh air. This is where Doc and I lost it. We couldn't believe it! Oh, my God it was the most hilarious thing we ever saw. At one point, it appeared that Julie's Cat looked back at Doc and me, shook its head in disapproval and turned back to breathe again. The two of us turned so red from laughter. No one else in the apartment saw what the cat had done. No one knew why we were rolling on the floor laughing our asses off.

After the laughter died down, I had to go to the bathroom. But it was still occupied by Julie and Charlie. My friend Mike and I were going to find a couple of bushes outside in lieu of the in-house facilities. I opened the front door and then like a flash of lightning, Julie's Cat ran underneath our legs and ran outside!

'Free at last! Free AT last!', Julie's Cat probably thought to his/herself.

But uh-oh we have to find him/her before Julie finds out....Too late. Julie came out of the bathroom and found out I accidentally let the cat out of the...ah...pad. At this point Julie had had enough. She began to scream at the top of her lungs the following diatribe:

'GODDAMN IT EVERYONE I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I INVITE YOU ALL OVER TO MY APARTMENT AND THE PLACE IS NOW A FUCKING PIG STY! AND SHANE BRINGS A GODDAMN GUN INTO MY HOUSE, MY BOYFRIEND IS THROWING UP IN MY BATHTUB, SOMEONE KEEPS ASKING FOR SHAVING CREAM AND NOW YOU LET MY FUCKING CAT RUN LOOSE IN THE GODDAMN FREEZING RAIN! PLEASE FIND MY CAT NOW AND EVERYONE GET THE FUCK OUT! DO NOT HELP ME CLEAN JUST GET OUT! I AM TIRED, CHARLIE IS SICK AND I AM NOT FUCKING HAPPY! FIND THE FUCKING CAT AND THEN FUCKING LEAVE!'

Luckily, Mike instantly found the cat and waltzed back in like a hero with he/she in his arms. One by one we said our goodbyes, Mike let the cat down, shut the door and we were gone. I don't remember who drove me home but I was in no condition to drive. Hell none of us were well enough to drive come to think of it.

And in case you were wondering, we were never asked back to hang out at Julie's apartment again.

- The Mountain Cat

A funny from the past

For anyone who ever wondered about the strange sense of humor that Mt. Cat and I seem to share here is a quick story he reminded me of last week. I bet none of you guys find this nearly as funny as we did...

Years ago before we were roommates we were headed out to the store together to get some things before going to a party. (which is a story in unto itself - Ya'll will have to remind me sometime to tell the story of "Julie's cat") We went to a Bi-Lo over off of Albemarle Road in Charlotte for supplies. After we had checked out when we were leaving the store there was a Coke machine with a sign on it to indicate that it was out of order. Instead of saying that it simply said "B-R-O-K-E" I pointed the sign out to Vin who started laughing so hard that he was about to fall over. I said something like, "Awwww, poor little Coke machine is out of money and it's broke. Maybe we should give him some money to help feed his family since he is so broke. " As if it were panhandling on the side of the street. We howled with laughter. At the time it was one of the funniest things ever. I wish we had digital cameras back then to grab a picture for posterity. It's still funny to this day the mental image of the Coke machine with the sign saying "Broke" on it and all I have to do is say, "It was broke" to Vin and he knows exactly what I am talking about.

See I told you all that Vin and I share a have really odd sense of humor. Does anyone else find that funny or should we be committed?

-Doc

Word Game Winner

As always the answers to the word game were fantastic and made for a very hard decision and I want to thank everyone for playing. However one stood out.... This weeks winner is Bina who writes Just Another Day. Here is her entry which I think is hilarious:

Monsignor Gianfanco Girotti advised that the church is going to recognize farting in the grocey store and dustcropping other shoppers as a big no-no. (even though I think she meant cropdusting - that made it all the more funny to me)

Here is your Peach Bina... Thank you for playing:


Thanks again everyone... I love hosting this game every week but it's you guys who make it happen.

