The Airing of Grievances (Doc's)

Ok, in the great tradition of Seinfeld Vin and I celebrate Festivus (here is a link for those not familiar) each year. Vin has a party complete with a pole and we go through all the holiday essentials. Here we will share one of these with you. It's called the airing of grievances. Here we will list all the things that got under our skin, made us mad, or generally ticked us of this past year:

Shane's Grievances:
(the following ticked me off in 2007)

- Anna Nicole Smith and that stupid Judge in the case over her body Larry Seidlin


- The leading news story on the day my son was born was Paris Hilton being pre-maturely released from jail and then put back in the slammer.


- The worst TV commercial on earth is for a crappy website called salesgenie.com that makes it seem that the only way your daddy will spend time with you and get you a puppy is if you subscribe to their sub par product


- Nobody believed me that Michael Vick was a big ole turd of a human being until this year, and sadly some still don't.


- Why was Rodney King still in the news in 2007?


- It stinks that we all know who Richard Jewell was for the wrong reason when he died earlier this year.

- The following people really annoyed me in 2007: (in no particular order) Rachael Ray, Nancy Grace, Robb Thomas of Matchbox 20, Tom Tancredo, Lindsay Lohan, Both Don Imus and Al Sharpton, Kanye West, Dick Cheney, OJ Simpson, Miss Teen SC USA, Donald Trump, George Bush,Tim Tebow, Rudy Giuliani, Whoever invented Head On, Ann Coulter, Terrell Owens, Al Gore, Fidel Castro, Sanjaya Malakar, Mike Nifong, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Bill O'Reily, Karl Rove, Rosie O'Donnell, Larry King, Ellen DeGeneres and that stupid dog named Iggy

- Even though I am sure it's good for the environment I am sick and tired of hearing about "Going Green"

- Wal - Mart (the closest thing to the Third Reich in America)

- The furnace in our house that was working just fin when we turned it off in April but somehow broke 2 expensive parts during it's period of non-use until November.

- The hype over PS3, Wii, I-Phone, and Halo 3 (BTW- the hype over Harry Potter is worth it)

- Why the heck is Survivor still on the air - No one has watched that show since they were in Australia how many years ago?

- The coverage that the media gives to individuals like the Virginia Tech shooter that encourages other unstable people like the Omaha Mall shooter to do things "to make it big" - Shameful

- MRSA staph infections and lead laced paint in toys from China

- My sports teams: NY Mets managed the biggest end of season collapse in history, The Carolina Panthers season = down the drain when Jake Delhomme had to have Tommy John surgery, Florida State continued to stroll down the avenue called mediocrity, and Jeff Gordon managed to score more points than any driver EVER has in a 36 race season and still get beaten for the championship.... Here's to a better 2008 for all of them.

- Is it just me or is there anyone else out there who wishes that the UF campus police had tasered Andrew Meyer until his hair had fallen out and skin turned black. That dude's 15 minutes should have been up a long time ago.... and now YALE has given him the quote of the year honor.... Yeesh.

- Senator Larry Craig's steadfast admission that he isn't gay... Uh buddy no one really cares if you are or aren't gay (except maybe some homosexuals whose rights you consistently vote against) just stop with the lies about what went on in that bathroom stall. Who the heck uses a nasty airport restroom like that anyway unless its an real emergency and if it's an emergency then who is taking notice of the others in the stalls around them??? No one thats who... By the way, whether you are gay or not if you are peeking into bathroom stalls at an airport you have bigger problems than keeping your senate seat.

- Teenage girls who pronounce words with that valley girl accent... example when they pronounce the word pants like they are saying the word "wants" ie. ponts... ya'll know what I mean.

- Dora the Explorer and Go Diego Go. Our kids should not have to learn Spanish to live in our own country and both these cartoons express that opinion... AND I am pretty sure that the monkey boots is actually the same voice as Diego. Frauds I tell you... FRAUDS!

Arm Training on a Train

This morning I learned a very value lesson of how different the New Jersey PATH train is as compared to the New York City MTA subway.

