Regret

With Doc on the shelf, I guess I’ll pick up the torch today. I have often said I don’t have any regrets from my life thus far. Are there some things I wish had gone differently, definitely. The experiences I’ve had make me who I am today and I have so much to be thankful for that I can’t say I’d want things differently. However, as some of you know, my father passed away late last year. It has caused me to reflect on things that I hadn’t given much thought to over the years. And, it turns out that I do have regret.

For the past few years, I have really second guessed my decision to not join the military. Growing up, I always believed that I’d be a Marine like my father. But as I went through and graduated from college, that became less of an option for me personally. I had become lazy and wanted to take the easy/have fun road instead. When people ask, “Why didn’t you go into the service (like your father)?” I usually respond jokingly with, “I served my 18 years.” In truth, I was selfish and made excuses for not signing up. Excuse number 1: My wife’s father was also a Marine, but her military childhood was not as memorable as mine. I rationalized that if I chose to enter the Corps, she may not stay with me (we were still dating when I graduated). I have come to realize it was not the service, but the man that made it that way. He took off when she was 16, leaving a wife with 4 daughters behind. Excuse number 2: I only wanted to be a pilot and the services were only taking engineering graduates, not business administration grads into aviation training. It was the same when my Dad went in, but he got in and was an incredible pilot…with a sports education degree from Carson-Newman. He did a lot of studying to make up for his lack of engineering/science knowledge the other students had already. He made his childhood dream a reality, never having stepped foot in a plane before his first training flight.

Tied to this regret is the fact that I always told Dad that one day I’d at least get my private pilot’s license so we could fly around together. I always made excuses for not getting this done, as well.

This all came to a head this morning as my mother gave me Dad’s ’03 Tahoe. It still has the Marine Corp license plate (which I have to give to her when I get a regular FL plate) and a few flight wing markings. These are things I must take off because I haven’t earned them.

Regret, it really sucks. My goal from this point on is to never have to look back and have anything else added to this list.