-Doc

Tuesday Word Game 3/11

We go religious in this weeks word game. I thought about using the Eliot Spitzer but figured that was too easy. This story is about the Catholic church unveiling "new" sins yesterday including using mind altering drugs, genetic manipulation, and not taking care of the environment. We here at YJKOBT think there are some other trivial "sins" out there that the Pope could have brought up and it's you job to point them out. Complete the news article below with a witty (and obviously false) sin that the church should have called out yesterday. Best answer wins the Peach!

VATICAN CITY --In olden days, the deadly sins included lust, gluttony and greed. Now, the Catholic Church says pollution, mind-damaging drugs and genetic experiments are on its updated thou-shalt-not list. Also receiving fresh attention by the Vatican was social injustice, along the lines of the age-old maxim: "The rich get richer while the poor get poorer."
In the Vatican's latest update on how God's law is being violated in today's world, Monsignor Gianfranco Girotti advised that the church is going to recognize _________________ as a big no-no.

-Doc

(My first idea was that murder of a coffee maker is a big no-no... even a spitting one)

Dancing with the Stars Pre-show

I'd like to welcome you all to the DWTS commentary. The premier is next Mon and Tues at 8pm/7 central on ABC with the first elimination being Wed 3/19. This "pre-show" post is to give background on the Stars and start a little banter going between those of us who care and entice those of you who don't (Doc). Now here's what I don't get about guys not liking DWTS...the women are half naked and struting around, shaking things. As Bruno says in this clip "Satisfaction Guaranteed!"

Here's the listing of this year's Stars: Adam Carolla, Cristian de la Fuenta, Shannon Elizabeth, Steve Guttenberg, Mario, Marlee Matlin, Penn Jillette, Priscilla Presley, Monica Seles, Jason Taylor, Marissa Jaret Winokur, Kristi Yamaguchi.

Now, as Lu pointed out, the hottness factor is somewhat down in the men. However, I think Cristian is the forerunner in this category. Plus, he's got that spanish thing going for him. Me loves an accent! For the women, there are several good choices. For sheer sex appeal I gotta go with Shannon Elizabeth. Who could forget her in "American Pie"? Watch out though guys, she's got a lot of practice with hustling in her many poker championships.

In looking at natural talent I would say that Kristi Yamaguchi has a huge advantage over the other women. Basically Figure Skating is like dancing on ice so this should be a snap for her. I think that R&B star Mario has got the ability to dominate the men on this one. Unless there is a sleeper here that I'm not aware of.

If you want to check out the competitors and form your own opinions for yourself, here is the Official DWTS website:

Twinkle Toes,

Apple

Jury Cat

Today I am proudly serving my country at my local court house for jury duty. Hopefully this experience will give me some good blogging material. Potential Friday's Top Ten List perhaps? Otherwise I will bored out of my mind. Either way I'll have Elmore Leonard and Dan Silva novels to keep me company. Stay tuned.

- The Mountain Cat

'Hey Eliot, so how do the women rate you?'.....

Spitzer Is Linked to Prostitution Ring

Posted Mar 10th 2008 2:26PM by Peter CohanFiled under: Law, Headline news

The New York Times reports that New York Governor and Eliot Spitzer, will give a press conference this afternoon to announce his involvement with a prostitution ring. This is something I would expect to see on the cover of a tabloid, not the Times.
Spitzer informed his most senior administration officials that he had been involved in a prostitution ring. Just last week, federal prosecutors arrested four people in connection with an expensive prostitution operation. Administration officials would not say that this was the ring with which the governor had become involved.

Stay tuned for Spitzer's press conference for word on whether any of those four people implicated Spitzer or whether Spitzer will resign. No word on how his wife and three children feel. In January, Vanity Fair wrote after reviewing Spitzer's tough first year in office "Ask Jim Cramer of CNBC's Mad Money, Spitzer's pal from Harvard Law School, about the guy [Spitzer] and he is uncharacteristically speechless." No doubt Cramer would also be speechless about Spitzer's latest news.
---

What a dunce!












