Tweet of the Week Award 1/20/10

I am introducing a new feature here on YJKOBT. The Tweet of the Week! (only kind of stolen from Sports Illustrated columnist Peter King) I follow a bunch of great and funny people on Twitter and often laugh or cringe at the things they say. I am going to use this space each week to highlight some of these great tweets. This weeks winner is @susantran for her hilarious Tweet about American Idol and the lack of Asian pop singers:
An Asian dude is an American Idol hopeful. Cool! I'm afraid we might not be a hugely musical people! Plz submit names of #asianpopstars! :) Here is the permalink to this Tweet.
I have included a funny picture of Susan supporting Charity by "growing" a mustache. Susan is a local Charlotte news personality who not only lots of fun as a tweeter but is also a big supporter of local charities:

Susan: Here is your Tweet of the Week award if you want to post it on your blog. And if you send me the address of your blog I will gladly post it here for others to read and follow:


Until next week keep tweeting and of course if you have a twitter feed I need to be following please let me know.

-Doc

"Weird Al" Kiss

Karen wins a Lion Kiss Award for her parody song of I Got Friends In Low Places by Garth Brooks:

I got friends in blog places
Where the Mt. Cat lists
and his lyrics chases our blues away
And we're all ok.
We're not big on Heather Mills
And Doc likes to trace dollar bills.
Oh I've got friends in blog places.

Enjoy guurrllfrien'!:

- The Mountain Cat

Wow an award!

WNG wins a Lion Kiss Award for yesterday's '"Weird Al" Wednesday with this Creedence Clearwater Revival parody:

Long as I remember McCain been comin down.Clouds of mystry pourin confusion on the ground.Good men through the ages, tryin to find the sun;And I wonder, still I wonder, can Barack stop McCain?

Enjoy your award!:

Please visit WNG's blog: A Whole New G.

Also, Doc and I will be hanging at Shea Stadium today! Go Padres!

Happy Thursday.

- The Mountain Cat

What the hel *HICCUP*

Doc & Micky-T both get a Golden Lion for coming up with Bicycle Races on this slow Friday.
Plus I am drinking some Jim Be...James Beam...Jim Beet...John Booh....whiskey right now.
Right LeapO' Faith?

Enjoy you bastids!

*THUD*

- TMC

***Jennifer and Jay can share too as I am catching up on my comments****

What's in a Name?

Ever wonder how some sports teams got their nicknames?

Here are a few that did not last...

The Top Ten Rejected Sports Team Nicknames:

10. The Pensacola Profos.
9. The Mighty Fighting Toad Stools.
8. The Provincetown 69ers.
7. The Malihini Shipwreckers.

6. The Mexican Fence Jumping Beans.

5. The Carolina Cancer.

4. The Louisiana Levee Breakers.

3. The Plano Polygamists.
2. The San Jose Cansecos.

And the Number One Rejected Sports Team Nickname is:

1. The Manila Folders.

Did I miss any folks?
Happy Friday.

- The Mountain Cat

Awarding the awards

I've been real slack lately on this blog. Maybe it is due to the nice weather we've been having and it dumbs me down........

......sorry, what was I saying?

Oh yes....awards. I owes some awards to my loyal readers of my Friday's Top Ten Lists for the last two weeks. All your comments were just fantabulous. Therefore, I will give my awards to EVERYONE! You can pick whichever one you like below. Enjoy!

Oh shoot how did the last two photos get in there??? Oops.

- The Mountain Cat

PS: I am not in the office on Monday! Yeeeehaaawww!!!

Cites and the City

Well it is finally here folks!!!!!!!!!!

The Sex & the City Movie!!!!!!!!

Aren't you excited????????????????
I know I am!!!!!!!! (satire)

For those of you who are new to this blog, please read my previous story: Snax and the City.
For those of you who are old to this blog, I give you...

The Top Ten Things Overheard at the Sex & the City Movie Premiere at Radio City

10. 'Without giving away the ending; Mr. Big is really Mr. Small'.

9. 'Really, Mario Cantone is gay??? Who'd a thunk it?'