Sometimes to catch a train before it leaves without me, I would throw one of my appendages, usually a leg or an arm, between the doors as they are closing. Now in New York City I have always had no fear placing my leg between the doors in a 'kicking a soccer ball motion'. One hundred percent of the time the doors will open up and I'd be on my way. But this morning I tried the same thing with the New Jersey PATH train for the very first time only to find out I cannot get away what I used to.

So at 8:00 AM today some wimpy lady stood in front of me while the PATH train doors closed in front of her. She made no effort what-so-ever. I quickly reacted to the left of her like Dennis Rodman going for a rebound. I stretched my left arm between the space of the closing doors.

'Ah ha!', I said to myself. 'This Doggone Train Is Mine!'

One problem, though. The frikin’ doors did not open!!

Now the onlookers on the platform next to me were in horror while the onlookers inside the train were pissed off that I am delaying their train ride. So this went on for about 60 seconds. I then realized this train was going to do one of two things: Wait until I pried my arm out of the door OR leave the station with my arm attached to the train. I assumed the PATH train drive would have given me no quarter. So I struggled to get my wing out while not leave a black rubber door stain on my beige coat.

About 2 seconds after I was free, the train left.

Embarrassed as I was, I shrugged it off and walked to the other end of the platform where there was no one who had witnessed my brush with....well death.

So lesson learned. New Jersey can be tougher than New York. Now I have to see if I can get away with the same thing on the New Jersey buses!

TMC

Fred Thompson: I've had my mojo the whole time

Yes friends you know your Presidential campaign is in trouble when you have to resort to sound bites using the word 'mojo'.
(Story: http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/12/19/thompson.tour/index.html).

Now unless he unearths Jim Morrison or dons an Austin Powers retro blue suit, I don't like my politicians using such a parlance of our times.

Then again maybe this is what these pundits need to do to get our short attention spans now a days.

But I tell you what? If Hillary Clinton ever utters the phrase 'That's Hot', I will not be anywhere near any poll booths come two thousand ot eight!! - TMC

Random Thought

Does anyone else out there think that it's a great irony that the Republicans are holding their National convention in 2008 in the same city where Senator Larry Craig got caught in a compromising position in the airport bathroom?

Maybe the GOP should adopt "We have a wide stance" as their 2008 slogan.

;) - Shane

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Yeah it does look like the elpehant will have a 'wide stance' too. - Vince

Question for you....

Am I the only one today who thought "They must be destroying some more incriminating CIA waterboarding tapes over there" when news broke that there was a fire in Dick Cheney's ceremonial office in the White House Executive office building? - Shane

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Actually I think his pace-maker over heated and burnt his couch up.

- TMC (The Mountain Cat)

J. L. Spears

I would like to give a warm congratulation to Jamie Lynn Spears for getting knocked up at the worldly age of 16. I would also like to congratulate you on now being the poster child (sic) for all future teen pregnancies in America.

My niece is 16 and you have made my family that much more paranoid.
So if Julie Roberts is 'America's Sweetheart', Jamie Lynn Spears is 'America's Prostitot'. You have made your big sis Britney very very proud. Best of luck to you and the father!


Vince

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My thoughts = Here is my question; She is only 16 so how come the cops aren't going after the 19 year old statuatory rapist boyfriend??

Plus Here is a story that I think is truly hilarious. The mother Lynne Spears was writing a book on parenting that is now "indefinitely on hold" Who in their right mind would ever agree to give Brittney Spears mom money for writing a book on parenting ??


Shane (Doc)

From time to time I love to point out oddities in the news, funny or offbeat news stories or just plain insane things... I came across this news headline today and figured that I would have to share... Classic!

I think that headline writer deserves a raise.


Doc

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I think 'Ice Hole' would be a great name for a dive bar in downtown Reykjavík.

The Mountain Cat

Welcome to all

Welcome to Vin and Shane's blog entitled "You just keep on believing that" - Hopefully you will read and enjoy... any feedback would be appreciated.


Vin and Shane
December 19, 2007