- Posted by The Mountain Cat

Mr. Coffee tried to hurt me

This morning my Black & Decker coffee maker started to bubble over the top. I tried to open the lid and it spit at me! A large glob - part water, part coffee grinds - came shooting out of the flip top and landed on my white tee sheet. It burnt my navel. The wet grinds bubbled over like hot magma and dripped all over all my floor. AHHH!! What a mess! Calgon take me away!

I promptly unplugged the damn thing, cleaned up the mess & residue and changed my clothes. Tonight I will murder the bloody appliance and go directly to a PC Richard's tomorrow and buy a new one. I cannot have any more trauma in my life! Least of all concerning my favorite morning beverage!

- the Mountain Cat

Weekly Poll 3/10

Last weeks poll was another snoozer with Kramer from Seinfeld easily showing up the competition with a resounding win. I figured this week we would level the playing field a bit and ask about pop culture. Specifically about the trainwrecks that are these young Hollywood types. You know them, their every stupid move is documented by the press and the paparazzi. Heck some of them are just famous for being famous. They spend more time in rehab than a physical therapy patient and I for one wish they would go away. I have selected 4 worthy specimens for us to vote on this week. Kind of a list of the usual suspects. Lindsay, Britney, Amy, and Paris... Which is the biggest trainwreck in your opinion?

-Doc

2 things...

First of all I want to welcome a new Contributing blog writer to our little slice of heaven here at You Jut Keep On Believing That... As American as Apple Pie who posts here and you guys are I am sure familiar with is going to contribute from time to time. I guess she thinks that the place needed a female touch...LOL no actually she is going to post/host a weekly discussion on Dancing with the Stars (which I know nothing about) and other social commentary as well. 2 things pop into my mind. First, Maybe the place can use a little bit of a female touch... and second...Dammit if she isn't a Republican too which means I am outnumbered 3 to 1 by Republican contributors on my own blog... Yeesh. Anyway welcome "Apple" as I call her because I am too lazy to type out the whole darn thing.

Second Mt. Cat and I are hosting an NCAA tournament Pool on Yahoo Fantasy sports because I thought it would be fun. All of the information is over on the right hand side of the page. I would love it if everyone of our regulars played because it will give us 3 weeks of competition. It will only take about 10 minutes to do your picks once they are available next Sunday so please join up when you get a minute and we can all have some fun with this.

-Doc

And the winner is....

Lu' wins the popular vote for several of her funny lines in Friday's Top Ten List.

Therefore, Lu' wins her second Lion Kiss Award:

Congratulation Lu'!

- The Mountain Cat

Hitting the High Notes 3/8

Here is this weeks smorgasbord of odd stuff:

-A million nerds are in mourning after the death this week of Gary Gygax, who co-created the fantasy game Dungeons & Dragons and is widely seen as the father of the role-playing games. How much you wanna bet they make some kind of a creepy shrine or dungeon dedicated to him in his home town of Milwaukee?

-If you have ever worried that you are a bad parent, or thought that you had the worst parents in the world fear not! All you need to do is meet "The Worst Mommy in the World" from Orlando Florida. This disgrace to humanity decided because her 2 year old daughter was throwing a temper tantrum that she would punish her by spraying her with a high-pressure water hose at an Orlando car wash....Yeah you read that right, one of those car wash hoses. Thank goodness the security cameras caught her so there is proof... The video showed the child trying to hide her face while the woman pinned her to a wall and sprayed her at close range. The Sheriff's Office Child Abuse detectives are still investigating the criminal portion of this case. I say let me do the investigation on this one this woman doesn't deserve to be a parent.

-From the "Uh No thank You" department: The Seattle Biomedical Research Institute will pay volunteers as much as $4,000 to be bitten by mosquitoes infected with malaria. Ummmm I prefer my tropical diseases to stay where they are, in the tropics so I think I will have to pass.

-Whoever came up with this list of the worst nude scenes in cinematic history obviously never saw the movie "Borat". I dare anyone to disagree with me.