8. 'Cynthia Nixon is not gay. I just saw her holding hand with some guy...Oh that's woman??? She dresses like a man!'

7. 'Shhh! Yes I did sleep with Kim once. But please dude, don't tell my wife Sarah.'

6.'Sarah, I just saw your movie and I loved it!'

5.'Sarah, I just saw your movie.'

4. 'Isn't Charlotte husband the same actor who played Captain Picard on Star Trek Enterprise?'

3. 'Mommy, what does tea-bagging mean?'

2. 'Ah shoot, I broke a nail! What would Carrie do in this situation?'

And the number one Thing Overheard at the Sex & the City Movie Premiere at Radio City is....

1. 'Nah forget it. Lets go see the new Raiders movie instead'.

Any other funnies folks?

Happy Friday.

- The Mountain Cat

As American As Apple Cores

Friday's Top Ten Rejected Dessert Products:

10. Billy Graham Crackers.
9. Cookies & Goo.
8. Back to School Pencil & Erase flavored Ice Cream Pops.
7. Fruit Rolling Papers.
6. Darryl’s Strawberries.
5. Chocolate Mouse Cake.
4. Beef Cobbler.
3. Pits & Stems Trail Mix.
2. Prune Brûlée.

And the #1 Rejected Dessert Product is....

1. Baracklava.

Any more rejects folks?

Happy Friday I leave work at 2 o'clock! WHOOHOO!!

- The Mountain Cat

Person I Can't Do Without

My partner-in-crime Doc is the winner of this week's Top Ten List Award with a ridiculous amount of funny comments about people he can do without. I think Doc had all of them written down in a notebook from all the years of listening to George Carlin.

Doc you win my very special Lion Peach Award!:

Congrats Holmes.

And thank you everyone for all your comments! We set a comment record today....until Tuesday's Peachfest sponsored by Ocean Spray!

Y'all have a great weekend.

- The Mountain Cat

Na Na Nananana Na Na Na Nananana Na

Sassy Mama Bear is the winner of this weeks' Misheard Song Lyrics' Lion Kiss Award for completely destroying the lyrics to Centerfold by J. Geils Band. The correct verse is 'My Angel is a Centerfold. But instead Sassy Mama Bear wrote: "My anus is the center hole."

Too funny. Congratulation. Your family will be proud! Come on down and claim your prize:

Thank you everyone for playing. Have a great weekend.

- The Mountain Cat

Misheard lyrics

I love rock and pop music. But what the hell are they saying sometimes???

The Top Ten Misheard Song Lyrics:

10. Ground control to Mao Tse-tung (Space Oddity by David Bowie)

9. My mama said canary love, you'll just have to wait. (Can't Hurry Love the Phil Collins version).

8. Platform dickheads, restless anals, goodbye you hoes. (White Room by Cream)

7. Save a whale save a whale save a whale. (Sail Away by Enya).

6. My love for you will still be strong after the poison summer has gone. (Boys of Summer by Don Henley)

5. Take your pants down, and make it happen! (Flashdance (Oh What a Feeling) by Irene Cara)

4. Homos is all we are, homos is all we are, homos is all we are... (All Apologies by Nirvana)

3. It doesn't matter what they say, in the jealous games people play, hey hey hey, Alex the seal. (Our Lips are Sealed by The Go-Go's)

2. Last night I dreamt of some A-holes. (La Isla Bonita by Madonna)

1. Buddy you're a young man hard man, shoutin in the street gonna take on the world some day. You got blood on your face, you big disgrace, wavin' your bladder all over the place. We will we will rock you! Sing it, ta! (We Will Rock You by Queen)

Want a Lion Kiss?
Any others?
Doc, I saved the best one for you....

Happy Friday

- The Mountain Cat

Friday's Top Ten Winner is....

Jay (aka Cynical Bastard) who wrote these goodies for my The Top Ten New State Mottos:

Mississippi: "We ain't much on book learnin'."

Ohio: Only half of us are functional illiterates.

New Jersey: Our strip clubs rock!

Florida: Come make fun of us in person.

Texas: That driver you just flipped off is armed to the teeth.

Nebraska: There's nothing here.

Utah: You didn't really want to buy a drink after 9 PM anyway.

Come grab your Lion Bar:

Too funny man.

Y'all have a great weekend.

- The Mountain Cat

Special Presentation

We at YJKOBT have a presentation to make. Today congratulations go out to Jahooni who was the 25,000th visitor to our blog. In spite of the fact that she thinks this is a joke I assure you that it is in fact real. The award that goes along with this significant milestone is partial ownership. Jahooni is being given a share of stock in YJKOBT. Please see the official certificate below (you can click on it to blow it up) Congratulations on being a shareholder!
Along with becoming a shareholder she will also be given a place in the YJKOBT Hall Of Fame set aside for milestone visitors. (Once the hall is completed)

Congrats again Jahooni... you deserve it. (plus Mt. Cat and I are glad that we didn't have to give this award to Anniken McFly). When you get a chance make sure and visit Jahooni at her place Jahooni World.

-Doc and the Mt. Cat

The Lion Goes Down Under

My favorite comment on my Friday's Top Ten New Stories Goes for 2013 is from our Australian blogster Lesley who wrote this off the wall rant:

As for Aussie predictions.. Cricket will cease to exist and so will football because of cruelty to animals, no more throwing the "pig skin" around. Every Cricket player will have joined the elite Heavy Metal Band and all have singles out with the word sport mentioned in every second verse.Milk will be good for you, but then scientist will say it's bad for you, then good ,then bad, same thing goes with water.. Oh, hang on that's happening already.We will start an Aussie Wood to compete with Dolly Wood.Our Prime Minister will have a punch-up with the queen so that there is no queen and we become a republic.And there's more but since you have probably not laughed at any of this I will quit while I'm ahead.Luv Ya...Lesley

Lesley therefore you win a....
I couldn't find a horny kangaroo so I hope this will do Lesley? Please visit her blog at Lesley's Life & Other Happenings. Great work Lesley as well as everyone else!

- The Mountain Cat

Mountain Cat to the Future!

Wouldn't you like to know what the future holds for us? Well I'm going to play the soothsayer on this Friday. What will be the hot topics 5 years from now? Hmmmm????

The Top Ten New Stories for 2013......

10. A new study confirms that exercising causes cancer. McDonalds hamburgers are recommended announced the FDA.

9. Howie Mandell joins UN mission for peace. To pound hands with Iran on Monday.

8. First lady Britney Spears Obama and Sister Mary Paris Hilton-EconoLodge to console devastated Beverly Hills residences as a local shopping mall is torn down.

7. Pulitzer Prize winning bloggers Doc & Mountain Cat to open their You Go Ahead and Keep on Believing That Slip and Slide Water Park at the Six Flags Carowinds in Charlotte, North Carolina.

6. Will Ferrell is tops at the box office this year for his films 'Blades of Glory 3', 'Ricky Bobby 4' and 'Script-less Movie Where Will Ferrell Yells A Lot'.

5. The Chicago Cubs win their 5th consecutive World Series title.

4. Hillary Swank wins her third Oscar for her role in the film 'Butch'.

3. NASA has announced that Daisy the sheep becomes the first cloned animal to be eaten in space.

2. 'Tonight on TMZ; Miley Cyrus: Bankrupt, alone, mother of two and pregnant again. Will she be able to kick her cocaine habit? Plus an exclusive live interview with her father Billy Ray Cyrus from his Folsom Prison cell about the murders of all his daughters boyfriends. His acky-breaky story after the Simpsons.'

And the # 1 New Story from 2013 is....

1. Members of the bands Green Day, U2, Blink 182, Hanson, New Kids on the Block, Beastie Boys, Counting Crows, Black Crowes, Audioslave, Metallica, Dave Matthews Band, R.E.M. and Linkin Park all die of drug overdoses this past year. The Rolling Stones will play a memorial concert on their behalf announced Mick, Keith, Bill and Ron. (Long Live The Rolling Stones!)

Anyone else have any predictions?
Happy Friday.

- The Mountain Cat

I Hope for Pope Soap on a Rope?? Ahhh, Nope!