-This dude is braver than me: The divorce of Anton Popazov and his wife, Nataliya, is about to go through, but the couple are still contractually committed to the Moscow State Circus, where their act includes Nataliya's shooting an apple off of Anton's head with a crossbow. The Times of London asked Anton during a show in Sheffield, England, in February whether he was afraid. "I still trust her because Nataliya is very professional," he said. "(T)he show must go on." [The Times (London), 2-12-08]

Here is this week's "Motivational Poster of the Week:


Ya'll have a great weekend and don't forget to move your clocks forward tonight !

-Doc

I cannot decide

Who should win my award for the best comment on this Friday's Top Ten list?

Please decide for me.

Whoever gets the most votes wins the award.

The cut off is midnight on Saturday.

Thank you and have a great weekend.

- The Mountain Cat

Top Ten Things Overheard in Major League Baseball That Sound Sexual But Really Aren't

10. 'Dude let me rub some of your tar on my stick.'
9. 'He straddled it to avoid being touched.'
8. 'I'll throw him my backdoor slider and he will reach around with his bat.'
7. 'He's got soft hands when he grabs it in the dirt'.
6. 'That's two balls near his chin in this at bat.'
5. 'Bonds is up, sitting on number 69.'
4. 'He looked limp after he came into the bag.'
3. 'Oh my God. Almost there...Just one more pitch for a perfect game.'
2. 'Mariano Rivera will relieve Andy Pettitte after this inning.'
1. 'Oh you will inject it in my ass??? We'll if we don't get caught, ok.'

Happy Friday!

- The Mountain Cat

Thursday Random Thoughts 3/6

Stuff I have been thinking about:

-If any of you all ever see me wearing "Crocs" you have my permission to slap me upside the head.

-Does anyone want to meet Tie-Bo master Billy Blanks? If you do then FYI he will be here in Charlotte this weekend at some Health and Wellness seminar.

-Interesting Google search note of the week: Someone from Rancho Rio New Mexico found our blog this week by searching "honey bunches of bark"

-I heard "Playing with the Queen of Hearts" by Juice Newton on the radio the other day. It has been a long time since I heard that song which I find odd because I often listen to a station that plays songs in constant shuffle mode.

-Do they still make Swatch watches?

-An actual name in my customer follow up list on Tuesday that I found funny: X-X-X-X-X-X-X . just as a little bonus X-X-X-X lives in someplace called X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X.

- I was thinking that Andrew Ridgley and John Oates should start their own group and call it "Wham-O"

-I cooked the spaghetti pie that Bina posted the recipe for this past weekend and it was fantastic! My wife even called me gourmet (without joking). Thanks Bina!

-It's my understanding that that "The Sharper Image" went bankrupt. I will miss that place because they had all the cool gadgets and I used to always look at the catalog when I was growing up. The thing is that the stores are apparently still open but refuse to honor gift cards that were purchased previously. (25 million dollars worth of cards actually) so if you have a Sharper Image gift card apparently you are out of luck.

-Now that it's March I am really looking forward to our Florida vacation the 23rd - 29th. We are going to see some friends in Jacksonville and Panama City Beach. I can't wait! BTW - On a related note... Does anyone want to have a very cute and very sweet black lab who is afraid of being boarded at the vet, stay with them for 5 days at the end of the month? He kind of looks like this lab riding in the cooler.

-Does anyone else snicker whenever they hear the name Chester?

- Ok so I am going to "baby proof" our kitchen. We go out last Saturday and buy these high quality magnetic door locks that require installation. They are pretty heavy duty and so I get looking at the instructions and among the tools that I need to install them is a drill with a 9/32nd bit. Now why on earth do they have to make it be that 1 extra 32nd? 8/32nds would be 1/4 inch which of course I have in my drill bit collection, but nooooooo. Now I have to go out and buy a new drill bit that I will probably never use again just because these silly door locks just have to have that extra 32nd of an inch... Yeesh.

-Don't forget to set your clocks ahead an hour before you go to bed Saturday night.

-Doc

Oh and I saw this and thought of our good pal Jahooni.... BTW - I am Just kidding...