Pope Benedict XVI is in Manhattan as we speak. I will try to get a glimpse of him when he stops by St. Patrick's Cathedral this afternoon. But since midtown is on such a lock down, I doubt I will get to see him.

Any who, I wonder what he wants to accomplish while he is here?

Hmmmm??

The Top Ten Things Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America.....

10. Change the Catholic mass celebratory wine and wafer to beer and wienerschnitzel (Well he is German).

9. Make that red Pope hat fashionable.

8. Buy knock off Gucci wallets and sunglasses from a street corner 'salesman'.

7. To promote the manufacturing of his Pope Mobile which has 40 MPG on the street, 50 MPG on the highway.

6. Exercise the Chicago Cubs 100 year curse of not winning the World Series.

5. Go to a New York Ranger playoff game and yell 'Potvin Sucks!'

4. Take the Sex & the City bus tour.

3. At mass at St. Patrick Cathedral, tell the crowd that Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code will replace the King James Bible. Cough. Then laugh. Then yell 'Fool you!'

2. Go out 'clubbing' with Jenna Bush and her friends.

And the #1 Thing that Pope Benedict XVI Wants to Accomplish on His Trip To America....

1. Make Oprah kiss his feet.

Any other warped ideas folks to compete for my Lion Award??? Happy Friday.

- The Mountain Cat

(Disclaimer: I truly love my Pope and I have a very strong faith in God. I hope they both know this blog is purely satire. Amen).

Lion Lion Lion!

It was another tough one this week but Anndi wins my Lion Kiss Award for several of her funny comments on my Friday's List of The Top Ten Retirement Home Communities!

Anndi are you ready? I hope you brushed your teeth......

Ahhhh that was fun...hee hee. Enjoy!

Please visit Anndi's blog at: http://anndisluggage.blogspot.com/.

Y'all have a great weekend all y'all!

- The Mountain Cat

Friday's Top Ten List - April 11th.

It seems like more and more there are new retirement home communities and developments that are being built across this great nation of ours. However, it is often very difficult to find the right one for our senior loved ones when that time comes where they need 'special attention' you can't or don't have time to provide (You know who you are and you should feel guilty about it dammit!).....But I digress.....Seriously now, I did some research and I came up with a list of the best quality retirement communities. However I must warn you, these communities have some weird and ironic names, but they will give you dear old folks the top notch attention they deserve in their Golden Years.

I give you The Top Ten Retirement Home Communities:

10. White Light Heights
9. Novena’s Passage
8. Flat Line Farms
7. The 9th Inning Inn for Retired Professional Ball Players.
6. Cadaverous Meadows
5. Cemetarista
4. Fading Creek
3. Peat Moss Manor
2. Lime & Daisies Botanical Compost Crossings
1. Happy Trails at The Last Resort

If anyone is interested in any information on these places, I do have the addresses for them if want? LOL

Does anyone know of any other high quality Retirement Home Communities?

The best recommendation will win a Lion Award!

- The Mountain Cat

Friday's Top Ten List

What is your favorite McDonald's food product? I hope it is none of these...

The Top Ten Worst McDonald's Food ideas.

10. McHaggis
9. Pom Frites Donaldaux
8. Edible McUndies
7. The Feel Happy Meal co-sponsored by Zoloft
6. The Grimace House charity quadruple bypass cheese burger.
5. McHalloween party pack including an official John Wayne Gacy clown outfit.
4. Orca Sized Meals.
3. Mayor McCheese's 'special sauce'
2. Is it McBeef, Chicken, Fish or all three? You guess right and have your meal Super Sized for free.
1. The Senator John McMcCain diabetic Veggie low cholesterol meal for seniors.

Do y'all know of any other bad ideas from our favorite fast food giant? A Lion Award awaits for the best one....

Have a great Friday. I am off today from work and therefore I am going back to sleep now.

- The Mountain Cat

P-Did-It

Ok Christine, YOU DID IT. I decided that your comment, P-Did-It, was the funniest for most obscure hip-hopper. A nice little play on words on Puffy's old gun charge. Nicely done sis.

You win a Golden Lion Award!

Hope you all had a great weekend.

- The Mountain Cat